sharon is happy she bought a label maker =) FUN!!!
sharon is beginning to like her relatives more this lunar new year.
sharon favourite pencil is pink decorated with white and purple flowers, written "God's Girl" =)

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
*holding 2 mandarin oranges and say "gong xi fa cai, wan shi ru yi!"*

shen zhu fu man man =)

replies:
odie & kam: yea yea! i love ice kachang and ice kachang aunty and uncle. thx for intro-ing me.=)
xueer: same here... hehs.
rachelynn: ah! 'm good. you? =)

updates:
yay! i have 4 days of hol! shiok! but the best part is that walk with God again, after not walking with him for about a week. i realise how impt it is to have strength and to live in victory. That's why Jesus makes solitude a priority. relationship with believers is also impt as well. had a simple, nice talk with JX and he sent me some articles to read. found new strength. Knew what am i missing and act upon it. I'm still like a baby sometimes. Spiritual growth is intentional. Just like how you need to intentionally brush and floss your teeth to prevent decay. It wasn't that intentional before. I used to be fed well, like a baby. But, part of growing is learning to feed yourself.

Can I just exclaim?
Can I just stand on the mountaintop and shout,
"GOD YOU ARE JUST SO GOOD!!!"

=)

sharon is filled with the JOY of the Lord, even when there are thousands of other reasons to be in negativity, even it's so easy to go into a pity party but sharon holds on to God's promises bcos they are trustworthy, sharon trust in the Lord God Almighty.

I can trust that He has a great future for me. He is still working on me and most of all, He loves me.

sharon is overwhelmed by God's goodness.

i learnt:
"Enoch walked with the Lord" Gen 5:24. What does it means to walk? How can I walk with the Lord? Let me think. How do I walk with a friend? I converse, am connected to the person, am aware of the person's presence. That's how I walked with the Lord! =)

sharon wants to walk with the Lord all the days of her life! =)

i wanna run and swim again! been a couch potato for the longest time ever!
ecp that day was great!
all the captain ball, abit of volleyball, frisbee n rugby.
the best thing was- weather's awesome. like its gonna rain but doesnt rain.
NO SUN AT ALL- YES!
and actually its quite exhilirating to be swung, thrown up and into the sea.
again, again! (sounds like teletubbies. LOL)

someone said i dont have pimples. i have larh, jus that it wasnt as bad as when i was seventeen. i never used facial foam but the outbreak force me to try whatever i can to get rid of those zits. they were all useless. i prayed and my mum bought this pearl powder for me to drink. after awhile, they were gone, totally. and i never used facial foam anymore, I can't. it's not suitable. God knows my skin best =)

today i ran: 1.8km, 15mins

today i read: Num 23:19
"God is not a human, that he should lie, not a human being that he should change his mind. Does he speak and not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
When God told David that he will be king, he hold on to that promise for 21 years before he actually became king.
He brings to pass what he has promised. It is for us to keep believing, keep waiting, keep praying, and keep holding on.
(Abstracts fr you were made for more by jim cymbale n pkc lesson)

It's worth holding on =)

Thank God for everything that has happened in 2008! =)
=THE HIGHLGHTS=
JAN/FEB: Last 1 mth of prcp. So much fun I had with Fiona Wong and our preceptor! Sushi, vivo, ps everyday. LOL! mai dong si, chi dong si... ahhh...
FEB/MAR: Hols!!! mission trip!!! knowing and savouring unconditional love and grace. God is love! His providence for the trip, Jehovah Jireh, My Provider.
APR: Foundation prog- friends I met at foundation prog! It was great! =)
MAY/JUNE/JUL: WELCOME TO THE REAL WORK. It was a huge huge change in my life that I have to adapt. The huge responsibilities, heavy workload, task focused job, long long hrs w no meal breaks (if u cant finish on time), tiring, unfimiliar routine and procedures=mistakes+++=sccooolddiiinngsss++++++... timetable: work, sleep, work, eat (i eat like i cant eat in the next 10hrs), sleep, work... meeting w friends? say hi to your collaugues n they'll be ur friends, i wanna slp! Swim/Jog? Havent i excercise enuff in the ward? Its enuff la, i'm so tired.. church! =) I always have offs on sat! 2 of my friends commented its a miracle. It was a time I'm charged up and ready to work again. God knows I need them badly, esp the 1st few mths of work. Time flies.
AUG: Nice retreat in msia!
SEPT: Managed to meet more ppl w weekdays offs. Havent had sats off in a long while. But I know it's my training ground for me to depend on Him more than anything else. Church bcame a monthly/two thing. God? Not emphasised anywhere anymore. All you hear everyday is, why never feed pt water? why no routine urine? why never take wt? why pt BNO never pass? why never pass temperature chart? why never check pt? why? why? why? tell me why?!?!? Even when you are free/slping, work comes into your mind. oh, i didnt update wound chart, i havent sign off, i didnt check the plugsite, etc. I'm obsessed with being perfect, free from naggings...
OCT/NOV: Then big mistakes occured. No one ever taught me how to do it and dont we all fill in forms ourselves? they ask what, you fill in what right? Follow instructions carefully thats all... uh. okay, so not all forms are idiot proof... Big paperwork error. Big Hoo ha. God came to emphasis again. I asked why. He got my attention. Finally.
NOV/DEC: Nice birthday surprises. Superb YI camp.

Once I was going to but now I left, I left behind my failures, my cycles of negativity, of low self esteem, of self-consciousness. I'm entering a new season of my life, of faith, of boldness, of courage, of trusting in His promise, of God consciousness, of being free.

Just as Paul and Silas were liberated from physical chains when they start to praise and pray, I am liberated from chains of negativity, from troubled and burdened soul when I start to praise and pray this morning. Praise the Lord.

Blessed sharon writes with joy and thankfulness in her heart!

What Can I Do? -Paul Baloche

When I see the beauty of a sunset glory
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me
To be loved
By a God so high

What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
What can I do but praise You
Everyday make everything I do a
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed you to that could not hold you
Now you’re making all things new
By the power
of Your risen life

i am free to dance
i am free to run
i am free to live for you
i am free!

freedom is doing wanna do w/o being bothered by what ppl think.
freedom is not being controlled.

that's why i'm free to dance- i wasnt free to dance in the past... cos i'm afraid of what ppl might think, i was too concerned abt how i might look if i dance this way or that, if i lift my hands to high or if i sway too much? i'm wrapped up in self-consciousness. And the key to be free is being God-centered. Praising and worshipping Him in your ways, from your heart, to Him. That's for singing too. Doesnt really matter if its out of tune, too loud, etc, He hears my heart.

and i'm free to live! Live for Him! If the son set us free, I'm free indeed! And I'm free, free from the slavery of sins! I dont need to say, I dont wanna be rude but I cant control myself, I keep on going back to it. I hate myself. All I need is truth- I'm free to live a righteous life!

I'm most fulfilled and satisfied when I live for God. :) :) :) :)

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
JOY and PEACE
in Christ Jesus!

It's so refreshing to meet God again! I'm like an empty cup coming before God and He literally fills it with overflowing love, joy, peace, courage, boldness, FAITH and enthusiasm! It's like the song: So blessed, I can't contain it! So blessed, I gotta give it away! It comes from the inside out.

today i took the stethescope and listened to my heartbeat and suddenly, i jus felt so in awe of God's creation- His masterpiece. lub dub, lub dub, lub dub... it's jus so amazing larh!

and i love orange too! okay, that's random. :)

After attending Dr Dennis Seow's talk on Dementia, I finally know that I can connect to people having Alzheimer's disease as well! I'm quite elated! Well, all these while, I always feel that I couldnt connect to them and couldnt do much in their lives except cleaning, feeding and preserving their lives as long as possible. I've quite given up hope that they even know what I'm doing- loving them and taking care of them. They always seemed to be in their own world... not until I saw how a severely demented old lady responded to genuine love- someone who's willing to get into their world and be connected to them. It's just so... inspiring.

Thank God for ans my prayers- for teaching me how to love this grp of ppl. May I continue to learn how to love people as much as you loved them, no matter how different they are from me and how difficult it is for me to understand their actions.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes Jesus loves me, for the bible tells me so!

He's got the whole world in His hands!

I really couldnt figure out why certain things happened in life but I'm still trusting in His sovereignty. Perhaps its a reminder for me not to procastinate or to say what i really wanna say and to do what i really wanna do, to just be free. Perhaps it's a reminder to make the full use of every opportunity, of every second that was given to me or probably it's urging me to be focued on the major.

I won't stop
Never gonna stop praising
Everyday You'll be my Number One
Jesus, Jesus,
My Number One!

Kids Camp was fun. I think I enjoyed having the kids on my laps, hugging them and loving them, talking to them and being loved by them. And you know what? I did the very same thing to my Daddy God back home, sat on His lap, allowing Him to hug me, talked to Him, asked Him qns, listening to Him ans my qns and thanking Him for sustaining me (i read my roster wrongly, i thought the first day of camp was my slping day but its not! my 2nd nite was the 1st day of camp! its too last min to say i cant make it, so, i prayed and ask God for strength. He knows all things I'm sure, even my blurness and my mistakes. Anw, The only time i felt sleepy was the few hrs during work. But aft the 1/2 hr "toilet rest", I'm up! I experience Him as my strength and all knowing God! :)

As the sun goes up and it's going back down
No i'll never back down from living for you my God
I'm living the truth my God

As time goes by and the seasons change
No, i'll never change my love for you my God
My hope in you my God
I'm living for you my God

I'm so, so, so, overwhelmed by God's grace and His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
I'm overjoyed. Euphoric, someone said.
High without alcohol!

Jesus, Lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let you go
You've taken me, from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the rock and now I know

I love you,
I need you,
Though my world my fall, I'll never let you go.
My Saviour, My closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end...

Thanks for Your voice of truth!
I'm set free.

:)

REPLIES TO TAGGGS!

Davin: Night shift? Wahaha. My nite shift is from 9pm-7.30am you sleep so late??
Serena: Thanks! :)
Desmond: Thanks :)
Kam: Thanks, hope to meet you and jiao at nyp. haha. :)
yy: Thanks, nu er! :)
ShiQi: qi, i like it alot. i didnt expect it. i listen to it once i reached hm. N am still reading the book. Thanks so much! :)

I'M TWENTY FIRST! :)



I'm so glad I had AL, I really need rest and retreat.

I like this:
Joey: SO, how old are you this year?
Me: What do you think?
Joey: Nineteen.
Me: HAHAHAHA! THANKS! :)

Maybe bcos I dont dress UP and make UP. Well, but I enjoyed looking younger. It's not fun being an adult afterall. Missed school. Missed long hols and camps. Missed retreats and service. Missed mission trips. I've been making lots of mistakes recently and just felt so lousy. Not only that, I've seen very hypocritical ppl and I'm scared somtimes. I find it hard to trust ppl. And I doubt God just as easily. I really feel so hopeless at work sometimes. How could these ppl believe in true love, in a God who loved them when they are so hypocrite. They would probably think I'm nice so that I can trick them to church or sth. And, sometimes, ppl just don't care. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That's what I'm taught now. "Hey, shuyan, kindness don't pay off" Well, I can't blame them. I realise the world is cruel and full of evil. I know, the bible says so. And some ppl jus experienced it earlier than I do. I grew up in a place full of love, realness, and openness. A place full of grace, and forgiveness. A place where ppl really do care. And i MISSED that place. ALOT. sometimes, i feel like i'm being sucked into the "culture". I get depressed at my own weaknesses. I don't wanna give without loving. I don't wanna cover mistakes which I made. I don't wanna not care anymore. But, I do. I'm so dissapionted with myself and I think I dissapointed God too. I really dunno how to "survive" being a light in the darkness. I feel that my lamp is flickering. And I'm sad, admist all my happiness.

I cried to God on my 21st birthday in my secret.

AND I am really happy as well, I really didnt know I would be so happy to have surprises. I've always thought it's like any other day. There's no need to celebrate. I only wanted to save those ppl I know would celebrate for me the time and effort of planning and brainstorming. so, I organised it myself. But surprises still came. PKC peeps, I really hear your heart behind the surprises. Though I guessed it, but well, it really made my day full of laughter! I've been laughing to myself throughout the journey. And actually, it's quite fun being sabo-ed. that's just nice. Too much will have undesirable effects. And to my nyp classmates, you made me laugh till i cry. i didnt guessed it at all. And I really love it. I love strawberry! And the necklace too. And, the amazing thing is that I really love this year's presents. I'm touched. It's all things that I wanted but cos I don't need them, I jus forget abt them. God remembered. All of you really made my day. Been laughing to myself alot too. HAHAHAHA. HUGS! :)

Thanks for all the wishes and prayers! Seriously, it made my day.

Anw, I really feel I dont deserve it. So often I forgot abt ppl's birthday, missed their celebrations for some reasons. And often had to wish ppl belated birthday. I'm probably not a very good friend to ppl but I have very good friends. I'm blessed!

And for those who forgot or didnt say happy birthday, it's okay! I always do... don't go on a guilt trip. What matters most is the friendship.

Anw, there are still ppl i wanna meet up with.

God, revived again my heart today to love YOU and people.

Dance, sing, play, work, love, think, in my secret...
Let my only audience be You- My Dad, my King, my beloved, my friend :)

Odie: :) i'm okay with Daddy! i'm blessed with Him!
Kamsiah: i want to go nyp! :)
Eileen Ong: MEET UP! :)
jincheng: i will. :)
serena: ok, linked. :)
zarifah: love you! :)
christina: my friend uploaded in my fb. :)

Expectations.
It's sth i'm trying to meet everyday
Reasonable, unreasonable, possible, impossible.

So what if...
i dont,
i missed it,
i failed?

who do i hear?

People
Self or
GOD.

Now I see why it all happened. The harsh words from ppl. It made me realise who am I really listening to all these while. Whoose words is it that really mattered to me most. I listened again, it wasn't Daddy's voice. He reminded me to hear Him.

I'm fine now, in fact, I AM JOYFUL! :)

HEY thanks KAMSIAH, ODIE and SUIYING!

I have lots to say to you but am tired physically.
Gotta clear my messy house abit too.
And get back on track.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

=)

Anyone has the song first love?
It goes like:

My first love, forever You will be
My first breathe, You're the life in me...

and i forgot. but it ever ministered to me so deeply.
Yes, the time when He said, "i love you, i love you, i love..."

TOUCHED*

ANW, got a song to share. it's called Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin. How true are the lyrics... how true. Jus read and ponder.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus:
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

On a lighter note, had fun today at 5Cs. I enjoyed the unity, teamwork, collaboration and how we worked hard to beat records, fixing rojak puzzles and passing balls. HA! reminds me of st johns camps, overnight prayer, OBS! I think it's so smart of them to come up with games with a lesson behind. We did a cheer at the end. A funny and entertaining one. Enjoyed spending quality time too. And today it's with yajing at orchad. Lastly, buffet @ fumara- Fun with camera, food and of cos PEOPLE! I wouldn't pay for food, I wouldn't pay for camera but it's worth it for ppl... forget abt entertainment. I don't really fancy movies, kbox, clubbing, neoprints, buffet, shopping, chalets (ok, at least this is fun) but if I can understand another person better through all these then it's all worth it. (FYI: activities I fancy are swimming, running, walking, cooking, singing, play the guitar and cycling. that's it for now) One reason why I chose nursing is bcos its ppl orientated. My fav subjects at NYP then was DE social sciences. I admired social science lecturers. I enjoyed their lectures the most since year 1. I think they are wise. I think my NYPCCC leaders are wise too. They listen, then ask the right qns, and they just got the right words to say. You never felt like you are being judged. I desire to be like them. The only temptation then will be pride. OK, let's move back to reality. Right now, my prayers are: If I'm tempted to be task focused, help me choose to see my patients/collaugues as God's precious. If I'm tempted to envy, help me to be contented with what I have and to see His overflowing blessings. If am tempted to be self-centred, help me to be God-centered. And in time, never let pride hold me but fill me with His love and humility. Another secret desire I had... hahaha. don't laught k... is... to really know how to play the piano. I've been sitting on my dreams la. But it's not my priority now... so I'll continue to sit.

Sorry for the long chunk. I know its wordy, ppl are complaining but I get carried away. it's okay la, next time when I'm old I can read and re read and remember the days. right? Then I won't have early dementia! HAHAHA!

I enjoy the life that God has given me and I will treasure this time that I have.

I'm glad God allowed me to be junior most of the time. I can bring pts to shower, change their diapers, feed them, pour them a glass of water, cut their nails, doing a dressing, apply moisturising cream, smile at them, sayang them. That itself is such a great privilege for me to let God's love flow thru me. However, sometimes, being an in charge is inevitable. But, I hope I can spend minimal time on papers n tasks... pray that i'll work faster?

I'm glad also to have met up with my frrriennndds! Haha! God really blessed our meeting up! It's also a time when I got closer and more bonded to some girls at foundation programme. HEE! Thank God for the time.

Thank God for my collaugues too! Why are they always so so so funny? HAHAHAHA! It's really an interesting place to work in.

And thank God, He provided ALL I needed as I learnt to trust Him in my finances. Well, He provided more than just basic necessities. He provided my wants too! Like chocolates! I never thought my parents would buy choc for us.

Thank God, even as I see little yellow flowers on the way to work. It jus show how creative God can be. God's creations are beautiful and that means you and me too!

Thank God for surprises that makes life full of wonder. I saw xiao wanlin and weiguang at outram mrt! And then athens too!! He brought diff ppl into my life in he most unexpected circumstances!!

And I'm glad that He woke me up twice just in time for work. I haven't been late so far in these 5 months.

Thank God for sleep! Enough of sleep!
Psalms 127:2
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Thank God for the time with Him. And I sing... "I wouldn't change a thing, for there is nth else that last. I've been truly blessed, everyday I spent (with You) have been my best."

=)