replies to tags
Eddison: thanks for your well wishes and "compliment"! :)
charlie-ge: yo mortal. it's been really great having you in the team too! had so much fun with your great game ideas, programme and leading. i rem i LOL-ed playing blind mice cos of you and Jason (such a big person squeezing under the small table and chair, another squeezing into the small cupboard under the tv). besides the fun, i realised you've got such a tender heart for God and ppl. and like what bing always said, caring. *nods nods nods* i agree! Gd example to follow after. Continue to allow Christ life to flow thru you no matter where you are! (John 15:16). God is with you even at your boring workplace. keke. He knows exactly how you feel. :)
Louis: you've got internet connection? Anw, thanks. I am doing well. Lately there's so much hype and fun and crazy moments with my friends but beyond all that, I thank God more for the quiet moments where the Holy Spirit worked deep in my heart. Though there's many things that I feel I shouldnt do but did or should do but did not, all in all, I thank God for the godly sorrow that leads to repentance. Still I rejoice in the hope that He who had started a good work in me will carry on till the day of completion. (Phil 1:6) :) And that was the very same verse I text you. I really believe so for you as much as for me. I'm so amazed by the things you went thru, your family, struggles and all, each time God brought you thru, changing and moulding you. Even during the trip too. And there may be more to come (1 Peter 4:12). As much as you learnt from God, God made me learnt so much through your life too. Above all, His glory is unveiled through you, through me and the team. For when we are weak, He is strong! Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4) :)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
reply to sam:
I missed alot of things leh. I missed talking to you, the very heartfelt, deep, honest sharings between you, me and God just before we sleep. The confessions. The accountability. HAHAHA. I missed the prasie and worship together, esp the time when we sang, "how can i keep from singing Your praise, how can i ever say enough, how amazing is Your love", the times when I hear you sing, "Whenever I feel down, when everything seems wrong, such times, i feel i just can't go on anymore, when I remind myself of Him, He who can take away my cares, Jesus thanks for the faith I now have in you, Lord..." Our first reaction of the smelly toufu, kekeke and the delicous cuttlefish. And the funniest thing. The many, many times when we laughed out loud when yongjie thought his angel is you and louis thought his angel is me, the times of looking at the ladybird together, taking photo at the dangerous place which louis is so anxious of when you sat there. Our fav quiet place, bamboo shoot but later it was too cold we changed it to the milk tea shop. The times when we dance Never Give Up at the flagpole cos there was no one there. The times when we were washing clothes and praying together. Rap-walking with you, seeing the frog and laughing, feeling the wind thru our faces. Reminding each other to bring key and hp. HAHA. Experiencing the "unique" toilet. Buddy, I really missed you.
I missed alot of things leh. I missed talking to you, the very heartfelt, deep, honest sharings between you, me and God just before we sleep. The confessions. The accountability. HAHAHA. I missed the prasie and worship together, esp the time when we sang, "how can i keep from singing Your praise, how can i ever say enough, how amazing is Your love", the times when I hear you sing, "Whenever I feel down, when everything seems wrong, such times, i feel i just can't go on anymore, when I remind myself of Him, He who can take away my cares, Jesus thanks for the faith I now have in you, Lord..." Our first reaction of the smelly toufu, kekeke and the delicous cuttlefish. And the funniest thing. The many, many times when we laughed out loud when yongjie thought his angel is you and louis thought his angel is me, the times of looking at the ladybird together, taking photo at the dangerous place which louis is so anxious of when you sat there. Our fav quiet place, bamboo shoot but later it was too cold we changed it to the milk tea shop. The times when we dance Never Give Up at the flagpole cos there was no one there. The times when we were washing clothes and praying together. Rap-walking with you, seeing the frog and laughing, feeling the wind thru our faces. Reminding each other to bring key and hp. HAHA. Experiencing the "unique" toilet. Buddy, I really missed you.
Women are like Macs and men are like PCs. I feel that's a generalisation. Somtimes, i felt like a PC, just can't multi-task well. Keke. It's a random thought when I thought of opening to many windows- blog, email, msn, i accidentally closed a few and gonna re sign in again.
ok highlight, highlights-
NYP crusade chalet! Keke.
FUN! tiring. enlightening... let me tell you why.
Played "sardines". It felt like a hide and seek though.
ok, the real *highlight* is...
i'm bitten by an BIG, HUMONGOUS ANT! I freaked out.
I felt that the pain was worse then blood taking.
There it stinged. There I screamed.
I didnt even dare to take the insect out of my flesh cos I'm afaid that it will sting my hand too. The insect was unflickable (there's no such word, i think but it's used to describe sth that's stuck on you despite furiously trying to shake it off).
Just screamed. and shake. I didn't realise how unglam it was at that moment! (I've learnt to laugh when I'm embarrased.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Anw, ivin just removed it. Like it's nothing.
I've realised I've just believed in a lie. How could it sting your hand when you are grabbing the body? It's just an ant, smaller than my pinkie's nail, how could it be so big and humongous? I realised that my fears are irrational, my fears paralyzes me and my fears allow it to continue stinging me. Truth is so important at that moment. Knowing the truth can indeed set me free. The truth is, that I have all power and authority to take that ant off me. The truth is, the ant is so small, compared to me. I could pray all day long just to remove that ant but God has already given me all I need to remove it. I need to realise TRUTH.
I would strongly recommend bondage breaker to everybody. It really exposes many lies and reveals many truth. At first, I thought I wouldnt need it cos I feel my life is not in some kind of bondage (my impression of bondage is like drug addiction or sexual addiction, etc) but after reading the book (my church decided to use this book as a material, because of that, i started to read) I realise I am. I'm subtly believing in lies and in bondage of things seemingly innocent which causes me not to experience real victory and freedom that we should have in Christ. Like, for example when phyiscal rest becomes laziness. Yes. I confessed. Laziness. I always thought I shouldn't do it but before I do it, somehow, there's this voice saying, its ok to sleep more, you need it, you will be more energised when the truth is i only need 8 hours of sleep! And then when I wake up, i know I shouldn't. So I confess. And the same thing happpned again and i go into my sin-confess-sin-confess cycle. That's bondage. I need to reject the lie and use the truth. The greater truth is my identity in Christ. I am no longer slaves of sin because Christ has redeemed me from sin. And the same goes for every beloved child of God. There is victory, there is hope for us who are struggling in bondage. We don't have to anymore. We just need to realise about the truth of who we are. Just like how I have the power and authority to take that ant off me, we have the power and authority in Christ Jesus to renounce the lies that satan put in us. Two men betrayed Jesus but one end up hanging himself cos of the lies that he believed in, the other came back to God because of the truth he believed in. Satan (father of lies) sole purpose is only to steal, kill and destroy. His decietfulness is clearly shown when he tempted Eve, when he tempted, accused and condemned Judah, and today, he is still as decietful as ever, taking away our freedom and victory which rightfully belongs to us, as a child of God.
ok highlight, highlights-
NYP crusade chalet! Keke.
FUN! tiring. enlightening... let me tell you why.
Played "sardines". It felt like a hide and seek though.
ok, the real *highlight* is...
i'm bitten by an BIG, HUMONGOUS ANT! I freaked out.
I felt that the pain was worse then blood taking.
There it stinged. There I screamed.
I didnt even dare to take the insect out of my flesh cos I'm afaid that it will sting my hand too. The insect was unflickable (there's no such word, i think but it's used to describe sth that's stuck on you despite furiously trying to shake it off).
Just screamed. and shake. I didn't realise how unglam it was at that moment! (I've learnt to laugh when I'm embarrased.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Anw, ivin just removed it. Like it's nothing.
I've realised I've just believed in a lie. How could it sting your hand when you are grabbing the body? It's just an ant, smaller than my pinkie's nail, how could it be so big and humongous? I realised that my fears are irrational, my fears paralyzes me and my fears allow it to continue stinging me. Truth is so important at that moment. Knowing the truth can indeed set me free. The truth is, that I have all power and authority to take that ant off me. The truth is, the ant is so small, compared to me. I could pray all day long just to remove that ant but God has already given me all I need to remove it. I need to realise TRUTH.
I would strongly recommend bondage breaker to everybody. It really exposes many lies and reveals many truth. At first, I thought I wouldnt need it cos I feel my life is not in some kind of bondage (my impression of bondage is like drug addiction or sexual addiction, etc) but after reading the book (my church decided to use this book as a material, because of that, i started to read) I realise I am. I'm subtly believing in lies and in bondage of things seemingly innocent which causes me not to experience real victory and freedom that we should have in Christ. Like, for example when phyiscal rest becomes laziness. Yes. I confessed. Laziness. I always thought I shouldn't do it but before I do it, somehow, there's this voice saying, its ok to sleep more, you need it, you will be more energised when the truth is i only need 8 hours of sleep! And then when I wake up, i know I shouldn't. So I confess. And the same thing happpned again and i go into my sin-confess-sin-confess cycle. That's bondage. I need to reject the lie and use the truth. The greater truth is my identity in Christ. I am no longer slaves of sin because Christ has redeemed me from sin. And the same goes for every beloved child of God. There is victory, there is hope for us who are struggling in bondage. We don't have to anymore. We just need to realise about the truth of who we are. Just like how I have the power and authority to take that ant off me, we have the power and authority in Christ Jesus to renounce the lies that satan put in us. Two men betrayed Jesus but one end up hanging himself cos of the lies that he believed in, the other came back to God because of the truth he believed in. Satan (father of lies) sole purpose is only to steal, kill and destroy. His decietfulness is clearly shown when he tempted Eve, when he tempted, accused and condemned Judah, and today, he is still as decietful as ever, taking away our freedom and victory which rightfully belongs to us, as a child of God.
Monday, April 07, 2008
replies to tags:
Davin: Praise God! Haha. great to see you at cell! Thanks for being such a great bro to many of us. :)
jp: hey dear sis, you are so very welcome. love you lots :)
sars: it's so great to hear from you again!
jincheng: Yes, yes. It is an exciting journey and I know even when I'm back, it can be still as exciting too! :)
odie: Hee. Thanks!
Today I went for team meeting. I'm so encouraged to be part of the team, to be encouraged and cared for, to hear from the different ones. The last day will always be a great thanksgiving when I remember how God brought us together again. It was just so beautiful to depend on Him to love each other like how Christ would.
I'm sleeping early and want to wake up early too, in prep for work.
Btw, friends, please call my hm no. if you wanna contact me, 67598287. Thanks.
God bless! :)
Davin: Praise God! Haha. great to see you at cell! Thanks for being such a great bro to many of us. :)
jp: hey dear sis, you are so very welcome. love you lots :)
sars: it's so great to hear from you again!
jincheng: Yes, yes. It is an exciting journey and I know even when I'm back, it can be still as exciting too! :)
odie: Hee. Thanks!
Today I went for team meeting. I'm so encouraged to be part of the team, to be encouraged and cared for, to hear from the different ones. The last day will always be a great thanksgiving when I remember how God brought us together again. It was just so beautiful to depend on Him to love each other like how Christ would.
I'm sleeping early and want to wake up early too, in prep for work.
Btw, friends, please call my hm no. if you wanna contact me, 67598287. Thanks.
God bless! :)
Friday, April 04, 2008
Just now I was talking to someone on MSN and he commented that I am a super christian. I would beg to differ and clarify. I am a sinner saved by grace, bought with a price. I am not righteous because I obeyed the law. I am justified by faith. If I am able to be saved by my own works, then it would nullify the power of the cross. The fact is I am not able. It is only because I choose to accept the wonderful gift of salvation to which God had revealed to me. I am accepted, secured, made worthy and righteous by the power of God that I have allowed to work in and through me.
Galatians 5:16-26 (New International Version)
Life by the Spirit
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:16-26 (New International Version)
Life by the Spirit
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Today I went to P. Ubin with Fiona and both of us thought that it would be an awesome place to have a walk with God. The only 2 discomforts was the hot weather and the mosquitoes! Well, I wouldn't mind the resort though. Air-con... yes. :)
While we were heading back, feeling so hot and hungry... all of a sudden i missed strawberry "bing tang hu lu" and the cold weather in china.
But it was a good time getting in touch with God's beautiful creations.
I saw a pic of a chicken in the brochure and thought abt a silly joke back in china.
We were eating dinner one fine day.
A: why is the egg so small? (it was actoally a quail egg)
B: cos the chicken's backside is too small
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
the rest burst out laughing!
While we were heading back, feeling so hot and hungry... all of a sudden i missed strawberry "bing tang hu lu" and the cold weather in china.
But it was a good time getting in touch with God's beautiful creations.
I saw a pic of a chicken in the brochure and thought abt a silly joke back in china.
We were eating dinner one fine day.
A: why is the egg so small? (it was actoally a quail egg)
B: cos the chicken's backside is too small
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
the rest burst out laughing!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
replies to tags:
wanlin: thanks my dearest sis!
miao: i know you may not see this but i'll link you. haha :)
swingg: hi! are you suiying??
odie: heehee! thx for your prayers :) btw, its shu xian is spelt as shu shyan
amanda: glad to hear from you
EILEEN(: I heard abt it and i'm really really proud of you guys!
jo: Yes Jolin... i heard abt it and am glad. BTW, a lil part of me wished i was in p. ubin with you now cos my dinner was cancelled. But another part of me is glad to have time to update my blog. Paradox. keke. nvm.
venod: THANKS! i felt so welcomed!
I see some changes in myself after the trip, in regards to:
speech-
"Keke" (another kind of laughter, it's like haha, heehee)
"Sherr?" (what?)
"Mei sher" (no problem)
"si hong shi" (tomato)
"tu dou" (potato)
eating habits-
using chopsticks to eat rice
loves tomato and egg! LOVES**
loves ma la *salivating*
loves to cook (inspired by lou)
lifestyle-
physical
waking up latest at 9plus AM evey morning
plan and schedule appts, more organised
more aware of time
cooking at home
spending more time at home
be a host and not a guest (taking more initiative)
spiritual
a greater dependance on God
a greater conciosness of God every moment
loves having personal time with God
becoming more aware of my feelings
loves talking to God anytime, anywhere, telling Him deep feelings that I can't even describe or sometimes can't even trace the cause, still, I know God knows what I'm trying to tell Him
loves asking God qns and waiting for His ans
loves reading His word and interceding and seeing Him work, even though somtimes He works in ways I cannot see with my physical eyes but He gave me enough conviction to say that something is happening in the spiritual realm
loves recording whatever happens between me, God and ppl
becoming more focus on things that really matter
able to hear Him clearer
more conscious and aware when i sin or when i'm abt to sin
increase faith in God- childlike faith, asking God anything that I lacked
becoming more real and honest with ppl
becoming more patient, accepting and loving to ppl whom i once find hard to love
desire to walk with God all the rest of my life cos it's just too wonderful
I thank God for His grace that He choose to reveal Himself so, so, so real to me, and the team during the trip. Indeed, His promise is so true, "You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart" (Jer 29:13)
Thank Him that He choose to use us even though we are so weak and unworthy. "for My power is made perfect in your weaknesses" (can't rem the ref)
Thank God that eveytime we fall in sin, He will, by His grace and love, pick us up and make us worthy by the blood of the Lamb. "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness, I have drawn you" (Jer 31:3b)
Thank God for He choose to ans our qns and request. "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for Me?" (Jer 32:37)
Thank God for revealing so much of my sins, dirts, impurities. "No one born of God will continue to in, becuase God seed remain in him; he cannot go on sinning becuase he has been born of God" (1 John 3:9)
Thank God for all the encouragement, assurance, affirmation and REVELATION (really, really learnt alot) "Call to Me, and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know" (Jer 33:3)
Thank God for JOY in the team. "In Christ, there is fullness and JOY" (can't rem the ref)
There are more, so much that God has done in these 28 days. ASK ME! i'll flip my journal and tell you, but we'll probably need an hour so :)
wanlin: thanks my dearest sis!
miao: i know you may not see this but i'll link you. haha :)
swingg: hi! are you suiying??
odie: heehee! thx for your prayers :) btw, its shu xian is spelt as shu shyan
amanda: glad to hear from you
EILEEN(: I heard abt it and i'm really really proud of you guys!
jo: Yes Jolin... i heard abt it and am glad. BTW, a lil part of me wished i was in p. ubin with you now cos my dinner was cancelled. But another part of me is glad to have time to update my blog. Paradox. keke. nvm.
venod: THANKS! i felt so welcomed!
I see some changes in myself after the trip, in regards to:
speech-
"Keke" (another kind of laughter, it's like haha, heehee)
"Sherr?" (what?)
"Mei sher" (no problem)
"si hong shi" (tomato)
"tu dou" (potato)
eating habits-
using chopsticks to eat rice
loves tomato and egg! LOVES**
loves ma la *salivating*
loves to cook (inspired by lou)
lifestyle-
physical
waking up latest at 9plus AM evey morning
plan and schedule appts, more organised
more aware of time
cooking at home
spending more time at home
be a host and not a guest (taking more initiative)
spiritual
a greater dependance on God
a greater conciosness of God every moment
loves having personal time with God
becoming more aware of my feelings
loves talking to God anytime, anywhere, telling Him deep feelings that I can't even describe or sometimes can't even trace the cause, still, I know God knows what I'm trying to tell Him
loves asking God qns and waiting for His ans
loves reading His word and interceding and seeing Him work, even though somtimes He works in ways I cannot see with my physical eyes but He gave me enough conviction to say that something is happening in the spiritual realm
loves recording whatever happens between me, God and ppl
becoming more focus on things that really matter
able to hear Him clearer
more conscious and aware when i sin or when i'm abt to sin
increase faith in God- childlike faith, asking God anything that I lacked
becoming more real and honest with ppl
becoming more patient, accepting and loving to ppl whom i once find hard to love
desire to walk with God all the rest of my life cos it's just too wonderful
I thank God for His grace that He choose to reveal Himself so, so, so real to me, and the team during the trip. Indeed, His promise is so true, "You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart" (Jer 29:13)
Thank Him that He choose to use us even though we are so weak and unworthy. "for My power is made perfect in your weaknesses" (can't rem the ref)
Thank God that eveytime we fall in sin, He will, by His grace and love, pick us up and make us worthy by the blood of the Lamb. "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness, I have drawn you" (Jer 31:3b)
Thank God for He choose to ans our qns and request. "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for Me?" (Jer 32:37)
Thank God for revealing so much of my sins, dirts, impurities. "No one born of God will continue to in, becuase God seed remain in him; he cannot go on sinning becuase he has been born of God" (1 John 3:9)
Thank God for all the encouragement, assurance, affirmation and REVELATION (really, really learnt alot) "Call to Me, and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know" (Jer 33:3)
Thank God for JOY in the team. "In Christ, there is fullness and JOY" (can't rem the ref)
There are more, so much that God has done in these 28 days. ASK ME! i'll flip my journal and tell you, but we'll probably need an hour so :)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hi! I'm at changi airport now! Haha. At first I thought I didn't have time but thank God, I have this priviledge of telling you that we've raised our FULL support alr!!! 100%. $17500!!! It's amazing! Just 23rd we only had 57%, then 25th 87%, today 100% and more. Haha. It's a good start to trust God :) Will update again. Be back on 26th Mar 2125 :) Good night! Thanks for praying everbody! :)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
As I was thinking abt my team's support raising, I thought of George Muller, known to be a man of prayer who obeyed God and having great faith, trusted God for everything. He took God promises for real! One example my staff shared that I remembered vividly was when the orphanage didn't have enough money to buy bread. George Muller prayed and trusted. Sure enough, the doorbell rang and the bread indeed came. And then, as I was teaching in the kids ministry one day, once again, I heard abt him again. A man who prayed for his five friends salvation for his whole life... trusted God for his whole life. 4 friends came to know Christ and 1 came to Christ at his funeral. Curious abt his life, I searched his name using yahoo.com and I found this http://www.ccel.org/ccel/murray/prayer.XXXII.html It was a long article and I'm only half way thru. I placed this link here so I won't lost it and can continue another time when I'm free. As I was reading, I realised how true God's words are, if you are living it out. God's promise of Joshua 1:8 was depicted clearly in his life. Coming back to my team's support, so far, we have around 53% but we need 80% to take our cash advance by 24th feb, if not, we can't go...27% more, which is abt $5k as a team. $5K. I am incapable but I will trust in a capable God. Please pray with us. Thanks. :)
Friday, February 08, 2008
replies to tag:
crystal: happy CNY! :)
zhi ai: miss you! :)
odie: you've been a great encouragement! my hp is still lying at my bedside table. haha, btw, may i know who are you? :)
xue er: dear sis in Christ, so glad to have you in cell grp, i have much to learn from you too. Love talking to you. May you grow in the knowledge of Christ and experience all He has for your life. God loves you! :)
da wanlin: i'm looking forward to work! haha.:)
yueying: haha. i'm using my dad's old hp now. :)
jinping: i'll link you! Great to noe you! :)
Gtim Palacio: i'm sharon yu, not sharon yu po. :)
zw: zhenwen ah, my bestie! would love to see you again! :)
hweepeng: loving you...
venod: thanks! same to you! someone's birthday is coming soon :)
crystal: happy CNY! :)
zhi ai: miss you! :)
odie: you've been a great encouragement! my hp is still lying at my bedside table. haha, btw, may i know who are you? :)
xue er: dear sis in Christ, so glad to have you in cell grp, i have much to learn from you too. Love talking to you. May you grow in the knowledge of Christ and experience all He has for your life. God loves you! :)
da wanlin: i'm looking forward to work! haha.:)
yueying: haha. i'm using my dad's old hp now. :)
jinping: i'll link you! Great to noe you! :)
Gtim Palacio: i'm sharon yu, not sharon yu po. :)
zw: zhenwen ah, my bestie! would love to see you again! :)
hweepeng: loving you...
venod: thanks! same to you! someone's birthday is coming soon :)
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
psalm 23 - bible - psalm of david
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
psalm 23 - bible - psalm of david
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Dear friends,
My very sincere apologies to those who have called/sms my hp without any successful attempts during the past few days. My hp has been very ill and it's proper functions are deterioting. Connection seems to be the biggest issue here- 24 hours without reception. DIL. It may go anytime. My decision is final- DNR. I'll let it go. Indeed, my hp is a loyal and faithful companion for the past few years, to my elder sis and then to me. I remembered how elated I was when I saw it for the very first time. It's with colour! and what marvelous sound it produces. I chose the best colour, the best sound and the best picture for it. I was proud of it cos it belongs to me. It had such great memory that it can helped me remember all my beloved friends no, some wonderful moments in my life, important dates and even the time to wake me up (Though I always silenced it and never woke up). Days, months and years flew past. Slowly, it was scratched and scarred; Faded and old; Neglected and abondoned at times; Lost, once in a while. I couldn't even count the numerous time it fell down, yet it still kept on going, on and on and on... till these recent days. Through all these, I realised how faithful it was. Of course, I know that there will be a time when it will fail me. One day, not only my hp will be gone. All other temporal, physical things will be gone too. At the end of the day what's left? Spritual world and spiritual beings. The spiritual world that is even more real than the world that you are living in- it was here before the universe was created and will be here forever; the God who made you and loved you and all His wonderful angels; the scheming devil and demons to steal, kill and destroy; heaven and hell and your spirit that God has given every human being so we can communicate with Him. But as for now, anything can happen here in this fallen, physical world but whatever it is I know that I can count on God thru eternity. And now is the time for my hp to go. Still, I'm grateful.
"Did I ever tell you how thankful I was to God when each time you dropped but yet survived, each time you were scratched, scarred, faded, neglected, abondoned and even aged- all these and more are still not enough to deter you from serving your purpose and function as a handphone with pride, even to the last of these days. Proud that you have made it thus far. Now, it's time to go. Thanks for just being what you are made to be even in the harshest conditions all the way till now."
And there goes my hp. My PC too- crashed. So, if you need to contact me, please drop me an email at birddie80@hotmail.com. I can check my mail if my bros is not using their PC/laptop or if I go back to NYP. I'll then contact you shortly with my hm phone. Alternatively call my hm phone if you have and rem to leave your name, contact and msg (if it's convenient to) with my mum or whoever that ans. Thanks so much!
Keep in contact, friends! :)
My very sincere apologies to those who have called/sms my hp without any successful attempts during the past few days. My hp has been very ill and it's proper functions are deterioting. Connection seems to be the biggest issue here- 24 hours without reception. DIL. It may go anytime. My decision is final- DNR. I'll let it go. Indeed, my hp is a loyal and faithful companion for the past few years, to my elder sis and then to me. I remembered how elated I was when I saw it for the very first time. It's with colour! and what marvelous sound it produces. I chose the best colour, the best sound and the best picture for it. I was proud of it cos it belongs to me. It had such great memory that it can helped me remember all my beloved friends no, some wonderful moments in my life, important dates and even the time to wake me up (Though I always silenced it and never woke up). Days, months and years flew past. Slowly, it was scratched and scarred; Faded and old; Neglected and abondoned at times; Lost, once in a while. I couldn't even count the numerous time it fell down, yet it still kept on going, on and on and on... till these recent days. Through all these, I realised how faithful it was. Of course, I know that there will be a time when it will fail me. One day, not only my hp will be gone. All other temporal, physical things will be gone too. At the end of the day what's left? Spritual world and spiritual beings. The spiritual world that is even more real than the world that you are living in- it was here before the universe was created and will be here forever; the God who made you and loved you and all His wonderful angels; the scheming devil and demons to steal, kill and destroy; heaven and hell and your spirit that God has given every human being so we can communicate with Him. But as for now, anything can happen here in this fallen, physical world but whatever it is I know that I can count on God thru eternity. And now is the time for my hp to go. Still, I'm grateful.
"Did I ever tell you how thankful I was to God when each time you dropped but yet survived, each time you were scratched, scarred, faded, neglected, abondoned and even aged- all these and more are still not enough to deter you from serving your purpose and function as a handphone with pride, even to the last of these days. Proud that you have made it thus far. Now, it's time to go. Thanks for just being what you are made to be even in the harshest conditions all the way till now."
And there goes my hp. My PC too- crashed. So, if you need to contact me, please drop me an email at birddie80@hotmail.com. I can check my mail if my bros is not using their PC/laptop or if I go back to NYP. I'll then contact you shortly with my hm phone. Alternatively call my hm phone if you have and rem to leave your name, contact and msg (if it's convenient to) with my mum or whoever that ans. Thanks so much!
Keep in contact, friends! :)
Saturday, January 05, 2008
As I called DWL today and she asked me how was my day... I thought today nothing much had happened until I learnt to give thanks, realising that everything happened was for a purpose.
Thank God for DWL time on the phone. I realised how we need each other. It's linked! You can't get closer to God w/o ppl and you can't get closer to ppl w/o God. I learnt that in a book i'm reading recently. I guess God not only gives theory lessons but also many platforms for practical lessons thru ppl. So next time when I learnt something, I know I will have the opportunity to apply it. Anw, we were not made to be a loner. That's how we are created. God didn't stopped at Adam. He created Eve bcos He said it's not good for man to be alone. :) No wonder Paul urges us not to give up meeting one another as some are in the habit of doing so, but spur one another on as you see the day approaching. and DWL i've linked you. muacks.
Thank God for Fiona, enjoyed her company and really appreciate the love that she'd poured out on me. Haha, though she will never admit that she love me! gnor still orh lei! And the very useful and unique designer's edition planner designed by Fiona Wong! Makes me motivated to plan my day!
Thank God for PKC and SMAD that i hv an opportunity and privilege to serve God. Daddy is great! I know He'll guide me! And pull me out of the water when I sink, though I pray that I wont! Still, all things works for the good of those who loved Him.
Thank God for the planner which Adeline gave me that has verses on it. It reminded me of Jesus- the exact representation of God (as stated in the Bible) and it reminded me to be like Him! "The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life, a ransom for many." Mark 10:45 "For the Son of man has come to seek and to save the lost" Luke 19:10
Thank God for the time to do RT (Resistance Training) and also Eddison for checking on me to continue to take good care of what God has given me- my body. He's really an expert in Sports and Wellness. YEAH! I don't wanna lose weight anymore, I want a have a healthy lifestyle because I wanna live for God everyday! :)
Looking forward to the coming days ahead with God and ppl- gym with Fazila and Fiona, PD meet, swimming with Su Yi and solitude with Fiona. WOOHOO!
God is real! I have learnt to exclaim this with great faith and conviction as He reveal more of Himself to me day by day. (Ask me 4 years ago, i'd prob not tell you I'm a Christian unless you ask.) Perhaps, somtimes you are like me who rushed thru the day without noticing God. Take time to think. I'm sure there are many instances when you exclaimed thank God but there are also many times you don't realise it's God. Like when you survived thru an accident, someone brought you comfort in your sorrows, when you are hungry, someone fed you or even the simplest of all, the oxygen that He's created for you to survive. :) Nothing happened by chance. He's always drawing ppl to Him. He pursues you with an everlasting love. We are created to know Him, to have a r/s with Him and to be loved by Him. It is irreplacable. No achievement, wealth or even any other human relationship can fill the void because only God's love is complete. So often we find ourselves loving another person because they are nice, pretty, handsome, lovable, funny, humourous, make us smile, pitiful, needy, increases our reputation, or ego, making us like we are kind or good ppl, or mayb to gain salvation which cannot be gained by works or mayb because we need them or can't live without them, etc. This is loving based on conditions. Somtimes we strive so hard to be loved by ppl too. God's love, on the other hand is unconditional. He loves you the way you are! Big or small, tall or short- just the way you are. :)
LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
God is the complete expression of love. He will never fail you.
He's lovin you! Click and see! (rem to on the speakers! Don't rush thru k, take time to listen- the very words of God) :)
Because His love is so deep, so wide, you cannot contain it. It will overflow into the lives of others. Find out what motivates Mother Teresa to do what she do, the Koreans who choose to risk their lives to provide medical aid, or the Sinagporean ganster turned pastor. It's because they've experienced the complete love that no human can give.
Read more true stories [click here] that are much closer to our hearts becauase they are students! like us! and they struggles with real issues that adults seldom talk to us abt.
Thank God for DWL time on the phone. I realised how we need each other. It's linked! You can't get closer to God w/o ppl and you can't get closer to ppl w/o God. I learnt that in a book i'm reading recently. I guess God not only gives theory lessons but also many platforms for practical lessons thru ppl. So next time when I learnt something, I know I will have the opportunity to apply it. Anw, we were not made to be a loner. That's how we are created. God didn't stopped at Adam. He created Eve bcos He said it's not good for man to be alone. :) No wonder Paul urges us not to give up meeting one another as some are in the habit of doing so, but spur one another on as you see the day approaching. and DWL i've linked you. muacks.
Thank God for Fiona, enjoyed her company and really appreciate the love that she'd poured out on me. Haha, though she will never admit that she love me! gnor still orh lei! And the very useful and unique designer's edition planner designed by Fiona Wong! Makes me motivated to plan my day!
Thank God for PKC and SMAD that i hv an opportunity and privilege to serve God. Daddy is great! I know He'll guide me! And pull me out of the water when I sink, though I pray that I wont! Still, all things works for the good of those who loved Him.
Thank God for the planner which Adeline gave me that has verses on it. It reminded me of Jesus- the exact representation of God (as stated in the Bible) and it reminded me to be like Him! "The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life, a ransom for many." Mark 10:45 "For the Son of man has come to seek and to save the lost" Luke 19:10
Thank God for the time to do RT (Resistance Training) and also Eddison for checking on me to continue to take good care of what God has given me- my body. He's really an expert in Sports and Wellness. YEAH! I don't wanna lose weight anymore, I want a have a healthy lifestyle because I wanna live for God everyday! :)
Looking forward to the coming days ahead with God and ppl- gym with Fazila and Fiona, PD meet, swimming with Su Yi and solitude with Fiona. WOOHOO!
God is real! I have learnt to exclaim this with great faith and conviction as He reveal more of Himself to me day by day. (Ask me 4 years ago, i'd prob not tell you I'm a Christian unless you ask.) Perhaps, somtimes you are like me who rushed thru the day without noticing God. Take time to think. I'm sure there are many instances when you exclaimed thank God but there are also many times you don't realise it's God. Like when you survived thru an accident, someone brought you comfort in your sorrows, when you are hungry, someone fed you or even the simplest of all, the oxygen that He's created for you to survive. :) Nothing happened by chance. He's always drawing ppl to Him. He pursues you with an everlasting love. We are created to know Him, to have a r/s with Him and to be loved by Him. It is irreplacable. No achievement, wealth or even any other human relationship can fill the void because only God's love is complete. So often we find ourselves loving another person because they are nice, pretty, handsome, lovable, funny, humourous, make us smile, pitiful, needy, increases our reputation, or ego, making us like we are kind or good ppl, or mayb to gain salvation which cannot be gained by works or mayb because we need them or can't live without them, etc. This is loving based on conditions. Somtimes we strive so hard to be loved by ppl too. God's love, on the other hand is unconditional. He loves you the way you are! Big or small, tall or short- just the way you are. :)
LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
God is the complete expression of love. He will never fail you.
He's lovin you! Click and see! (rem to on the speakers! Don't rush thru k, take time to listen- the very words of God) :)
Because His love is so deep, so wide, you cannot contain it. It will overflow into the lives of others. Find out what motivates Mother Teresa to do what she do, the Koreans who choose to risk their lives to provide medical aid, or the Sinagporean ganster turned pastor. It's because they've experienced the complete love that no human can give.
Read more true stories [click here] that are much closer to our hearts becauase they are students! like us! and they struggles with real issues that adults seldom talk to us abt.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
CASTING CROWNS- Who am I
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Things to thank God for:
1) Metamorphosis 07. Regrets not inviting ppl like Jane ho, James, Crystal earlier cos its jus too good. I was awaken from the lies and set free in God's truth! I realise my life is changed not bcos I had some emotional experiences, etc but my life is changed the day I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. I became a child of the Most High God, Holy, loved, of value and worth, nothing can change those truth. Holy not bcos I am perfect. Holy bcos God chose to sacrifice His Son once and for all so that I can be made right with God. Loved, of value and worth, not bcos i'm truly worthy, of value and deserved to be loved but bcos of God's grace and mercy. It's like an old ragged doll being loved by a little girl. She can't have it away for a single day. When she realised that she left it at home on the way to the airport, the whole trip would be cancelled bcos the girl just wouldn't go. This old ragged doll isn't of much value and worth by itself but was made worthy, of value and loved bcos of the little girl. But, why was I inferior and condenmed even when I accepted Jesus Christ into my life? It was bcos I didn't realised my worth. I was blinded, perhaps decieved by the guy who have came to steal, kill and destroy- you know who, that mr sa tan and missed out on the One who came to give me an abundant life. I was like a frog who turned into a prince yet at times still forgetting that I'm already a prince and going back to my old ways of squatting in the pond and eating flies.
2) Lost my 3 most impt card and almost late for work. At first, I thought it was a bad day yet it re-affirms my convictions. It was of course painful to lose sth precious but one qns struck me- is my cards more impt than God? I realised that it is better to lose the cards than to lose God. My life is not worse because of bad circumstances. My life is worse without God. I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abondoned, struck down but not destroyed. Circumstances will not changed my life, even when the world says that I'm condenmed or doomed for the rest of my life. Because my identity and life is not in the hands of this world but in the hands of God. My life is changed the day I accepted Christ- the day I know He has plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me a future and hope; all things will work for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. Just like Joseph who was sold by his jealous bros to be a slave, in Egypt, wrongly accused, and thrown to jail yet in the end God made him king and saved his family from famine.
3) Able to give and recieve
4) Friends from attachment, christmas party, metamorphosis07, sjab, pd, ytss, nyp. Thank God for the time together.
5) Family. Thank God for the home where I lay my head every night. The food that's so readily available. The little bickerings I had with my younger bro. The co-operation of writing Christmas wishes, the gifts and the love. Even seeing anyone of you at home brings joy.
6) 2008. Felt unprepared. Haven't had the time to reflect and think ahead. Started 08 with catching up with friends, some sleep, then a hilarous and entertaining wedding. Sleep again and finally setting of resolutions. I've decided that this year resolutions- all my decisions, activities and course of actions will revolve around this, no matter what I do:
Aspiration:
To be a Christ-centered, spirit-filled, 100% committed Christ follower, His vessel and laborer that is being immense in God’s love so deeply that His love will overflow out through my life into the lives of others.
Vision:
To see people becoming all that God intended; finding freedom and true identity in Christ.
Mission:
To meet the felt needs of people through Christ love to surface real needs in their lives.
Purpose:
To glorify God and fulfill the Great Commission thru the power of the Holy Spirit
Values:
Based on God’s truth alone
and so I came out with a couple of goals in regards to general, SJ, work, cell, pkc, spiritual and physical.
Also listed a couple of strength, weaknesses, opportunities and threats (SWOT) too.
Strength to develop, weaknesses to work on, opportunities to grab and threats to pray about.
One prominent weakness I see in myself last year was that I lose focus/distracted/give up easily. Do keep me in prayer, encourage me and keep me accountable in this area ok? Thanks all my bro and sis in Christ family. You have truly been a blessing in my life! :)
7) Another sis in Christ i met on the bus from Indoneisa. I see God working in the lives of many others from all over the world. It is exciting.
8) For a little girl that I got to talk to and play games with. I know she's beloved in God's eyes and mine.
9) Sleep and rest. Being refreshed for the new year.
1) Metamorphosis 07. Regrets not inviting ppl like Jane ho, James, Crystal earlier cos its jus too good. I was awaken from the lies and set free in God's truth! I realise my life is changed not bcos I had some emotional experiences, etc but my life is changed the day I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. I became a child of the Most High God, Holy, loved, of value and worth, nothing can change those truth. Holy not bcos I am perfect. Holy bcos God chose to sacrifice His Son once and for all so that I can be made right with God. Loved, of value and worth, not bcos i'm truly worthy, of value and deserved to be loved but bcos of God's grace and mercy. It's like an old ragged doll being loved by a little girl. She can't have it away for a single day. When she realised that she left it at home on the way to the airport, the whole trip would be cancelled bcos the girl just wouldn't go. This old ragged doll isn't of much value and worth by itself but was made worthy, of value and loved bcos of the little girl. But, why was I inferior and condenmed even when I accepted Jesus Christ into my life? It was bcos I didn't realised my worth. I was blinded, perhaps decieved by the guy who have came to steal, kill and destroy- you know who, that mr sa tan and missed out on the One who came to give me an abundant life. I was like a frog who turned into a prince yet at times still forgetting that I'm already a prince and going back to my old ways of squatting in the pond and eating flies.
2) Lost my 3 most impt card and almost late for work. At first, I thought it was a bad day yet it re-affirms my convictions. It was of course painful to lose sth precious but one qns struck me- is my cards more impt than God? I realised that it is better to lose the cards than to lose God. My life is not worse because of bad circumstances. My life is worse without God. I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abondoned, struck down but not destroyed. Circumstances will not changed my life, even when the world says that I'm condenmed or doomed for the rest of my life. Because my identity and life is not in the hands of this world but in the hands of God. My life is changed the day I accepted Christ- the day I know He has plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me a future and hope; all things will work for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. Just like Joseph who was sold by his jealous bros to be a slave, in Egypt, wrongly accused, and thrown to jail yet in the end God made him king and saved his family from famine.
3) Able to give and recieve
4) Friends from attachment, christmas party, metamorphosis07, sjab, pd, ytss, nyp. Thank God for the time together.
5) Family. Thank God for the home where I lay my head every night. The food that's so readily available. The little bickerings I had with my younger bro. The co-operation of writing Christmas wishes, the gifts and the love. Even seeing anyone of you at home brings joy.
6) 2008. Felt unprepared. Haven't had the time to reflect and think ahead. Started 08 with catching up with friends, some sleep, then a hilarous and entertaining wedding. Sleep again and finally setting of resolutions. I've decided that this year resolutions- all my decisions, activities and course of actions will revolve around this, no matter what I do:
Aspiration:
To be a Christ-centered, spirit-filled, 100% committed Christ follower, His vessel and laborer that is being immense in God’s love so deeply that His love will overflow out through my life into the lives of others.
Vision:
To see people becoming all that God intended; finding freedom and true identity in Christ.
Mission:
To meet the felt needs of people through Christ love to surface real needs in their lives.
Purpose:
To glorify God and fulfill the Great Commission thru the power of the Holy Spirit
Values:
Based on God’s truth alone
and so I came out with a couple of goals in regards to general, SJ, work, cell, pkc, spiritual and physical.
Also listed a couple of strength, weaknesses, opportunities and threats (SWOT) too.
Strength to develop, weaknesses to work on, opportunities to grab and threats to pray about.
One prominent weakness I see in myself last year was that I lose focus/distracted/give up easily. Do keep me in prayer, encourage me and keep me accountable in this area ok? Thanks all my bro and sis in Christ family. You have truly been a blessing in my life! :)
7) Another sis in Christ i met on the bus from Indoneisa. I see God working in the lives of many others from all over the world. It is exciting.
8) For a little girl that I got to talk to and play games with. I know she's beloved in God's eyes and mine.
9) Sleep and rest. Being refreshed for the new year.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I thought I would just pen down my thoughts regarding the attachement I had so far so I can accurately keep track of those thoughts and feelings while they are still fresh least they become bits and pieces here and there resulting in a what-did-i-do-on-the-first-week syndrome that need much time to be sorted out at the end of the 3 months. Yes, and here it goes.
I had a much overwhelming orientation on the 12, 13, 14 of november. At the end of it, I just wondered if I could pass this posting. Well, you see, every new day is like a fresh day for me to do my best yet on the 2nd day of orientation I thought I'd just give up after the drug calculations in which I admit I was a little slow in. While I'm still doing section A, they are already at section B and before my answers were out, ppl are already furiously solving the next questions. And more information came. Tubes of different colour meant for different oh-so-unfamiliar specimens. The numbers, the protocols, the procedure. There wasn't any notes, you gotta COPY yourself! So, you'll stare at this form with miserably tiny words and you wonder if you could remember all that was said about it. You wished you could get the slides but sad to say, no. There's so much to comment, still, i would say orientation is much needed, where people set their expectations and made things clear right from the start. Where we are exposed to see and know things we've never seen for the past 2 and a half years? and we are suppose to master them within these 3 months? It's a mental preperation too. Ha. I do appreciate them (the training department in SGH). At least when my preceptor asked me, "Have you seen this?". "Err... Yea, sort of... at orientation." Haha.
I thank God for a very nice preceptor and also clinical instructor! Approachable and willing to teach are qualities that defines them. I was guided patiently, step by step, even when I'm slow and asked lots of questions. I knew they could do it so much faster if they were to handle it themselves but I appreciate that they left the case to us. My lecturer, though only came to say "Hi!" gave me such a motherly and nice feeling. I'm slowly progressing from junior to taking a case. I like the idea of preceptorship, the idea of mentoring and grooming people which lacks so much when we were in our previous attachments. I remembered nodding away when my friends from overseas attachment told me about how they each have a staff nurse in charge of them and guiding them through. That is how it should be for all our attachments and not just during our final attachment. (well, maybe manpower is an issue here :s).
Mentors, like what Helen Lowerie Marshell tiltled her poem with is a people grower. They need to have the ability to see potential in people, are tolerant with mistakes in order to see the potential develop, flexibility in responding to people and circumstances, patience, knowing that time and experience are needed for development, persepective, having vision and ability to see down the road and suggest the next steps that a mentee needs, gifts and abilities that build up and encourage others, timely words of counsel and insight, and finally resources such as letters, articles, books, etc. Tim Elmor have insightfully then picked up these qualities through Paul and Barnabas in the Bible that I am still developing as God allows me to, training me wherever I am. I do have a very good mentor in campus crusade. A women who was and still is willing to be used by God to invest in my life and many others too. I just give thanks to God for her.
Yes and back to my attachemnt. Well, junior work isn't a problem. Having done it countless times, I took it on fearlessly and joyfully. Fearlessly because I'm confident enough to do it alone and joyfully because it's just such a joy to meet the needs of others. While all these are happening, I'm still waiting to do skills like insertion of NG tube, cathetherisation, tracheostomy suctioning, etc which I had learnt in school but didnt had by any chance to practice in clinicals. Confidence comes by experience and I can't imagine myself being a staff nurse without doing all these on a real person. And that's not the only problem though. As mentioned earlier I was given a case to take charge of. The thing about morning shift is I didnt have time to take my case that I was in charge of due to the never ending junior work BUT thankfully my preceptor was still kind enough to wait till almost 12pm when I was more settled and taught me how to do discharge (by right changes should be done before 11am). *BIG SIGH* Now, I'm thinking: "How am I gonna take 17 cases at the end of 3 months?"
Sides...
Well, attended an in-service training on the topic, "normal ageing." The thing that struck me was just a comment by the speaker when she says, "so often we tend to attend to the things that is more urgent than the things that really matters to us" How true! More urgent things are often our work, responsibilities, studies, etc that screams for our attention everyday. And what is it that really matters to us? Think about it, if you had only 3 days left on earth, what would you do? That would probably be the very things that matters, the very things that we treasure deep in our hearts. For most people, it is spending time with our loved ones. Who would want to earn anymore or study anymore? So have you been thinking about what have you been doing with your life? When 2006 is gone, did you ever asked yourself what have you been doing? And then 2007 comes and pass, you carry on with your routine. And then again you wondered, what have you been doing in 2007? Time flies you would say and start another year of routine in 2008. Have you ever really wondered why are you on earth in the first place? If so, ask the creator. As how Lance Lambert wrote "Therein is revealed the wisdom that, without the Lord, if we do not see what the purpose of God is, if we do not see what the burden on God's heart is, it is vanity, vanity, all is vanity. You might as well, eat drink, and be merry because tommorow you are going to die anyway. There is no great point to living. Do not be too righteous and do not be too bad because you are going to die anyway. Useless, useless, all is useless." But when you read Songs of Song and discover God's heart in which he desired union and communion with His own. Suddenly it is no longer vanity, vanity, all is vanity. The whole of your life, circumstances and situations are of much value and of relations in God's plans and purpose. There is something the Lord wants to do with us, something He wants to do in us. It is no longer emptiness, emptiness, all is emptiness. It is fulness, fulness, all is fulness; purposefulness, purposefulness, all is purposefulness. You won't know when you have another day. What is it that really matters? When everything else can be gone, even people can one moment be here and gone the next, so what is it that matters here on earth?
I had a much overwhelming orientation on the 12, 13, 14 of november. At the end of it, I just wondered if I could pass this posting. Well, you see, every new day is like a fresh day for me to do my best yet on the 2nd day of orientation I thought I'd just give up after the drug calculations in which I admit I was a little slow in. While I'm still doing section A, they are already at section B and before my answers were out, ppl are already furiously solving the next questions. And more information came. Tubes of different colour meant for different oh-so-unfamiliar specimens. The numbers, the protocols, the procedure. There wasn't any notes, you gotta COPY yourself! So, you'll stare at this form with miserably tiny words and you wonder if you could remember all that was said about it. You wished you could get the slides but sad to say, no. There's so much to comment, still, i would say orientation is much needed, where people set their expectations and made things clear right from the start. Where we are exposed to see and know things we've never seen for the past 2 and a half years? and we are suppose to master them within these 3 months? It's a mental preperation too. Ha. I do appreciate them (the training department in SGH). At least when my preceptor asked me, "Have you seen this?". "Err... Yea, sort of... at orientation." Haha.
I thank God for a very nice preceptor and also clinical instructor! Approachable and willing to teach are qualities that defines them. I was guided patiently, step by step, even when I'm slow and asked lots of questions. I knew they could do it so much faster if they were to handle it themselves but I appreciate that they left the case to us. My lecturer, though only came to say "Hi!" gave me such a motherly and nice feeling. I'm slowly progressing from junior to taking a case. I like the idea of preceptorship, the idea of mentoring and grooming people which lacks so much when we were in our previous attachments. I remembered nodding away when my friends from overseas attachment told me about how they each have a staff nurse in charge of them and guiding them through. That is how it should be for all our attachments and not just during our final attachment. (well, maybe manpower is an issue here :s).
Mentors, like what Helen Lowerie Marshell tiltled her poem with is a people grower. They need to have the ability to see potential in people, are tolerant with mistakes in order to see the potential develop, flexibility in responding to people and circumstances, patience, knowing that time and experience are needed for development, persepective, having vision and ability to see down the road and suggest the next steps that a mentee needs, gifts and abilities that build up and encourage others, timely words of counsel and insight, and finally resources such as letters, articles, books, etc. Tim Elmor have insightfully then picked up these qualities through Paul and Barnabas in the Bible that I am still developing as God allows me to, training me wherever I am. I do have a very good mentor in campus crusade. A women who was and still is willing to be used by God to invest in my life and many others too. I just give thanks to God for her.
Yes and back to my attachemnt. Well, junior work isn't a problem. Having done it countless times, I took it on fearlessly and joyfully. Fearlessly because I'm confident enough to do it alone and joyfully because it's just such a joy to meet the needs of others. While all these are happening, I'm still waiting to do skills like insertion of NG tube, cathetherisation, tracheostomy suctioning, etc which I had learnt in school but didnt had by any chance to practice in clinicals. Confidence comes by experience and I can't imagine myself being a staff nurse without doing all these on a real person. And that's not the only problem though. As mentioned earlier I was given a case to take charge of. The thing about morning shift is I didnt have time to take my case that I was in charge of due to the never ending junior work BUT thankfully my preceptor was still kind enough to wait till almost 12pm when I was more settled and taught me how to do discharge (by right changes should be done before 11am). *BIG SIGH* Now, I'm thinking: "How am I gonna take 17 cases at the end of 3 months?"
Sides...
Well, attended an in-service training on the topic, "normal ageing." The thing that struck me was just a comment by the speaker when she says, "so often we tend to attend to the things that is more urgent than the things that really matters to us" How true! More urgent things are often our work, responsibilities, studies, etc that screams for our attention everyday. And what is it that really matters to us? Think about it, if you had only 3 days left on earth, what would you do? That would probably be the very things that matters, the very things that we treasure deep in our hearts. For most people, it is spending time with our loved ones. Who would want to earn anymore or study anymore? So have you been thinking about what have you been doing with your life? When 2006 is gone, did you ever asked yourself what have you been doing? And then 2007 comes and pass, you carry on with your routine. And then again you wondered, what have you been doing in 2007? Time flies you would say and start another year of routine in 2008. Have you ever really wondered why are you on earth in the first place? If so, ask the creator. As how Lance Lambert wrote "Therein is revealed the wisdom that, without the Lord, if we do not see what the purpose of God is, if we do not see what the burden on God's heart is, it is vanity, vanity, all is vanity. You might as well, eat drink, and be merry because tommorow you are going to die anyway. There is no great point to living. Do not be too righteous and do not be too bad because you are going to die anyway. Useless, useless, all is useless." But when you read Songs of Song and discover God's heart in which he desired union and communion with His own. Suddenly it is no longer vanity, vanity, all is vanity. The whole of your life, circumstances and situations are of much value and of relations in God's plans and purpose. There is something the Lord wants to do with us, something He wants to do in us. It is no longer emptiness, emptiness, all is emptiness. It is fulness, fulness, all is fulness; purposefulness, purposefulness, all is purposefulness. You won't know when you have another day. What is it that really matters? When everything else can be gone, even people can one moment be here and gone the next, so what is it that matters here on earth?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
To ALL my dearest family and friends. You made me feel so loved thru your thoughts, actions , words and gifts! T_T I thank God for you in my life and I thank you for all your love for me! Love ya SO MUCH! A few more things to add:
1. Never feel that your gift is too small or that you haven't done enuff because you have already given me your biggest gift, love. :)
2. Never feel bad about forgetting my birthday because I'm so often guilty of that. :s Whether you remember or not, you are still my friend and I still love you.
3. Never feel like you have to give me a big, elegant, wonderful, perfect gift because all I need is just something from the bottom of your heart.
Know it or not, YOU ARE ALREADY A SPECIAL GIFT FROM GOD and I thank Him for all of you! :)
Twenty years have come and go
Like running water that quickly flows
Down the river into the streams
Life is still full of dreams
I'd rather not deny the fact when told
Hey you are growing so much old
Because twenty years is so important
Much more than any token
I've learn thru the years
Especially from using my ears
Stronger,
Wiser,
Never like before.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philipians 3:12-14
Sharon, there's a great future ahead of you!
INTO THE TWENTIES... YEA!!!
1. Never feel that your gift is too small or that you haven't done enuff because you have already given me your biggest gift, love. :)
2. Never feel bad about forgetting my birthday because I'm so often guilty of that. :s Whether you remember or not, you are still my friend and I still love you.
3. Never feel like you have to give me a big, elegant, wonderful, perfect gift because all I need is just something from the bottom of your heart.
Know it or not, YOU ARE ALREADY A SPECIAL GIFT FROM GOD and I thank Him for all of you! :)
Twenty years have come and go
Like running water that quickly flows
Down the river into the streams
Life is still full of dreams
I'd rather not deny the fact when told
Hey you are growing so much old
Because twenty years is so important
Much more than any token
I've learn thru the years
Especially from using my ears
Stronger,
Wiser,
Never like before.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philipians 3:12-14
Sharon, there's a great future ahead of you!
INTO THE TWENTIES... YEA!!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
God is good all the time although sometimes i don't understand everything but still, I know He is good and I believe when the time comes, I'll noe. :) I finally understand why God allowed certain things to take place in my life which I can't seemed to understand in the past. All I do was to choose God and trust Him... even though it may seemed foolish to many. I saw myself being tested and trained, growing in character, in perseverence and in hope through it all.
And He always surprises me! Amazing, merciful and faithful... indeed beyond what I've ever thought or imagined! So blessed! :)
Beautiful! :)
www.everystudent.com.sg
And He always surprises me! Amazing, merciful and faithful... indeed beyond what I've ever thought or imagined! So blessed! :)
Beautiful! :)
www.everystudent.com.sg
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
I cant wait to post this!!! i've just watched a v. v. v. nice show on channel U! erm i think it was shown from 8-10pm. it talks abt how much a father loved her daughter (though she was rebellious) and how much her dad (though sissy) went thru, all for love. it could be jus another nice & touching show, but to me, God was pursuing me thru that show. i felt like i've wasted my time today, didnt even felt like praying or reading the word. room so messy, seems like thr's many things to do, so much on my mind... so i jus retreated. dunno what i'm doing, wasting my life away... watching tv! felt so useless. like i didnt do anything productive. But in His love, He told me, "I love you still, for I treat you as my child, not slave. Just look, how an earthly father loves his child... how much more is my love for you..." i didnt do anything to deserve that! He jus pursued me. He noes when I needed encouragement. & now i'm able, once again to enter into His presence. :)
i would like to have that show, if possible.
Recently, I realised how much i loved talking, not in big groups but with smaller circle of friends. i went out with 2 of my classmates. from kbox, toys'r'us (& took a cute pic thru my frens hp) to cartel, to samuel & kevin, to esplanade rooftop- non-stop!
lovely!
I think I need to put my phone on noisy ringtones since its hol if not i'll keep missing calls & replying later & worse, misplacing my hp at home!!! :s
tata! :)
i would like to have that show, if possible.
Recently, I realised how much i loved talking, not in big groups but with smaller circle of friends. i went out with 2 of my classmates. from kbox, toys'r'us (& took a cute pic thru my frens hp) to cartel, to samuel & kevin, to esplanade rooftop- non-stop!
lovely!
I think I need to put my phone on noisy ringtones since its hol if not i'll keep missing calls & replying later & worse, misplacing my hp at home!!! :s
tata! :)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
OT posting
It was an eye opener. Well, the pic above wasnt exactly taken by me. It was searched from the net. Do resembles OT in some sense though. Anyway, didn't too like the thought of surgeons cutting up ppl & seeing all the gross bloody stuff when I first went there. It was later mid-way through the posting where I met nice scrub nurses & surgeons who were willing to share their knowledge & experiences. How hard it was, I later realised, learning all the instruments. My jaw dropped when I saw how the scub nurses passes the instruments so swiftly and accurately without the surgeon opening his mouth. It surely requires the scrub nurse to be far-sighted, focused, alert, clear-minded and procedures must always be at her finger tip. On the other hand, I was in awe of the surgeon's vast knowledge of the human anatomy. He has got to be precise, accurate and clear of what he's doing. One wrong move could be fatal. "This is the internal jugular vein... and here's the ... muscle..." he went, teaching the interested, young surgeon. It was then I was so much more in awe of God who created us from the dust of the ground to be so wonderfully complex. Psalms 139:14 suddenly seemed so real & alive to me! :)
Psalms 139:13-18
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
It was an eye opener. Well, the pic above wasnt exactly taken by me. It was searched from the net. Do resembles OT in some sense though. Anyway, didn't too like the thought of surgeons cutting up ppl & seeing all the gross bloody stuff when I first went there. It was later mid-way through the posting where I met nice scrub nurses & surgeons who were willing to share their knowledge & experiences. How hard it was, I later realised, learning all the instruments. My jaw dropped when I saw how the scub nurses passes the instruments so swiftly and accurately without the surgeon opening his mouth. It surely requires the scrub nurse to be far-sighted, focused, alert, clear-minded and procedures must always be at her finger tip. On the other hand, I was in awe of the surgeon's vast knowledge of the human anatomy. He has got to be precise, accurate and clear of what he's doing. One wrong move could be fatal. "This is the internal jugular vein... and here's the ... muscle..." he went, teaching the interested, young surgeon. It was then I was so much more in awe of God who created us from the dust of the ground to be so wonderfully complex. Psalms 139:14 suddenly seemed so real & alive to me! :)
Psalms 139:13-18
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
Friday, September 21, 2007
I'm so glad it's holidays where I can get rest physically. More than that I have time for things that matters to me most. God and people. As promised I wanted to tell you why the spiritual world is more impt. One, bcos the spiritual world existed first, then God create the physical world. Two, bcos spiritual world is eternal, physical world is temporal. Three, bcos things happen 1st in the spiritual realm then in the physical. Four, bcos we were created to be spiritual beings. As you know, each of us has the soul, body and spirit. The spirit is suppose to be the master where it communicates with God, the soul, as the steward, and the body as the servant, to act in accordance to what the the master says. Yet, many of us, we are living the exact opposite of what God has intended. We allow our body to be the master, our soul, as sth to satisfy our body and what happens to our spirit? Suppressed. It no longer wants to seek God anymore. Isn't this interesting? I do admit that many a times, I live to satisfy my body which more than often leads to a little more sleep, a little more slumber, a little more folding of arms to rest. The word procastination seems nothing new. Gluttony? Not too far away as well. Perahps, it's time for me to have a paradigm shift again. To relook and rethink what am I really here for. Something that's already at the back of my mind, yet I've lost it still. :p
Monday, September 17, 2007
Would like to apologise to many of whom I've missed your calls and delayed my replies. Was having attachment the last 3 weeks straight after exams. Well, though it's only 8 hours of work, I spend additional 3 hours on travel, 1 hour on preperation, another 8 hours for sleep and the other 4 hours... either resting or meeting up with ppl and of course with God. Some other commitments have to be on hold for awhile. I'm glad to have a week break now. My table is piling since exams! My room's in a mess! LOL. Anw, looking back... had very very nice classmates during my poly years. Love them! Had learnt so so so much thru campus crusade too. The ppl thr has been a great source of encouragement, love and support. More imptly, they direct me to the ONE who's always there, created me & loves me from the beginning. HE who can do anything and everything! I was just feeling very meaningless one day when I wake up for attachment. What difference have I made in my patient's lives? I realised this world we live in is so finite. I'm jus merely meeting their physical needs. Then one day they are going to die. I mean we are all gonna die. No matter how much medical knowledge we have, there is still limitations in being able to save a life. No matter how good we are in behavoural science (my fav!), social work or counselling we are still so very limited in helping another individual change to a better person. Looking at the newspaper makes me wonder, why did God even create men? So much death, suicide, destruction and evil in this world. Why do we have to go thru so much since all of us have to die one day? So I prayed that He will show me and that I will make sense of why am I here.
This week's sermon was helpful. :) It talks abt the creation of man. Main reference from Genesis Chap 1 of the Bible. (Btw, I just read a book with evidences that proves the Bible to be an accurate, just like all other history texts. It's good to do some research sometimes.) From Gen 1:26-31 there are 7 reasons why God created men. One, God wants us to have His own image & likeness (Gen 1:26). Not physically. But our every actions are supposedly to be motivated by LOVE, just like HIM. But after the fall of man in Gen 3 when Adam & Eve disobeyed God, their actions are no longer motivated by love but by fear as they hid themselves behind the bush when God walked past the garden that evening (Gen 3:8). Fear causes us to be selfish, jealous and greedy. In Singapore, it is also known as, "kiasu" with "kia" as fear. Heavenly Father will be so happy if we are like Him. It's just like how our earthly father beamed as someone says, "Hey, your son looks like you". Two, God wants us to rule over the earth and excercise our delegated authority (Gen 1:26). Yet, we've lost it by sinning agaisnt God (Gen 3). So often, we went searching for authority and power over other people instead. Also known as power-hungry. Nothing wrong with being a leader. In fact, wise leadership is necessary everywhere. (Prov 11:14). It's just the motives. Do we lead out of love or jus bcos of that position we want to have? We may often seemed justified yet, if we dig deeper, we'll realise how our heart is so deceitful (Prov 16:2). Note the word delegated. God is the boss, not us. Three, God wants us to know Him. It explains why in Genesis 1:26 uses the word, "Us" and "Ourselves" when there is only one God. In Col 1:15, it says God is invinsible. We can't see God physically bcos of His glory. We'll melt. However, God wants us to see Him, know Him and feel Him. So, Jesus became the image of the invinsible God (Heb 1:3). Four, God wants to bless us. In Genesis Chap 1, we can see how God created the whole earth before He created men. It's just like what our daddy & mummy would do. Even before we are born, diapers, room, baby cot/sarong (i slept in this!), clothes, everything we need is prepared for us. Why? Becuase they love us. Five, God wants us to live a fruitful and multiplying life. (Gen 1:28) Does it means giving birth to more babies? In Adam & Eve's time, definately yes because the whole earth consist of only 2 human beings. In John 15:16 (New Testament), the command is repeated. It simply means multiplying godly character in people's lives. Six, God wants us to enjoy His provision (Gen 1:29). That is why His name is also known as Jehovah Jireh, The Lord is my Provider. If you are in His will, He will provide everything you need. Seven, God is pleased with all He had made (Gen 1:31), just like a painter who looks at His work and smiles. In Summary, God loves us.
How did He made human then? He made human from the dust of the ground. (Now I realise why some elements in our body can also be found in the ground, like iron, zinc, potassiom, calcium, sodium... etc. and how mud facial would be beneficial to our skin.) Then He breath into us the breathe of life. And, we became a living person (Gen 2:7). It is the Spirit of God that made us, and His breathe that gave us life. (Job 33:4). When we die, our body goes back to earth and the spirit goes back to God (Ecc 12:7). Our body probably cost less than $30, without the soul and the spirit. It is just dust! An outer covering of the real us. So who is the real you? Our soul. Yet, often we spend the most money on the lowest things in our life. Why did God create us this way? God gave us a Spirit so that we can communicate with Him. The Spirit is God concious. The soul on the other hand is for us to communicate with people. It controls our mind, will & emotions. And then the body is for us to smell, taste & see. 3 in one (1 Thess 5:23). Animals have a soul and a body but they don't have a Spirit. Thus, they are not concious of spirits, be it God or fallen angels, unlike humans. In God's original design, we are suppose to be a spiritual being. The spirit is suppose to be the master, the soul as the steward and the body is suppose to act as a servant. The spirit recieves messages from God and the body is to act upon it. Men fell when we became the opposite of what God intended where the body becomes the master and the soul becomes sth to satisfy the body. The spirit is then suppressed and does not want to seek God anymore (a.k.a carnal man).
Well, that's alot. But knowing this helps me to see what am I made for. It is to enjoy a wonderful relationship with my Creator. Hmmm, I think I'll continue again and tell you more about the function of the spirit and how the spirit world, though in another dimension, is more real than the physical world.
I like how Rick Warren writes in his book, "Purpose-Driven Life": 'If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know its purpose, and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the Creator or the owner's manual could reveal its purpose. You cannot arrive at life's purposes by focusing on yourself. You must began with God, your Creator. You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God- until we understand that, life will never makes sense.' You can study, be successful, make lotsa money, achieve all your goals and still feel empty because you've missed what you are made for.
This week's sermon was helpful. :) It talks abt the creation of man. Main reference from Genesis Chap 1 of the Bible. (Btw, I just read a book with evidences that proves the Bible to be an accurate, just like all other history texts. It's good to do some research sometimes.) From Gen 1:26-31 there are 7 reasons why God created men. One, God wants us to have His own image & likeness (Gen 1:26). Not physically. But our every actions are supposedly to be motivated by LOVE, just like HIM. But after the fall of man in Gen 3 when Adam & Eve disobeyed God, their actions are no longer motivated by love but by fear as they hid themselves behind the bush when God walked past the garden that evening (Gen 3:8). Fear causes us to be selfish, jealous and greedy. In Singapore, it is also known as, "kiasu" with "kia" as fear. Heavenly Father will be so happy if we are like Him. It's just like how our earthly father beamed as someone says, "Hey, your son looks like you". Two, God wants us to rule over the earth and excercise our delegated authority (Gen 1:26). Yet, we've lost it by sinning agaisnt God (Gen 3). So often, we went searching for authority and power over other people instead. Also known as power-hungry. Nothing wrong with being a leader. In fact, wise leadership is necessary everywhere. (Prov 11:14). It's just the motives. Do we lead out of love or jus bcos of that position we want to have? We may often seemed justified yet, if we dig deeper, we'll realise how our heart is so deceitful (Prov 16:2). Note the word delegated. God is the boss, not us. Three, God wants us to know Him. It explains why in Genesis 1:26 uses the word, "Us" and "Ourselves" when there is only one God. In Col 1:15, it says God is invinsible. We can't see God physically bcos of His glory. We'll melt. However, God wants us to see Him, know Him and feel Him. So, Jesus became the image of the invinsible God (Heb 1:3). Four, God wants to bless us. In Genesis Chap 1, we can see how God created the whole earth before He created men. It's just like what our daddy & mummy would do. Even before we are born, diapers, room, baby cot/sarong (i slept in this!), clothes, everything we need is prepared for us. Why? Becuase they love us. Five, God wants us to live a fruitful and multiplying life. (Gen 1:28) Does it means giving birth to more babies? In Adam & Eve's time, definately yes because the whole earth consist of only 2 human beings. In John 15:16 (New Testament), the command is repeated. It simply means multiplying godly character in people's lives. Six, God wants us to enjoy His provision (Gen 1:29). That is why His name is also known as Jehovah Jireh, The Lord is my Provider. If you are in His will, He will provide everything you need. Seven, God is pleased with all He had made (Gen 1:31), just like a painter who looks at His work and smiles. In Summary, God loves us.
How did He made human then? He made human from the dust of the ground. (Now I realise why some elements in our body can also be found in the ground, like iron, zinc, potassiom, calcium, sodium... etc. and how mud facial would be beneficial to our skin.) Then He breath into us the breathe of life. And, we became a living person (Gen 2:7). It is the Spirit of God that made us, and His breathe that gave us life. (Job 33:4). When we die, our body goes back to earth and the spirit goes back to God (Ecc 12:7). Our body probably cost less than $30, without the soul and the spirit. It is just dust! An outer covering of the real us. So who is the real you? Our soul. Yet, often we spend the most money on the lowest things in our life. Why did God create us this way? God gave us a Spirit so that we can communicate with Him. The Spirit is God concious. The soul on the other hand is for us to communicate with people. It controls our mind, will & emotions. And then the body is for us to smell, taste & see. 3 in one (1 Thess 5:23). Animals have a soul and a body but they don't have a Spirit. Thus, they are not concious of spirits, be it God or fallen angels, unlike humans. In God's original design, we are suppose to be a spiritual being. The spirit is suppose to be the master, the soul as the steward and the body is suppose to act as a servant. The spirit recieves messages from God and the body is to act upon it. Men fell when we became the opposite of what God intended where the body becomes the master and the soul becomes sth to satisfy the body. The spirit is then suppressed and does not want to seek God anymore (a.k.a carnal man).
Well, that's alot. But knowing this helps me to see what am I made for. It is to enjoy a wonderful relationship with my Creator. Hmmm, I think I'll continue again and tell you more about the function of the spirit and how the spirit world, though in another dimension, is more real than the physical world.
I like how Rick Warren writes in his book, "Purpose-Driven Life": 'If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know its purpose, and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the Creator or the owner's manual could reveal its purpose. You cannot arrive at life's purposes by focusing on yourself. You must began with God, your Creator. You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God- until we understand that, life will never makes sense.' You can study, be successful, make lotsa money, achieve all your goals and still feel empty because you've missed what you are made for.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Haha. I just smiled when I read my own journal saved in my folder. It reminded me how God provided everything for me and the things I've learnt so much as a young Christian. The excitement I had, etc. Some things I've already forgotten and perhaps taken for granted now.
Some entries from 2006 (in my personal journal)...
31-1-06
God gave me compassion. He saddened my heart upon hearing last week’s sermon, how the world have become. I cried. How insane human can get. Even more so when u turn on the television and hear how innocent teens playing basketball could be slash by someone they don’t know. Life is vulnerable, unpredictable and fragile. We really don’t know when we have another day to live. It reminded me of a dream. A scary one. Dreamt that one of my friend is about to go… and there I am, helpless, anxious, scared cos I haven’t tell her about Jesus. I was so afraid… I really want to see my friends in heaven… I really love them. When I woke up my heart was still pumping fast. As if it was so real. I sms-ed that particular friend the first thing in the morning and glad she’s alright. I want to tell others about Jesus…
17-7-06
There are 3 very evident things that I know God has provided. One, a pass in my BCLS theory test as I have very limited time to study. Two, God provided me with all my needs, in terms of monetary sense. I find this month especially a blessing even when I’m short of cash but willing to give him my 10% plus a lil love offering. God gave me much more. One, mommy now cooks most of my dinner (I could save that $$) and I had my breakfast most of the time at home (in most cases, daddy would buy food home), which I don’t usually have in the past, so now lunch I don’t eat a lot, cos I’m filled at home. Everyday, I’m filled and full. I’m thankful I don’t have to go hungry. I even have extra cash to bless others, like buying loaker, mic birthday present and spending time with my friends at SIAM kitchen and kbox! And on Sat, 15/7/06, Ken decided to give me a lift in his new car. Again, I saved $$. Then that night, Aunty Laura paid for my bro’s and my supper money, which she insisted! Third, I find myself closer with my classmates and I thank God for that! I pray that He’ll continue to work in my classmates heart! Thank You Jesus! There are more thing to thank God for, like I wasn’t late when meeting Ken, the cab came just in time, I wasn’t late when meeting with Xiao Wan Lin to practice the songs and she did a good job with the music, I thank God even for the desire to pray for others and spend time with Him despite my busyness. I thank God!
7-8-06
Amazing!! I found my wallet today!!! Actually when I prayed on 3rd of Aug, God gave me the assurance that I would find my wallet cos I prayed sth like, please let me dream where I’ve placed it. And He did but jus that I forgot the place when I woke up… after that dream I’m so so sure that I’ll find it… but my dad kept asking me to report lost… and so I doubted my dream after finding and gave up. I reported lost. Relating back to Mylene’s experience, once again, He showed me that He have already heard my prayers the moment I prayed and is working on it… but I lose hope and give easily… and when I does that, I didn’t do what He wants but rather what I want… I just thank God for this lesson… for showing Himself real & evident… I know nothing happened by coincidence but all for His wonderful purpose for my life if I’m willing to surrender to Him. I thank God for the lesson learnt.
10-8-06
My mum came into my room and saw my masterlife book with ants and choc. Worse, its on my bed. Thank God if not I’m gonna sleep with ants.
26-8-06
Wanna give thanks again. I thought I would fail my HS2035 but I passed! Am very, very thankful…
Who's the Centre Of Our Lives? (COOL)
Today, I made a decision to be filled with the Spirit. As Eph 5:18 says, 'Do not be drunk with wine which leads to debuachery instead, be filled with the Spirit'.
Actually, for the past few days or even weeks I've been struggling, often times being frustrated in my Christian walk and work. After reading fireseeds from Korea to the world (2 recent fav books- growing deep in God by Edmund Chan and this!), though in awe of God's awesome miracles in Korea, I was also afraid to live a surrendered life. I remember telling God that I want to surrender my life to Him. But, I doubted that commitment. If I were Dr Kim, will I still be able to trust God despite all that have happened? I doubted myself. I doubt that I would be so strong and firm, so persevering and persistant. I was in fact so faithless that fear gripped me partly also cos of some ghost stories that leaves me repeating, 'Jesus' till I fell asleep and even once, left the lights on. I know this shouldn't be a life of a Christian, living in fear and without faith, boldness and courage to trust God. If Christ is truly in me, I will be victorious and able to overcome all things. Though I was faithless, yet deep in me, I yearn to be big spiritual giants like Dr. Kim and Rev. Edmund Chan. Man of faith who trusted God to accomplish big things and God did it through them. But, due to my past, doubts, lack of faith, I am afraid to make another commitment and to allow God to use me.
I know I'm faithless because I looked at myself. I knew my problem already and often times I wanna change. I want to wake up early to pray, I wanted to fast, I wanted to set aside more time for QT, yet time and again, I overslept or failed to do so. Another problem I had is also I depended on the unreliable- feeling instead of the reliable- God's word. I know that, yet I can't seem to get out of it. I just couldn't do what I want to do and it is so demoralising and frustrating. I tried to read more books/articles for encouragement/motivation but I've missed the point.
However, God being gracious again revealed my problem to me. Only God knows what exactly I needed. Basics. It didn't occured to me that it's the basics. I thought I've progressed much more but now, I realise I couldn't progressed further unless I apply my basics. Yes, I've been missing it, I think, for a long while. No wonder, I realised I'm often trying to live a self-rightoues life and failed so easily. And then, I'll go into self-blame. Then, I go into a spiritual high again, then down. Like running in circles, going no where. Much to my shock, the truth tells me that I'm a carnal Christian which I least expceted it! A carnal Christian is someone who recieves Christ but lives in defeat because he trust his own strength to live a Christian life. It's impossible to live out a Christian life without God because the standard is too high, perhaps too Holy to be coming out from the very heart of men! Little did I realise that I forgot about God's love (through asking question like why did He allow Dr. Kim to suffer?), I forgot about God's forgiveness (when I felt guilty), I forgot about God's power (when I fear ghost), I tried to do the right thing but cannot, I had no desire to pray or read the word, I sinned. These are signs of carnility. I was shocked. I heard this before, even taught it before but I guess it is time for me to apply the basics, the foundation again. Probably, I forgot that living a Spirit-filled life is a moment by moment thing and not a one off thing. And how can we be filled? Through spiritual breathing. Confess my sins (exhale) and be filled (inhale) by faith based on His command (Eph 5:18) and promise (1 John 5:13-16). I did that. I don't have a emotional high, neither do I felt like a wind gushing through me or something. But later on, I knew something inside me changed. My thoughts and my perspective. It is easier to do the right things or the things that God wants me to do when I'm filled and empowered by the Holy Spirit!
As much as I yearn to be like the many man of faith and of course, the best example Jesus Christ, Himself, I should no longer look at myself but to God. Only He can reveal visions but even before I can have a vision from God like Dr. Kim, I needed to be Spirit-filled (To be controlled and empowered by God). I did pray about it and I guess God needed to lay the foundations in my life right first.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
Some entries from 2006 (in my personal journal)...
31-1-06
God gave me compassion. He saddened my heart upon hearing last week’s sermon, how the world have become. I cried. How insane human can get. Even more so when u turn on the television and hear how innocent teens playing basketball could be slash by someone they don’t know. Life is vulnerable, unpredictable and fragile. We really don’t know when we have another day to live. It reminded me of a dream. A scary one. Dreamt that one of my friend is about to go… and there I am, helpless, anxious, scared cos I haven’t tell her about Jesus. I was so afraid… I really want to see my friends in heaven… I really love them. When I woke up my heart was still pumping fast. As if it was so real. I sms-ed that particular friend the first thing in the morning and glad she’s alright. I want to tell others about Jesus…
17-7-06
There are 3 very evident things that I know God has provided. One, a pass in my BCLS theory test as I have very limited time to study. Two, God provided me with all my needs, in terms of monetary sense. I find this month especially a blessing even when I’m short of cash but willing to give him my 10% plus a lil love offering. God gave me much more. One, mommy now cooks most of my dinner (I could save that $$) and I had my breakfast most of the time at home (in most cases, daddy would buy food home), which I don’t usually have in the past, so now lunch I don’t eat a lot, cos I’m filled at home. Everyday, I’m filled and full. I’m thankful I don’t have to go hungry. I even have extra cash to bless others, like buying loaker, mic birthday present and spending time with my friends at SIAM kitchen and kbox! And on Sat, 15/7/06, Ken decided to give me a lift in his new car. Again, I saved $$. Then that night, Aunty Laura paid for my bro’s and my supper money, which she insisted! Third, I find myself closer with my classmates and I thank God for that! I pray that He’ll continue to work in my classmates heart! Thank You Jesus! There are more thing to thank God for, like I wasn’t late when meeting Ken, the cab came just in time, I wasn’t late when meeting with Xiao Wan Lin to practice the songs and she did a good job with the music, I thank God even for the desire to pray for others and spend time with Him despite my busyness. I thank God!
7-8-06
Amazing!! I found my wallet today!!! Actually when I prayed on 3rd of Aug, God gave me the assurance that I would find my wallet cos I prayed sth like, please let me dream where I’ve placed it. And He did but jus that I forgot the place when I woke up… after that dream I’m so so sure that I’ll find it… but my dad kept asking me to report lost… and so I doubted my dream after finding and gave up. I reported lost. Relating back to Mylene’s experience, once again, He showed me that He have already heard my prayers the moment I prayed and is working on it… but I lose hope and give easily… and when I does that, I didn’t do what He wants but rather what I want… I just thank God for this lesson… for showing Himself real & evident… I know nothing happened by coincidence but all for His wonderful purpose for my life if I’m willing to surrender to Him. I thank God for the lesson learnt.
10-8-06
My mum came into my room and saw my masterlife book with ants and choc. Worse, its on my bed. Thank God if not I’m gonna sleep with ants.
26-8-06
Wanna give thanks again. I thought I would fail my HS2035 but I passed! Am very, very thankful…
Who's the Centre Of Our Lives? (COOL)
Today, I made a decision to be filled with the Spirit. As Eph 5:18 says, 'Do not be drunk with wine which leads to debuachery instead, be filled with the Spirit'.
Actually, for the past few days or even weeks I've been struggling, often times being frustrated in my Christian walk and work. After reading fireseeds from Korea to the world (2 recent fav books- growing deep in God by Edmund Chan and this!), though in awe of God's awesome miracles in Korea, I was also afraid to live a surrendered life. I remember telling God that I want to surrender my life to Him. But, I doubted that commitment. If I were Dr Kim, will I still be able to trust God despite all that have happened? I doubted myself. I doubt that I would be so strong and firm, so persevering and persistant. I was in fact so faithless that fear gripped me partly also cos of some ghost stories that leaves me repeating, 'Jesus' till I fell asleep and even once, left the lights on. I know this shouldn't be a life of a Christian, living in fear and without faith, boldness and courage to trust God. If Christ is truly in me, I will be victorious and able to overcome all things. Though I was faithless, yet deep in me, I yearn to be big spiritual giants like Dr. Kim and Rev. Edmund Chan. Man of faith who trusted God to accomplish big things and God did it through them. But, due to my past, doubts, lack of faith, I am afraid to make another commitment and to allow God to use me.
I know I'm faithless because I looked at myself. I knew my problem already and often times I wanna change. I want to wake up early to pray, I wanted to fast, I wanted to set aside more time for QT, yet time and again, I overslept or failed to do so. Another problem I had is also I depended on the unreliable- feeling instead of the reliable- God's word. I know that, yet I can't seem to get out of it. I just couldn't do what I want to do and it is so demoralising and frustrating. I tried to read more books/articles for encouragement/motivation but I've missed the point.
However, God being gracious again revealed my problem to me. Only God knows what exactly I needed. Basics. It didn't occured to me that it's the basics. I thought I've progressed much more but now, I realise I couldn't progressed further unless I apply my basics. Yes, I've been missing it, I think, for a long while. No wonder, I realised I'm often trying to live a self-rightoues life and failed so easily. And then, I'll go into self-blame. Then, I go into a spiritual high again, then down. Like running in circles, going no where. Much to my shock, the truth tells me that I'm a carnal Christian which I least expceted it! A carnal Christian is someone who recieves Christ but lives in defeat because he trust his own strength to live a Christian life. It's impossible to live out a Christian life without God because the standard is too high, perhaps too Holy to be coming out from the very heart of men! Little did I realise that I forgot about God's love (through asking question like why did He allow Dr. Kim to suffer?), I forgot about God's forgiveness (when I felt guilty), I forgot about God's power (when I fear ghost), I tried to do the right thing but cannot, I had no desire to pray or read the word, I sinned. These are signs of carnility. I was shocked. I heard this before, even taught it before but I guess it is time for me to apply the basics, the foundation again. Probably, I forgot that living a Spirit-filled life is a moment by moment thing and not a one off thing. And how can we be filled? Through spiritual breathing. Confess my sins (exhale) and be filled (inhale) by faith based on His command (Eph 5:18) and promise (1 John 5:13-16). I did that. I don't have a emotional high, neither do I felt like a wind gushing through me or something. But later on, I knew something inside me changed. My thoughts and my perspective. It is easier to do the right things or the things that God wants me to do when I'm filled and empowered by the Holy Spirit!
As much as I yearn to be like the many man of faith and of course, the best example Jesus Christ, Himself, I should no longer look at myself but to God. Only He can reveal visions but even before I can have a vision from God like Dr. Kim, I needed to be Spirit-filled (To be controlled and empowered by God). I did pray about it and I guess God needed to lay the foundations in my life right first.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i've been really silent and changhow i'm not dead yet k! joy, life been great though thr's ups and downs, and baolong. alright, i'll link you! :)
guess what am i doing now?
*hint* *hint*
the aroma of chicken boiling,
the mess on the floor, newspaper in fact, stacks of them,
the stillness,
the crikets.
*answers*
i'm finding articles (zzzz), cooking, blogging, thinking in the middle of the night!
almost fell asleep finding articles thus i alternate b/w these to keep myself awake. ha!
*update* *update*
many things have happened over the short span of 1 mth. projects, meetings, plannings, humbling, learning, gatherings, friends...
one vivid incident was planning for intercessors united. i really had no idea what to do. knowing my procastinating nature, i forced myself to sit down and start planning one and a half weeks before, i think and think and prayed and think and think... though points came out but yet nothing flows. it goes on for that one whole week until someone graciously lend me this book- Growing deep in God by Edmund Chan. though at the back of my mind i know prayer is important but i never realise my attitude towards this whole planning. if i were to illustrate in a prayer it would goes like this, "God, please help me, i'm stuck! (though i know that i can do it and think of something if there's more time)"
Here is what was written in the book- In the parable in Like 11:5-8, Jesus has a fascinating way of depositing a kernel of spiritual truth within the story. The posture of spiritual porverty, the essential key to prayer, is alluded in Luke 11:6:"...for the friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him." These three words speak deeply to my heart:" I have nothing". Until we are desperate that we have nothing, prayer will remain incidental or , at best, supplemental in our lives- but it will never fundamental. Only when we truly know that "we have nothing" does prayer takes meaning and power"
Though i may seem humble in many ways yet in many ways i thought i can be self-sufficient, often forgetting the fact that the one who gave me breathe is still God, himself. Without God, my world will stop. Honestly, i guess prayer is only supplementary in my life though he has shown me great things accomplished by the power of prayer.
I spent 2 days praying and honoring Him first and slept with peace knowing that all is in His hands. when i woke up again, i wasn't stuck anymore. thoughts just flowed. suddenly i felt so superficial in my knowledge of the God, of the bible and of prayer. i felt that there's so much to learn!
anyway, generally, projects, meetings and gatherings have been really fun! i do really enjoy people! It has been so funnyly fun! as much as i love the joy of a group, i open up more with a one-to-one companion (someone that i feel comfortable to talk to though). I thank God for people who are willing to take the time and walk the extra mile just to talk. Thank you Da Wan Lin & Jason for sending me to the bus stop. Thank You Si yun for all your care and concerns and for waiting, Thank you Jane for accompanying me to draw money today and being asked, "where is the toilet" (hahaha!), thank you Jolin for the wonderful 969 and MRT rides and the walk to school! I thank God too for people who show little gestures of love. Thanks Li Ting for your kisses, Michelle for your book, Shiqi for your keychain, pencil box, and hp strap! Thanks huiping for inviting me to your wedding (congratulations!), Darina for your highlighter and book, Changhow for asking me to run, Thank you binghao for your card, Mylene for your book and your card that so touches my heart, Thanks for loving me, Thanks Christine for your encouragement... I guess there's still many more. Thanks everyone! You are a joy in my life! THANK GOD FOR YOU! :)
guess what am i doing now?
*hint* *hint*
the aroma of chicken boiling,
the mess on the floor, newspaper in fact, stacks of them,
the stillness,
the crikets.
*answers*
i'm finding articles (zzzz), cooking, blogging, thinking in the middle of the night!
almost fell asleep finding articles thus i alternate b/w these to keep myself awake. ha!
*update* *update*
many things have happened over the short span of 1 mth. projects, meetings, plannings, humbling, learning, gatherings, friends...
one vivid incident was planning for intercessors united. i really had no idea what to do. knowing my procastinating nature, i forced myself to sit down and start planning one and a half weeks before, i think and think and prayed and think and think... though points came out but yet nothing flows. it goes on for that one whole week until someone graciously lend me this book- Growing deep in God by Edmund Chan. though at the back of my mind i know prayer is important but i never realise my attitude towards this whole planning. if i were to illustrate in a prayer it would goes like this, "God, please help me, i'm stuck! (though i know that i can do it and think of something if there's more time)"
Here is what was written in the book- In the parable in Like 11:5-8, Jesus has a fascinating way of depositing a kernel of spiritual truth within the story. The posture of spiritual porverty, the essential key to prayer, is alluded in Luke 11:6:"...for the friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him." These three words speak deeply to my heart:" I have nothing". Until we are desperate that we have nothing, prayer will remain incidental or , at best, supplemental in our lives- but it will never fundamental. Only when we truly know that "we have nothing" does prayer takes meaning and power"
Though i may seem humble in many ways yet in many ways i thought i can be self-sufficient, often forgetting the fact that the one who gave me breathe is still God, himself. Without God, my world will stop. Honestly, i guess prayer is only supplementary in my life though he has shown me great things accomplished by the power of prayer.
I spent 2 days praying and honoring Him first and slept with peace knowing that all is in His hands. when i woke up again, i wasn't stuck anymore. thoughts just flowed. suddenly i felt so superficial in my knowledge of the God, of the bible and of prayer. i felt that there's so much to learn!
anyway, generally, projects, meetings and gatherings have been really fun! i do really enjoy people! It has been so funnyly fun! as much as i love the joy of a group, i open up more with a one-to-one companion (someone that i feel comfortable to talk to though). I thank God for people who are willing to take the time and walk the extra mile just to talk. Thank you Da Wan Lin & Jason for sending me to the bus stop. Thank You Si yun for all your care and concerns and for waiting, Thank you Jane for accompanying me to draw money today and being asked, "where is the toilet" (hahaha!), thank you Jolin for the wonderful 969 and MRT rides and the walk to school! I thank God too for people who show little gestures of love. Thanks Li Ting for your kisses, Michelle for your book, Shiqi for your keychain, pencil box, and hp strap! Thanks huiping for inviting me to your wedding (congratulations!), Darina for your highlighter and book, Changhow for asking me to run, Thank you binghao for your card, Mylene for your book and your card that so touches my heart, Thanks for loving me, Thanks Christine for your encouragement... I guess there's still many more. Thanks everyone! You are a joy in my life! THANK GOD FOR YOU! :)
Saturday, June 02, 2007
God is good. I remembered not long ago I was just feeling so dissapointed, feeling so unworthy of such grace that was given to me, feeling like i'm not up to that standard, His glorious perfect standard (i'm far from it still), felt like i've let God down, felt like i'm such a hypocrite and all, felt like i'm still living in my sinful nature and yet i call myself a christian, felt as if i wasn't chosen or called to do what i am doing, felt like i should be a non-christian instead than disgracing God, felt like i've made so much mistakes, felt like i didn't have what it takes to be what i am, felt like i shouldn't even be where i am because trouble is what i give to others, i felt like a nobody, nothing. everyone else seemed to be something except me. was just so down.
But God is really, really very good. He's been patient with me, very patient. He's been patient with all my faithless questions, he's been patient with all the complains, patient with all the tears, well, He's the only person that i can be 100% honest with, patient even when i'm not patient, patient even when i'm not being faithful, and for even, the many, uncoutable mistakes and all the dissapiontments that i've grieved Him with, yet still, I know that day when He reminded me of the truth again, my life was filled with hope and joy. Now, I really understood the verse which says, "know the truth and the truth shall set you free". Yes, free. I felt so much freedom that day. Free from lies and condemnation i've been living with. Footsteps are lighter and you just wanna SING and Praise GOD!
Dear God,
Thank You for the Truth that tells me I am a child of God, a chosen generation, a royal preisthood, set apart. Truth that tells me that nothing can seperate Your love for me, not even my own failures. Truth that tells me that You will never leave me nor forsake me. Truth that tells me that I have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (and why do i still condemn myself?). Truth that tells me it is in my weaknesses that You are made strong. Thanks for showing me that You did not chose the wise, talented, wonderful and perfect people but You chose people only with a willing heart. You who had chosen me already know my weaknesses and my imperfections. I am actually nothing but You made me into something. Thanks for answering my questions one by one, from, "why didn't you ans my prayer?" to, "how can i stand firm in You?". Thanks for reavealing so much of my weaknesses, I'm humbled and am depending on You day by day to overcome my weaknesses. You showed me that You wants me to grow beyond my failures and i'm so thankful for that. Thank You for showing me people who have gone before me, who have ran, persevered and finished the race. Even as I'm holding the baton, help me to persevere too and finish the race, the race of loving ppl the way You do.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
25 HOURS CAMP
It was a wednesday and a thursday. It started without a big bang, yet it ended with such an impact. The first ever camp planned by freshmen! Games was so fun, love the worship and singsiration! I set 3 objectives. Learnt how to so CE, be convicted of sharing Christ and the boldness to do so. haha. training was so very good. I enjoyed gaining new knowledge that is so useful. I pray that I will use it. I saw that in every 1.73 seconds, people die. And many are plunging into the fiery furnace. It just saddens my heart to hear of this young korean buy who shot 30 of his schmates in virginia tech. A boy filled with much hurts, hatred, anger. If only someone would show him how much Christ loved him...
But God is really, really very good. He's been patient with me, very patient. He's been patient with all my faithless questions, he's been patient with all the complains, patient with all the tears, well, He's the only person that i can be 100% honest with, patient even when i'm not patient, patient even when i'm not being faithful, and for even, the many, uncoutable mistakes and all the dissapiontments that i've grieved Him with, yet still, I know that day when He reminded me of the truth again, my life was filled with hope and joy. Now, I really understood the verse which says, "know the truth and the truth shall set you free". Yes, free. I felt so much freedom that day. Free from lies and condemnation i've been living with. Footsteps are lighter and you just wanna SING and Praise GOD!
Dear God,
Thank You for the Truth that tells me I am a child of God, a chosen generation, a royal preisthood, set apart. Truth that tells me that nothing can seperate Your love for me, not even my own failures. Truth that tells me that You will never leave me nor forsake me. Truth that tells me that I have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (and why do i still condemn myself?). Truth that tells me it is in my weaknesses that You are made strong. Thanks for showing me that You did not chose the wise, talented, wonderful and perfect people but You chose people only with a willing heart. You who had chosen me already know my weaknesses and my imperfections. I am actually nothing but You made me into something. Thanks for answering my questions one by one, from, "why didn't you ans my prayer?" to, "how can i stand firm in You?". Thanks for reavealing so much of my weaknesses, I'm humbled and am depending on You day by day to overcome my weaknesses. You showed me that You wants me to grow beyond my failures and i'm so thankful for that. Thank You for showing me people who have gone before me, who have ran, persevered and finished the race. Even as I'm holding the baton, help me to persevere too and finish the race, the race of loving ppl the way You do.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
25 HOURS CAMP
It was a wednesday and a thursday. It started without a big bang, yet it ended with such an impact. The first ever camp planned by freshmen! Games was so fun, love the worship and singsiration! I set 3 objectives. Learnt how to so CE, be convicted of sharing Christ and the boldness to do so. haha. training was so very good. I enjoyed gaining new knowledge that is so useful. I pray that I will use it. I saw that in every 1.73 seconds, people die. And many are plunging into the fiery furnace. It just saddens my heart to hear of this young korean buy who shot 30 of his schmates in virginia tech. A boy filled with much hurts, hatred, anger. If only someone would show him how much Christ loved him...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Sometimes I just felt so dissapointed with myself for being not perfect, for all the weaknesses I see in myself, for trying yet failed. I know everyone makes mistakes but it's not just me but I'm affecting others too. I was rather sorrowful lately, it's something deep that I'm willing to share once I'm ok. I read this, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done." 2 Corinthians 7:10-11. Yes, I thank God for the sorrow. Through my weaknesses that God revealed, I learnt many precious lessons. I learnt that I haven't been firm in what I believed in. Scanning of lanyards for my friends which I thought isn't right bcos 1. it affects their studies. scanning also means i play a part too. 2. i always believed in honesty is the best policy. 3. the 10 commandment says so, "do not lie" but yet I did it. Also, I learnt that i'm not a very initiative person. God reminded of my TL during my first mission trip, how he took the initiative to do things, etc. I learnt again. I did not fulfill my responsibilities. I learnt that it is beyond myself to do all these. For this, I'm more humbled than ever, depending on God more than ever, praying more than ever. Yet, I thank God for all the distress, troubles, sleepless nights because I've learnt from God. I know that the weaknesses that He've shown me is not to condemn me but it really to change and renew me inside out to be the person He wants me to be. I felt that God is really moulding me this year. God revealed to me more of my weaknesses that He wants me to change. He is like the potter, shaping me with His hands, this year even more intense. Though it is not gonna be an easy process, somtimes even stressful and painful but I trust in Him because He saw through the lump of clay which is me and sees my potential. More than a lump of clay, He saw a beautiful vase.
dying, and yet we live on;
sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;
having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:9-10
dying, and yet we live on;
sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;
having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:9-10
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Time is precious and running.
School work is piling, overwhelming.
Stress is rising.
These, I leave it at His feet because He says, "Cast all your cares upon Me because I care for you." 1 Peter 5:70
In God I trust,
because I know that these are things I cannot handle on my own.
When I seek Him, I hear Him. When I trust Him, I experience His awesome power. And all the more, I will praise Him.
Just like how He provides for the birds in the air, I take comfort in Him, Creator of the universe, knowing that He will hold my hand to the very end because He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Indescibable by Chris Tomlin
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing God
Incomparible, unchangable
You see the depth of my heart and you love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
"Yes, and I will ever trust You, amazing God!"
In His love~
School work is piling, overwhelming.
Stress is rising.
These, I leave it at His feet because He says, "Cast all your cares upon Me because I care for you." 1 Peter 5:70
In God I trust,
because I know that these are things I cannot handle on my own.
When I seek Him, I hear Him. When I trust Him, I experience His awesome power. And all the more, I will praise Him.
Just like how He provides for the birds in the air, I take comfort in Him, Creator of the universe, knowing that He will hold my hand to the very end because He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Indescibable by Chris Tomlin
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing God
Incomparible, unchangable
You see the depth of my heart and you love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
"Yes, and I will ever trust You, amazing God!"
In His love~
Sunday, April 22, 2007
haha. its been a week since sch started. well, it seems like time really passes very quickly during the recent break. 3 weeks of st johns and 1 week in china. well, its been really tedious and draining physically, mentatlly, spiritually and emotionally when com training became intensive, adding on, parental objections. well, results wasn't satisfying as well. i placed sj as my priority those weeks instead of God. to look a little positive, the only satisfying thing was i enjoyed my girls very much and became much closer to them thru all these.
anw, when the trip is drawing nearer, i felt unprepared physically, mentatlly, spiritually and emotionally. 24th finished com, had dinner and went home late, was very tired and disheartened, 25th was team meet, 26th packed and 27th dawn flying off? this is my most unprepared trip! didnt even inform most ppl that i'm leaving. i felt very unsettled. i felt like i've been rushing from places to places and haven't quietened down myself before God. i felt faithless and without strength then. felt so far from God. i know i needed God during the trip definately cos it's gonna be a tough one. i felt like i have nth to give the ppl over there. but i'm glad we had team meet on 25th. and i'm glad we prayed for one another.
well, first day was rather tired. wanted to sleep in the hotel when some of the team went to buy some last min stuff but ended up talking most of the time. haha. but i'm glad we did so. i ended up sharing how i was so changed and impacted over the last 2 trips and hearing from another girl how her life was so changed by God too. suddenly, i felt so encouraged by my own sharings as well as from the other girl. i thank God that He reminded me once again how He has been so real in my life before. At once, I realised that even though I left him for my own desires like getting a champ for sj fa com, yet He has never left me and never let me go... no matter how i strayed, He still loved me. Thank God for His unconditional love. i was touched, encouraged and strengthened, knowing that my God is still with me! At this point i was reminded that God doesnt need our service. He is not interested at what we can give (ultimately all we have is His) but He is more interested in our growth. We had dinner at a local missionary's home. Upon entering, we could really feel the love of God in his family, their warmth and sincerity touches our hearts. His wife shared about how God showed them this place that they do not even know and how God led them there. Their hometown was very far from China. They did not wanted to go at first but after much comfirmation from God, they gave up good paying jobs and obeyed God's calling. It was encouraging how they seek God in their decision making process and how God sustained and provided for whatever they needed as they trusted God and looked beyond their uncertainties.
The second day, we travelled around 6-7 hours through unpaved roads, 2800m above sea level, up the mountains into the village. it was like an OSIM (bumpy roads!) ride. but i was amazed at God's creation. i literally exclaimed! i had a singing partner in the van and we hear from one another how our lives were so changed and how we came to know and believed God. i was encouraged by what God has done in her life as well as her family, how she realised her dad was changed after he believed, how her usual symtoms of overseas illness just dissapear during this trip! it was so amazing! occasional stopover for toilet breaks exposed us to some "wow" toilets. no cubicles. only walls at the height of your waist between each squatty. and it had a wow smell. :) anw, upon reaching, we headed for lunch. a late lunch. (hungry!). then, it was the start of our clinic, english classes and hygiene talk. i was helping out at the clinic. but i felt i was very mechanical, like i wasn't really doing it with love but rather bcos it was a task. So that night i thank God for the opportunity to had a long talk with Him one to one, i was really pouring out what was within me and i realised that my heart was hardened. i prayed and ask God to soften my heart again and that His love will flow thru me to the children.
The third day was a diff experience! I felt love for the children. at the same time, i was also burdend bcos they did not know God. The God who created them and loved them for who they are and wants to have a personal relationship with them, the God who can give them life and peace and joy in their spirits and the God who saves. We prayed for them, trusting God to harvest these seeds of love one day. The day passed quickly. We enjoyed their enthusiasm and willingness to learn, even their thankfulness to little gifts we gave them. The docs were great too, patiently, gently, they loved each one of them by their actions. When we were leaving, we heard the kids calling our names and waving from afar. We waved back. My heart melted. We wanted to stay longer but we had to leave. Concurrently there were also some spiritual warefare going on. Some ppl fell sick and some discouraged (this is definately not from God). Of cos, we had our weapons- Prayer. Jesus's name is powerful. Everything was fine again. Thank God! That night we got to hear from another local missionary too. He shared about how he recieved Christ and how his life was changed. Though he had a good paying job too, but he felt that life wasnt satisfying. He shared how God had brought him to a place and how God placed a burden in his heart. As he was sharing with us that burden, many of us cried (girls and guys alike) bcos we felt it in our hearts so strongly too. it couldn't be us, such great compassion filled our hearts. God allowed us to experience His burden for His people. we prayed for them.
Fourth day, after we had finished screening the whole sch, we went to another village. it was a much smaller school so we had much more interactions like playing "eagles catch chicken? (in chi)", asking them to teach us some songs (they are an enthusiastic lot!), table tennis, etc. toilets conditions was worse but we managed to survive.:) we skipped lunch, had energy bars and travelled back to the city. again, 7-8 hours. this time i had cramps. i prayed and sleep. half-asleep. i seemed to be able to hear ppl talking. but when i woke up the pain is gone, totally. back to hotel- sleep.
Fifth. we went to watch panda!!! so so so so so cute! wasnt really fond of them till i see the real ones! haha. took lotsa funny pic. even there, i saw a sunday sch song lyrics printed on a banner, "All things bright and beautiful, all creation big and small, all things wise and wonderful... the Lord God made them all" erm of course the last sentence was replaced with dots. but it was still encouraging, knowing that God is working all around. We had dinner with the local Christians and had an awesome time hearing about how they know God and how their lives was changed. It's amazing how God can even work in a communist country. Some of us went home visit too. A new believer having doubts and doesnt understand y things happened the way it is. i realized that i was very fearful bcos i wasnt fluent in my Chinese language. but i prayed that we will not just sit there and do nth, but God will use us to encourage the ppl there too. by His power and grace, through His Holy Spirit, He used us and gave us the words to say and pray.
Sixth, we attended an international church where we worshipped God together with people around the globe. met a few singaporeans too. we had lunch at the local missionary's house again! we swept the plates clean this time round! we had a little sharing session and even at that place, many of us were touched and we teared again. i could only attribute that to the fact that the spirit of God had softened and moved our hearts because most of us would have hardened our hearts as we grew up but even adults hearts were softened. The team consisted of students from diff campuses as well as working adults, eg, doctors, sociologist, early childhood teacher... it is amazing how we were bonded and united through Christ. i also realised that there are humble, nice docs ard too, very unlike the ones i usually met in the wards. anw, we went to rest and relax after that but its only a few hours and we are back at the airport heading home. no time for dinner too. thank God for snikers bar! haha. the flight food suddenly seems so yummy! :) oh another thing, we bonded with the drivers who drove us ard too and this particular driver whom i'm quite fond of actually gave each and everyone of us a panda bear!!! now i love both panda and pooh!!! haha :)
overall, i'm glad to have the privilege of catching a glimpse of how God is working and moving in china and how He loved the china people too! As much as we give, i felt so much more blessed to recieve so much too. I'm thankful also for the missionaries and local christains in china. usually i would only be able to read about such great lives and testimonies on books but this time i really got to hear from them and see how their lives are changed! i see their surrendered lives and willingness to please God. many people may say that they have sacrificed much but i'm sure that they will say they are so much more blessed and so much richer! just like how i thought i shouldnt have signed up for this trip looking at my schedule but God has blessed me so much more and made me richer as i took this step of faith to trust him! As i touched down in spore, i was physically tired but i spitritually strong in God and emotionally still excited! so, i went thru the first day of attachment on the day i touched down! thank God i went thru it. i thought i would fall asleep or sth.
When i'm back, sad to say, i was caught up with the business of life again. though i'm so much better at organising my time now (cos of this skill i've learnt as a leader in crusade) but i realised i ended up being more task focused than God focused. i didnt wanted it to be this way. i really want to deepen in my relationship with God but sometimes the urgency of things just made me sacrifice the time with God. thank God he made me realised, that when this happens, i missed the whole point of doing what i'm doing. so i decided to talk to God about it. this time he was silent but later he brought me to a verse in Romans 7:14-15, "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." even Paul struggled with his sinful nature. but he showed us why this happens later in Romans 8:5-8, "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." How timely this passage came! It ans my qns! the reason why i do not feel like spending time with God is bcos of my sinful nature or most ppl says, human nature. it made me realised that i am not spirit-filled or not always controlled by the spirit even though i thought i am. it some ways, i am still carnal. so i confessed to God and asked him to change me to really do what the Spirit pleases, that my heart will be so tender towards God and that i will be able feel what He's feeling.
Today i learnt something too, in 1 corinthians 1:26-31"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." I think its so true for me and for many of the christian leaders. we were not some wise, influential ppl at first but God is continually moulding us and making us grow even as we choose to trust him. He gave us so much more than we gave Him. I felt that I've grown so much in thinking, in life, in love, in speech, in skills, in wisdom, in knowledge, in character, in attitudes, in just every area of my life! Recently God has also showed me that I haven't been fully using the things that He have given me. He gave me books and notes and wonderful, helpful friends yet i did not bother to study, except a day before. i've always thought that results is not impt, what matters is relationships and making a diff in ppl's lives, etc. i was active in other ppl's lives. thank God, by His grace, i still mangaed to pass. He has sustained me all these while and made me realised that he placed me here to study in a timely year 3, the critical year! Thank God! He showed me through this mission trip how useful medical knowledge can be. Everything in His plan has a purpose. Even as He has given me so much, I will use them for His glory!
haha... wow i didnt realise it is so late now. i got too excited writing and got carried away! haha...
salute to you if you are able to read this far... haha.
i'm so rich!*
in His love... :)
anw, when the trip is drawing nearer, i felt unprepared physically, mentatlly, spiritually and emotionally. 24th finished com, had dinner and went home late, was very tired and disheartened, 25th was team meet, 26th packed and 27th dawn flying off? this is my most unprepared trip! didnt even inform most ppl that i'm leaving. i felt very unsettled. i felt like i've been rushing from places to places and haven't quietened down myself before God. i felt faithless and without strength then. felt so far from God. i know i needed God during the trip definately cos it's gonna be a tough one. i felt like i have nth to give the ppl over there. but i'm glad we had team meet on 25th. and i'm glad we prayed for one another.
well, first day was rather tired. wanted to sleep in the hotel when some of the team went to buy some last min stuff but ended up talking most of the time. haha. but i'm glad we did so. i ended up sharing how i was so changed and impacted over the last 2 trips and hearing from another girl how her life was so changed by God too. suddenly, i felt so encouraged by my own sharings as well as from the other girl. i thank God that He reminded me once again how He has been so real in my life before. At once, I realised that even though I left him for my own desires like getting a champ for sj fa com, yet He has never left me and never let me go... no matter how i strayed, He still loved me. Thank God for His unconditional love. i was touched, encouraged and strengthened, knowing that my God is still with me! At this point i was reminded that God doesnt need our service. He is not interested at what we can give (ultimately all we have is His) but He is more interested in our growth. We had dinner at a local missionary's home. Upon entering, we could really feel the love of God in his family, their warmth and sincerity touches our hearts. His wife shared about how God showed them this place that they do not even know and how God led them there. Their hometown was very far from China. They did not wanted to go at first but after much comfirmation from God, they gave up good paying jobs and obeyed God's calling. It was encouraging how they seek God in their decision making process and how God sustained and provided for whatever they needed as they trusted God and looked beyond their uncertainties.
The second day, we travelled around 6-7 hours through unpaved roads, 2800m above sea level, up the mountains into the village. it was like an OSIM (bumpy roads!) ride. but i was amazed at God's creation. i literally exclaimed! i had a singing partner in the van and we hear from one another how our lives were so changed and how we came to know and believed God. i was encouraged by what God has done in her life as well as her family, how she realised her dad was changed after he believed, how her usual symtoms of overseas illness just dissapear during this trip! it was so amazing! occasional stopover for toilet breaks exposed us to some "wow" toilets. no cubicles. only walls at the height of your waist between each squatty. and it had a wow smell. :) anw, upon reaching, we headed for lunch. a late lunch. (hungry!). then, it was the start of our clinic, english classes and hygiene talk. i was helping out at the clinic. but i felt i was very mechanical, like i wasn't really doing it with love but rather bcos it was a task. So that night i thank God for the opportunity to had a long talk with Him one to one, i was really pouring out what was within me and i realised that my heart was hardened. i prayed and ask God to soften my heart again and that His love will flow thru me to the children.
The third day was a diff experience! I felt love for the children. at the same time, i was also burdend bcos they did not know God. The God who created them and loved them for who they are and wants to have a personal relationship with them, the God who can give them life and peace and joy in their spirits and the God who saves. We prayed for them, trusting God to harvest these seeds of love one day. The day passed quickly. We enjoyed their enthusiasm and willingness to learn, even their thankfulness to little gifts we gave them. The docs were great too, patiently, gently, they loved each one of them by their actions. When we were leaving, we heard the kids calling our names and waving from afar. We waved back. My heart melted. We wanted to stay longer but we had to leave. Concurrently there were also some spiritual warefare going on. Some ppl fell sick and some discouraged (this is definately not from God). Of cos, we had our weapons- Prayer. Jesus's name is powerful. Everything was fine again. Thank God! That night we got to hear from another local missionary too. He shared about how he recieved Christ and how his life was changed. Though he had a good paying job too, but he felt that life wasnt satisfying. He shared how God had brought him to a place and how God placed a burden in his heart. As he was sharing with us that burden, many of us cried (girls and guys alike) bcos we felt it in our hearts so strongly too. it couldn't be us, such great compassion filled our hearts. God allowed us to experience His burden for His people. we prayed for them.
Fourth day, after we had finished screening the whole sch, we went to another village. it was a much smaller school so we had much more interactions like playing "eagles catch chicken? (in chi)", asking them to teach us some songs (they are an enthusiastic lot!), table tennis, etc. toilets conditions was worse but we managed to survive.:) we skipped lunch, had energy bars and travelled back to the city. again, 7-8 hours. this time i had cramps. i prayed and sleep. half-asleep. i seemed to be able to hear ppl talking. but when i woke up the pain is gone, totally. back to hotel- sleep.
Fifth. we went to watch panda!!! so so so so so cute! wasnt really fond of them till i see the real ones! haha. took lotsa funny pic. even there, i saw a sunday sch song lyrics printed on a banner, "All things bright and beautiful, all creation big and small, all things wise and wonderful... the Lord God made them all" erm of course the last sentence was replaced with dots. but it was still encouraging, knowing that God is working all around. We had dinner with the local Christians and had an awesome time hearing about how they know God and how their lives was changed. It's amazing how God can even work in a communist country. Some of us went home visit too. A new believer having doubts and doesnt understand y things happened the way it is. i realized that i was very fearful bcos i wasnt fluent in my Chinese language. but i prayed that we will not just sit there and do nth, but God will use us to encourage the ppl there too. by His power and grace, through His Holy Spirit, He used us and gave us the words to say and pray.
Sixth, we attended an international church where we worshipped God together with people around the globe. met a few singaporeans too. we had lunch at the local missionary's house again! we swept the plates clean this time round! we had a little sharing session and even at that place, many of us were touched and we teared again. i could only attribute that to the fact that the spirit of God had softened and moved our hearts because most of us would have hardened our hearts as we grew up but even adults hearts were softened. The team consisted of students from diff campuses as well as working adults, eg, doctors, sociologist, early childhood teacher... it is amazing how we were bonded and united through Christ. i also realised that there are humble, nice docs ard too, very unlike the ones i usually met in the wards. anw, we went to rest and relax after that but its only a few hours and we are back at the airport heading home. no time for dinner too. thank God for snikers bar! haha. the flight food suddenly seems so yummy! :) oh another thing, we bonded with the drivers who drove us ard too and this particular driver whom i'm quite fond of actually gave each and everyone of us a panda bear!!! now i love both panda and pooh!!! haha :)
overall, i'm glad to have the privilege of catching a glimpse of how God is working and moving in china and how He loved the china people too! As much as we give, i felt so much more blessed to recieve so much too. I'm thankful also for the missionaries and local christains in china. usually i would only be able to read about such great lives and testimonies on books but this time i really got to hear from them and see how their lives are changed! i see their surrendered lives and willingness to please God. many people may say that they have sacrificed much but i'm sure that they will say they are so much more blessed and so much richer! just like how i thought i shouldnt have signed up for this trip looking at my schedule but God has blessed me so much more and made me richer as i took this step of faith to trust him! As i touched down in spore, i was physically tired but i spitritually strong in God and emotionally still excited! so, i went thru the first day of attachment on the day i touched down! thank God i went thru it. i thought i would fall asleep or sth.
When i'm back, sad to say, i was caught up with the business of life again. though i'm so much better at organising my time now (cos of this skill i've learnt as a leader in crusade) but i realised i ended up being more task focused than God focused. i didnt wanted it to be this way. i really want to deepen in my relationship with God but sometimes the urgency of things just made me sacrifice the time with God. thank God he made me realised, that when this happens, i missed the whole point of doing what i'm doing. so i decided to talk to God about it. this time he was silent but later he brought me to a verse in Romans 7:14-15, "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." even Paul struggled with his sinful nature. but he showed us why this happens later in Romans 8:5-8, "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." How timely this passage came! It ans my qns! the reason why i do not feel like spending time with God is bcos of my sinful nature or most ppl says, human nature. it made me realised that i am not spirit-filled or not always controlled by the spirit even though i thought i am. it some ways, i am still carnal. so i confessed to God and asked him to change me to really do what the Spirit pleases, that my heart will be so tender towards God and that i will be able feel what He's feeling.
Today i learnt something too, in 1 corinthians 1:26-31"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." I think its so true for me and for many of the christian leaders. we were not some wise, influential ppl at first but God is continually moulding us and making us grow even as we choose to trust him. He gave us so much more than we gave Him. I felt that I've grown so much in thinking, in life, in love, in speech, in skills, in wisdom, in knowledge, in character, in attitudes, in just every area of my life! Recently God has also showed me that I haven't been fully using the things that He have given me. He gave me books and notes and wonderful, helpful friends yet i did not bother to study, except a day before. i've always thought that results is not impt, what matters is relationships and making a diff in ppl's lives, etc. i was active in other ppl's lives. thank God, by His grace, i still mangaed to pass. He has sustained me all these while and made me realised that he placed me here to study in a timely year 3, the critical year! Thank God! He showed me through this mission trip how useful medical knowledge can be. Everything in His plan has a purpose. Even as He has given me so much, I will use them for His glory!
haha... wow i didnt realise it is so late now. i got too excited writing and got carried away! haha...
salute to you if you are able to read this far... haha.
i'm so rich!*
in His love... :)
Sunday, April 15, 2007
just been back from a great trip! it was just so awesome being so close to nature! God's awesome creation! so majestic, so marvelous, so indescribable...
The mountains, the stars, the valleys, the waters...
and the pandas too...
(hey enlarge this! "All things bright and beautiful, all creation big and small, all things wise and wonderful... the Lord God made them all! :)" )
it's a wonderful privilege to spread LOVE all around!
to meet different people...
from strangers
to friends
bonded by LOVE
though tired
but happy
each and everyone of us left the place changed and impacted
never like before...
The mountains, the stars, the valleys, the waters...
and the pandas too...
(hey enlarge this! "All things bright and beautiful, all creation big and small, all things wise and wonderful... the Lord God made them all! :)" )
it's a wonderful privilege to spread LOVE all around!
to meet different people...
from strangers
to friends
bonded by LOVE
though tired
but happy
each and everyone of us left the place changed and impacted
never like before...
Monday, March 12, 2007
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