Sometimes I just felt so dissapointed with myself for being not perfect, for all the weaknesses I see in myself, for trying yet failed. I know everyone makes mistakes but it's not just me but I'm affecting others too. I was rather sorrowful lately, it's something deep that I'm willing to share once I'm ok. I read this, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done." 2 Corinthians 7:10-11. Yes, I thank God for the sorrow. Through my weaknesses that God revealed, I learnt many precious lessons. I learnt that I haven't been firm in what I believed in. Scanning of lanyards for my friends which I thought isn't right bcos 1. it affects their studies. scanning also means i play a part too. 2. i always believed in honesty is the best policy. 3. the 10 commandment says so, "do not lie" but yet I did it. Also, I learnt that i'm not a very initiative person. God reminded of my TL during my first mission trip, how he took the initiative to do things, etc. I learnt again. I did not fulfill my responsibilities. I learnt that it is beyond myself to do all these. For this, I'm more humbled than ever, depending on God more than ever, praying more than ever. Yet, I thank God for all the distress, troubles, sleepless nights because I've learnt from God. I know that the weaknesses that He've shown me is not to condemn me but it really to change and renew me inside out to be the person He wants me to be. I felt that God is really moulding me this year. God revealed to me more of my weaknesses that He wants me to change. He is like the potter, shaping me with His hands, this year even more intense. Though it is not gonna be an easy process, somtimes even stressful and painful but I trust in Him because He saw through the lump of clay which is me and sees my potential. More than a lump of clay, He saw a beautiful vase.

dying, and yet we live on;
sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;
having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:9-10