hello i'm back!!!

haha. do continue to keep my team in prayer. they'll be there till 12th oct! I'll just summarise things that impacted me the most...

Day 1:
I'm so indeed grateful God brought me through the preparations and stuff. It wasn't easy but God was faithful as He'd promised. He will provide. You just have to listen to His voice, obey, trust and go. I remembered at the spore airport, one malaysian girl forgt to bring her student card (which she needs) and she has to go thru all the procedures. We keep throwing in solutions initially but we were reminded by a staff to pray. After praying, everything was ok! We should have started praying earlier. It was an impt lesson. In the plane, we played "Big 2". Was really fun! My friend said sth that strucks me, "You gotta get rid of all the smaller cards in order to win". It reminded me of a verse, "let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares..." Heb 12:1-2. Ha. The smaller cards are just like the sin. Anyway, after we touched down in bangkok, we couldn't find the liason person. I prayed with another girl and the man appeared in front of us! That's what God taught me- to put Him first. He also added more faith and trust in me!

Day 2:
Today, God showed me that it is only He who could change and touch hearts, not how good speaker/teacher am I. I was at a lost cos I feel I'm not good enough to guide a girl along in the role of prayer & worship I/C so I prayed and trusted her into God's hands. I got my desire to intercede through my last mission trip at charis (if u r interested, u can ask me) after God added me so much faith! I do not know how to go about spreading this desire. She shared with me how she did not have the desire to pray but how much she wanted it. I prayed for her. Today, she spoke sth tt touched my heart deeply. While we were having worship, she saw 2 construction workers outside our hotel offering insence. Her voice was filled with compassion as she prayed for the 2 men. I was so touched bcos I know God is doing a work in her life and changing her heart to be more sensitive, loving, compassionate and prayerful. I was soooo excited!

In the afternoon, we had personal retreat. It was a time to rest & relax in God. God showed me that there were too many things between me and Him, though they were good... things like church, ministry, people... i'm too focused on good works that drains me to spend personal time with Him. Often I find myself not spending time with Him cos I need to sleep. I find myself always tired... Then He brought me to a verse, "My soul find rest in God alone" Ps. 62:1. I realize that He wants to restore me, to transform me, to give me grace and give me strength to love others along the way. Only He can satisfy my soul, my inner most... the emptiness that no one knows...

Then, at night, we went to the palladium to give out bibles to the chinese tourist. Dark clouds formed and it started to drizzle. We prayed that God hold back the rain so we could continue His work. He did! The rain stopped and we continued.

Back to the hotel... err super budget one. We had a blackout. At first I was a lil disamyed cos I was halfway thru washing my clothes! I prayed, "God please let the lights come again but if this is Your will, let Your will be done." I remembered God always has a plan for allowing certain things to happen. Anyway, I didn't give it much thought. I just told God that I trust Him... His ways are always higher than mine. Was on our way to lobby so we would have the light to read our bibles. (as I was walking, God reminded me of how Paul was locked up in the prison and he still praised God and then the metal bars in the prison were opened! I remembered, "give thanks in all circumstances" so I sang praise songs to Him along the way) Little did I know, God just impressed upon my roommate's heart to be sensitive and reminded her that ministry starts everywhere. We made friends with this particular chinese tourist. We could have missed this opportunity if God hadn't place that sensitiveness, that reminder, that prompting and even the boldness in my friend's heart. Glad she obeyed all the promptings in her heart. After we finished talking to her, the lights went on! We learnt that she'll be leaving the next day's morning and guessed what? So happened that the both of us (not the whole team) were on lobby ministry the next morning, which means both of us will be seeing her tommorow again! Isn't it too much of a coincidence? We made her a card, spend some time with God and slept.

Day 3:
Indeed, my roommate saw her and passed the card to her. We made friends with a group of americans from tenasee who's also on missions. I was so encouraged by their faith to come to a totally foreign land where they couldn't even speak thai nor chi, yet I could see the love and compassion for those ppl that overcomes their fear. But God saw them thru. I ended up as a translator b/w English and Mandarin. Ha. It was fun! I think the chinese tourist felt the love that we had for them, that's why they were open and willing to share. Of course there were some who were skeptical, just like how it happened in the book of acts. "some had doubts" Anyway, those who were opened exchanged contact and took photos! Really enjoyed the time.

Today during devotion, something struck me. You know, it would be so easy for God to come to earth and show everyone the nails and holes in His hands. In that way, everyone would believe in Him. Why doesn't He does that? It is because God loves human so much that He wants to use us and mould us. He wants us to be part of His plan. God has chosen us to witness for Him, though it is a more difficult path. I can picture that because even though sometimes I think I could do it better and it would be so much easier if I did it alone but I would allow others in my planning (esp my juniors) cos I want them to learn. I choose to trust them even though there might be a possibility that they might not do it properly. I'm more interested in the growing process, their character development rather than the outcome. I think it's the same for God. And He's better. Haha. He even promised us that our weaknesses are made perfect in His strength! Of course, I can never comphrehen God but that's just part of Him I've learnt.

God continue to answer my prayers throughout- the rain stopped. ppl recieved. He gave me strength with the little sleep I had (I would probably stone but I was still alert and praying.) And He gave me the joy that blots out the tiredness!

Day 4
We went to United Christian Ministries in thailand, pattaya. We had worshiped in the languages of all ppl that were represented there- Thais, Americans and Singaporeans. The song leader was a thai. God just lead us to a wonderful time of worship. I saw and felt how God had unite us with the love of God. I was so touched and encouraged by the work He's doing in thailand. They even had ministries reaching out to the prostitutes so that even they could experience God's love and be changed and transformed! Then we had a wonderful time of prayer to pray for the land. We were reminded of this verse, "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 Chron 7:14. Really enjoyed the fellowship with my fellow bros and sis in Christ. Nothing could seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

We were at the pier again praying and giving out bibles. I saw jellyfish! Wow, wonderful creation! Today, a few things that saddens my heart though... one. ppl who rejected God's word. two. one of my teammates rejected my gummy pizza (she meant it for good la). haha. oh, but she gave me a big hug after tt. :) :) :). haha. Well, I think God's heart is even sadder. As I spent time with Him the next morning, He gave me such a great burden to pray for the couple I saw at the pier. Now I understand why Nehmiah fasted, mourned and prayed for the sins of his people. I didn't fast though. I just cried and prayed. I couldn't describe that burden... but after praying, I felt release.

Day 5:
We went to the slums today to give out food and spread God's love. We had a skit, song and one of our teammate shared her testimony of how God changed her life. (you can ask for mine if you want) I'm very touched cos God didn't forget these ppl at all. They lived in literally a house that's made of wood and nails that rain could seep through. Their playground is only sand/mud. Yet God still reached out His loving hands to them. At that point, we really prayed for the love of God to overwhelm us. Amazingly, we really didn't mind them at all. We shook hands and hugged them. Neither dirt, tattoos or the fierce looks hindered us! Oh, I saw a really CUTE baby! I carried him, and he laughed at one of my teammates "peek-a-boo!!!" Along the way, we played games like, "say SILK 10 times" then, "what do cows drink?". Naturally they'd say "MILK" haha. It struck me that things we feed ourselves with eg. the things we see, watch, hear, even out thoughts, will natually come out in speech/actions. I was really stunned at the lessons I got from like anything? haha.

Oh, it was only today that I knew that the dancers walking past us every night where transexuals. They looked so pretty, like barbie doll... perfect figure. perhaps better than girls. But I also learn that there is a story behind everyone who chooses this line. Well, do pray for them that they would find love and security in God... God doesn't look at the outside. He looks at the inside- our hearts.

Day 6:
This is the day God really convicts my heart through his tender reminder. Though God was doing many wonderful things, I realised that as days goes by, I began to get less excited. It gets so routine. God will surely ans our prayers. Sometimes, I even forgot to pray. I took His blessings for granted. But today God really struck me hard (not literally). The passage was in Acts 5:1-11 on how Ananias lied to the Holy Spirit. They lied that they have given all their possesions but in fact they had kept some. Earlier the passage it says that the believers shared all things so they could probably be pressurized to do so and to save face, they lied. He convicts me that my heart isnt pure. My heart doesn't match my words/actions sometimes. I may be pressurized to be spiritual outwardly, doing the work and stuff but it doesn't match my heart that's no longer excited. I do things by my own strength and not by the power of the Holy Spirit subsequently. God reminded me that only He could give me the excitement, so I needed to continually depend on Him and ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit. God also brought to remembrance the different situations that my heart isnt pure, like when I worship/jumped/serve in ministry. Thank God for His grace is sufficient for me! He reminded me that He sees my heart ultimately. My actions should be based on the outflow of the Holy Spirit that is in me and the close relationship I had with God. I confessed and asked God for a pure & tender heart that desires to please God and feel what God feels.

Day 7:
I do enjoy the time spent with the team, esp my roommate! God placed everyone of them for a purpose. To Christine, Staff I/C, for her concerns and listening ear, enjoyed sharing with you, also gain much insights. To Mylene, Staff, for praying with me. I learnt lots from her. To be really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. To remain tender and pure at heart. Samuel, TL, a caring person, who's wise and confident at making decisions and sharings. Quite daring and unexpected. Whoa. treated his mortal so NICE! Elsa, ATL, fun-loving person that really cares for each one of us too. haha... i love her massage. Whoa... superb! better than the thai massage. haha. it was really fun with her! Eileen, Treasurer cum Admin, one who brought joy & laughter! LOL. She was forfieted to eat crikets. YUCKS! haha. oh my dear angel. Thanks for all the bookmarks, cards, chocs & encouragements. It comes when I needed them! Yanxiang, Logistics, one who has much to say but I really enjoyed listening and there gain insights! Lily, P&W I/C, oh my i'm so encouraged by u!!! God is indeed working in ur life. Thanks for sharing about ur fears and past. I'm so glad u r free from it now. Su Yi, Welfare, my dearest DG!! Haha... I'm so encouraged and suprised by the card u wrote on the last day... I think u've grown and I believe God will cont to work in ur life! Sara, Reporter, oh dear girl. I love ur child-likeliness!!! haha. enjoyed praying with u too for u always sees the heart of God. so pure... and u r really CUTE and SWEET and i love ur BIG HUGS!! :)

It was fun hanging out with the team! went shopping... not enuff time I think. Then went beach. Coconut was YUMMY! The wind was nice, the sky was beautiful. Nice place to sleep I think. haha. Then went to this lady's house for dinner. A very nice lady. She gave me a bear (I'll tell u the story if I had the time)! The thing I rem was her hug. Oh, that hug really made me cry (I held back my tears though) and don't feel like going back to spore. I'll miss her. Oh and I'll miss sue's team from tenasee, rob, tommy, kathy, marilyn... they taught me a v. cool HI-5! And there's dave who speaks fluent thai and shoot rubberbands at us. haha. I'm impressed with mark- this caucasian who can speak chi so fluently and he's with so much joy and love for the people!

Then, we went back to the hotel, my roommate and I were so thirsty, we drank and the water tasted so nice! Somehow, it struck me about the hearts of the ppl. When ppl are really thirsty and hungry for God's word/love, they will find it sweet. But when they're hearts do not desire God, they will not find it sweet.

Anyway, I truly, sincerely miss them all!!!

Oh last but not least, thank God for His faithfulness in answering prayers. He hold back the rain every night for us to give out the bibles!!

Day 8:
I learnt sth today also, even though I'm going home. I realise that I'm too focus on sleeping in the cab that I close up myself to God's promptings. All that's in my mind was sleep, sleep and sleep. But my roommate was once again open to God's voice and sensitive. She prayed for the taxi driver. Wow. Yupp. So amazing, God spoke to me even when I'm going home.

Oh I love the food in thai, phad thai, papaya salad, green curry, tom yum, morning glory, mee soup, beef noodles. i love everything i ate. haha. and i love the ppl there, so nice, polite and gentle... i love the "sawadeeka" and their "kok koon kha". sounds so nice! hahaha. Then I learnt, "phra yesu rak khoon mak mak!" :) i love the beach, the wind and the coconut!! :)