Today, I understood

I think talking to ppl really helped me a great deal, often in coming up with my own solutions and today, knowing myself better. it's a great to have someone just listen and acknowledge. it's a bonus to have the listener ask the right qns, respond wisely and appropriately. to have a listener is very rare, what more, the latter? I thank God.

i'm often confused (and searching)
why does my personality fluctuate so much when i'm with diff grps?
who am I really?
what did God made me to be?

today, I understood.

I saw a trend: i'm extroverted when I feel accepted. introverted when I don't feel accepted.

• to ppl in st johns, campus crusade and adv dip, i'm a spontaneous idealist
• to ppl at work, pkc, i'm a dreamy idealist
• in a new environment, I tend to be a dreamy idealist until I feel accepted. then, i'll mutate into my most enjoyable role- spontaneous idealist. =))

it is no wonder I feel accepted in st johns, campus crusade and adv dip too, these groups consists of a lot of idealist too, take a look at their cause:

• st johns- for the service of mankind
• campus crusade- movements everywhere so that everyone know someone who truly follow Jesus
• adv dip- gerontology (caring for the older adults)

we all want to make this world a better place.

only in these groups could I spontaneously come up with games/some fun activities/conversation topics/jokes/antics/ideas that these group of ppl will enjoy and will like.

whereas in pkc and work,
i'm surrounded by realists. they see things as it is now. not what it could be. therefore, they must have seen me as a dreamy idealist- someone who'd prefer to be alone and leave me alone and all the more I don't feel accepted and never could have mutated to my most enjoyable role.

anw, my spontaneous topics/ideas/games/jokes/antics will be very way off with these grp of ppl so I can't be very spontaneous also. they seemed rather judgemental and critical, so all the more the games planned should be carefully thought of. Though I don't fully enjoy myself with this grp of peeps but what kept me going was bcos i'm an idealist. hahaha. I see what they could become... =))

well, somehow, I appreciate independent thinkers. they got a balanced view of both worlds. =))