"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector."
Matthew 18:15-17, NLT
Speak the truth IN LOVE, with much wisdom and discernment from God
"The first thing to be said about this is, it’s THE formula for ending backbiting and gossip.
Most people are too cowardly to confront someone who has offended them face to face, so instead of dealing with the problem head on, they just gossip to all their friends about it. It creates an undercurrent of conflict and dissension that becomes impossible to stop.
If you follow Matthew 18, this never happens. Also, if other people follow Matthew 18, you don’t get blindsided when you hear 3rd hand that you hurt somebody’s feelings. The person tells you directly and you’re able to respond to it. It’s surprising how often such things are trivial misunderstandings that are no big deal when they’re nipped in the bud."
Source: http://www.perrymarshall.com/articles/religion/no-more-mister-nice-guy/
What does it mean to treat someone as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector?
Matthew 18:17 in The Message says it well. "If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love."
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