back from chengdu! =)

hi my dear friends, i'm back from chengdu and would like to bless you with a little something as i remember and thank God for the times when your life has been such a great blessing to me.

do choose the gifts you want and whatsapp me the gift number. i'll reserve them for you till we meet again! =)

if there's nothing you want, bu2 yao3 mian2 qiang3 ba4 (don't force yourself). hehe.

#1 earrings

#2 earrings

#3 earrings

#4 facemask

#5 facemask

#6 facemask

#7 facemask

#8 wheat tea

#9 socks

#10 socks

EXPERIENCES:

I was there just to see my sec sch best friend life in chengdu, in which she'll spend 6 years of her life there.

AWESOME CATCHUP
it has been an awesome catch up with her!

EXCITING
it has been an exciting journey cos it's the first time i'm travelling to and fro to a country via air alone.

GOOD FLIGHT
i usually take budget flights so to me, silkair was rather luxurious- food and drinks, red wine, eye shades and many more services.

FUN
had 3 lovable and fun-to-be-with dogs to play with during my stay!
lighting fire crackers and fireworks was also quite a thrilling experience!

LEARNT
hospitality- felt really welcomed and loved by the couple (my best friend and her husband) during the trip. everything was carefully thought of, well planned and prepared for my arrival and enjoyment. i was touched by their hospitality.
there can be freedom and fun in marriage- i used to think that i can't do alot of things that i want to do like mission trips, volunteering etc etc when i'm married but that's not necessarily true. sometimes, it can be better and more fun with a partner doing it together or supporting what you are doing and vice versa.
i guess it's really that someone who's able to see value in the things you value, able to appreciate you, relate to you, grow old with you and vice versa that makes married life so beautiful! =) my best friend's married life is a beautiful example.
charcoal pills and panadol is a must when travelling- medicines you need are not so readily available in stores overseas, even if it's city area.

-okay, end of highlight :p-

God moments

Thank God for ps yvonne to validate and affirmed my feelings in regards to friends

Thank God for good friends in my life!

Thank God for the talk with Grace after btj!
Realised through the life of PI that though my situations sometimes can be harsh and cruel, it also helped me to better use my resources in life! Just like how one cruel experience made PI realised that tiger is not his friend and this realisation has helped both him and the tiger to survive the shipwreck too! You must know how each person you wanna help work in order to better help them, eg, tigers are different from human, and  every human is different too!

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just a quick sharing for my btj mates as well =)

Just a quick testimony. I felt like I was going insane one night! Felt super duper upset! The kind where you feel like dying, like life is just too hard, no point trying, just end it all! I just can't do it! It came on 13/11 night. I'm on my bed, fatigue but can't sleep. Work and people momentarily took away this feeling, but it comes back when i'm alone. I wondered how can Jesus survive in this world? I felt like I can't! Too much guilt and condemnation! Too much of why am I like that? Why am I not able to? I wanted to know how Jesus made it since He's 100% man. So, I started listening matthew on the train, to movie and on the way to btj. As I listened, faith and conviction grew. The part where Jesus scolds His disciples saying you of little faith when they feared the storm. It wasn't a condemning voice but one that says, don't worry, I'm (God) here, I'm (God) able to calm the storms in your life!




During btj, I understood why I went through this difficult time and had such torturing feeling. All these while, i've been clinging on to my job cos it gave me enough security. Stable job, stable income, can even bless ppl with my wealth, doesn't it sound good? But felt that God is telling me: Sharon, that's fake security. $70 can be gone in a day. The things that you think are secure can be easily gone. Let your security be in Me alone. I've come to realise that even security doesn't satisfy me and the end of the day, if my security is not in God, I am still shaken and empty, defeated and depressed, not being able to experience the abundant life God has promised.

...

11:43pmExpand

Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan

And i'm set free. I am truly happy now! I felt a great release in my spirit when I made the decision to put my security in God alone! The beginning of my abundant life!

...

11:50pmExpand

Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan

And yes, I invite you to hold me accountable to the things I said today! May I not be fickle minded, rationalise and change my mind again cos this is where I found my joy- in God! If I do, remind me of today! :-)

thank God

Thank God for btj, for a good time of crying and pouring out to God. A good time of remembering that blessed are those who mourn, who weep, who are poor... Amen.

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thank God

Thank God I got to see a squirrel at the park beside my flat today.
Thank God cos though I didn't feel too well yesterday and today but yes for the little things I still thank God.
Thank God for the perfect weather to run and to swim that I feel so much better
Thank God for the brown rice, wanton, unagi, seaweed soup this aft
God you know exactly what made my day and what not
Thank God that I know all that I have and all that i've been through, all that I am, God you can have your very good purposes, that even when I dread to do things sometimes, and I never get things done or I make mistakes that you still love me, forgives me and have plans to give me hope and a future!

Amen

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and thank God

Still thank God always for my useful (as useful as any smartphone!) though slow and small little phone, still going strong for 2 years already! :-)

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Thank God

Thank God for a good night rest. Though it's just 5hours but felt refreshed!
Thank God that i'm able to wake up for morning shift early and don't need to take taxi!
Thank God for MRT that I can take to work
Thank God for a home and a room and a bed that I can rest
Thank God for glucosamine, ginko and vit c pills that I didn't buy
Thank God for pecan nuts that was so delicous!
Thank God for pkc girls whose response was so enthusiastic when I suggested ice skating though the offer on groupon was expired
Thank God for mummy and daddy whose love towards each other and us grew.
Thank God that jie jie has a job
Thank God that I have a job too
Thank God for clothes to wear, food to eat, water to drink, toilet to ... :-)
Thank God i'm able to meet jolin and jane later. :-)
Thank God that i'm able to thank God.
Yay!

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Thank You

Thank You for Guiying! For her encouragement, love and joy!
Thank You for giving me strength for work!
Thank You for enough time to finish work.
Thank You that I can be of help during work!
Thank You for nice, knowledgeable (the senior staff nurses) and skillful (runfang who's very good at setting plug) colleagues
Thank You Lord for joy and peace in my heart!
Thank You for this not so bad doctor who didn't make me angry afterall. He was rude initially (or maybe he's stress or thats the way he usually talks) but became polite after I showed abit of displeasure.
Thank You God for rest now!

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Thank You!

Thank You I am alive
Thank You for home cooked food at work
Thank You that I am of some help in my workplace
Thank You that I had enough sleep
Thank You for helping me with my emotions
Thank You for a home to rest
Thank You that I chose I phone that I really liked even till now
Thank You that I can have new things to learn at this new area of work
Thank You for helping me to be contented
Thank You for the faith in You
Thank You for being with me and still working in my life!
Thank You God. =)

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NOTES from GO4 church 2-6/9 & 9/9/2012+KATS

Have faith in God Himself instead of what God gives
E.g. Mary, a virgin decided to have faith in God to give birth to Jesus as she was called even though this child comes with a price. She would be condemned, scorned upon by family, friends, strangers and probably stoned in those days AND she would even risked having her favorite man, Joseph, leaving her. If she had faith on what God gives, she probably would give up living her calling from all the pain, hurts, uncertainty, fears of condemnation that comes with baby Jesus. But Mary instead, had FAITH IN GOD and lived out her calling, as we all know.
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1 Corinthians 3 

God's church MUST function according to God's plan!
A man-led church will die! 
If a church is done according to the standards of the world, the LIFE of the church will die!
Good programs without God can also cause growth in numbers like any other society or organisations but it will not bring LIFE in it's members as a church should. Without God, it's no longer a church.

Our goal is to be Christ like!
It's not about making members but making disciples.

A church should not have divisions 
If you see people through God's eyes, through the eyes of grace, all will be good.
Without God's grace, church will have divisions
See through Jesus's eyes, the church will have grace
Love and justice through the cross acts like a filter, a mask. It blocks out pollution, the dirty things of people.

TESTIMONY OF GOD and TO PROVE GOD is 2 very different thing
Testimony of God is when we die to ourselves and follow GOD. Whatever happens, GOD is glorified.
To prove God is when we think WE can prove God and WE work hard to prove God.

Give up everything & follow His will,
Then His grace will cover us.
It is not by our strength.
If we give up ourselves, everything will be glorifying God, everything will be meaningful.

Spiritual things cannot be understood by human wisdom.
If we have too much of our own thinking, too much of human wisdom, we will not know God.
Live out God's word. It's powerful.
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PRE SERVICE PRAYER MESSAGE
How to be bounded/oppressed/have a foothold in your life:
Live by myself and my own thinking

Signs & symptoms of being bounded/oppressed/have a foothold in your life:
Get angry easily
Don't feel the presence of God
Pray but don't have confidence
Read the bible but no deep revelation
Habitual sin

The different spirits:
Fear
Divisions
Hatred, evil
Oppression, deprivation, slavery
Legalism, violence
Anger & despair

If we are bounded, we will not get the original meaning of the message, we might filter it through the spirit of e.g. legalism

If you have character that God doesn't want, that will be a foothold

Maintenance of the Holy Spirit is a daily, moment by moment thing.
Living in the Holy Spirit is the MINIMUM requirement of every Christian.

Privilege of the righteous comes through the throne of grace
Jesus is our mediator
It's not because of your merit, it's because Jesus recommend you.

PRAY AND BE SET FREE!
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1 Corinthians 2

Crucify human wisdom, we should live by God's wisdom
Wisdom of the world: How much you posses, the do's and the don'ts
Do not STRIVE to enjoy things in the world
Learn to rely on whatever God gives, not be possessors of things in the world
When we posses too much things, it slows down the process of God
E.g. a traveler cannot bring too many things
Don't posses, keep giving it out

We are not measured by the things we possessed. 
We are measured by how much we obey God's word.
All problems come because you think you possess it.
In fact, everything you enjoy is God's! The truth is there's NOTHING that you have! That's why you can be free! If you have nothing, you don't need to worry about anything!
The things you have are the things God allowed you to use it for Him.
As soon as you think you own it, problem comes.

If we are really Christians, we wouldn't worry about food, etc.

God uses the weak to shame the strong
God is pleased with total dependence
You cannot live your life without God and without the power of His Spirit!

Church is different from the world. We cannot be like the Corinthians, trying to please people of the world.
Salvation belongs to the Lord. Our job is to preach truthfully and accurately.
If you don't receive the right gospel, you will not be able to walk correctly
If you pay attention to people, you not only kill yourself, you kill them as well. You should only look to God.

"Jesus, be my wisdom, my holiness"

When God forgives us, He erases out our sins and cleanse us as white as snow.
So when satan throw accusations at us, you just respond, "What sin? God has already erases my sin!"
When you believe, you receive righteousness by faith. Not striving but by faith.

When there's hope you will endure.
When there's love, you'll sacrifice.

You shouldn't feel defeated. You are not created like that!
The only reason why you are being defeated or despair is because you are CHEATED!
The Word of God is designed as an essential and fundamental to your soul and spirit!
Word of God should be LIFE in you!
You should not surrender to physical suffering, you should find the spiritual cause of it.
The important thing is to digest the word of God by FAITH, it cannot be filtered by world's standard or human wisdom. If it does, it will lose it's power!
E.g. Word of God is like cooked meat. It's good. But filtered by world's wisdom, it becomes overcooked. It's no good. It has lost it's nutrients.
Do not be malnourished without God's word!
If you do not digest the word of God by faith, you do not accept it as the truth.

It is difficult for us to accept the truth because of our evil desires
E.g. Prophet Jeremiah ate the scroll (the word) and it turned bitter
Paul did not try to persuade with men's wisdom. Truth will not be persuasive.

What made you mature is not how long you've been in church but how much of God's word have you digested.
To develop spiritual maturity takes about 6 months to a year

Does God know we will sin? Of course He knows, He is all knowing.
If God knows we will sin, why did He still created us?
It's because He loves us.
E.g. If you have a son and you know all the mistakes that he will make in the future, will you still love him?
If you know that your son will betray you, whip you and crucify you next time, are you still able to love him?
He chose to give up His all knowing power so that He can love us. 
God has already decided to take responsibility for all our mistakes that we will make.
God has the best solution to everything that we decide, even our mistakes.
Through the cross you realize how good God is. You don't use your own strength.

E.g. CEO of a company decided to let his son runs his company, there is a risk.
When God appointed us to be His church, there is a risk

Whatever you do, He will be responsible for your actions and behavior
He knows the best route for us
He love us so much that He gave us everything!

You are God's church
You have the authority in the kingdom of God.
You must be excited to be part of the church

If majority of the congregation is immature, it will cause a lot of issues and problems.
When immature people is in an organisation, it will be affected negatively. Mature people however, will edify
Immature people are people who cannot control their bodies.
E.g. For a infant to point his finger to the middle of his nose is difficult cos it's hard for infants to control their bodies but for an adult is easy.

Infants will treat God as rubbish if there's no gain (possessions)
They are like a 65yo that still choose to wears diapers not because of any illness.

Traits of the immature: Quarrel, strife, jealous, don't see their own weakness, magnify a small problem (e.g. to an adult it's a small problem, but to the child it seems like a big problem and make a big fuss over it)

The glory of the church does not depend on the number of people.

If we live by flesh, we are just like animal who live just to eat.
If we live by the flesh, the more we want to posses, the more we want to eat.
Do not pursue anything that's not eternal.

No man will invest in a bank that will perish!
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Correctly give what God has given you.

Minister should minister according to the grace you are given
Minister according to the portion given by God, not to add or subtract
Live according to what God provides
We often strive by our own effort and this cause death

Be careful of greed (subtract: take something that is not yours) and despair (add: you feel that the things God has given someone is not enough & you try to add/stop the person from trying to give God) and loneliness (do it alone, instead of with God) when you are doing ministry.
Greed
E.g. Take some money out from mission fund for your salary
Despair
E.g. A poor man wanna give God offering and you said, don't need to give. You are already so poor already, keep for yourself. You are not God. He's giving to God, not you. You don't need to worry about him. God will take care of him. God will provide for him.
E.g. People who wants to come camp but has no money. You take ALL your salary and gives them until you have no money for yourself. It is God's responsibility to provide for them, not yours. You are not God.

God is the boss, He is our Father. He is the One who provides all our needs.
God is the CEO, not the pastor of the church.
The pastor is also your God's worker, and your fellow worker.

We often think that if we don't go, somebody is gonna die
Even if you don't preach, God will save
Our job is to do the things that God entrusted us to do
You just spend what you've been given by God
Unless you become pure and holy, God cannot flow through.
Your mind must be molded by the truth, then the Holy spirit will flow through you.
You are a channel of God. You are a vessel. Do not add or subtract to whatever God gives. Let God Himself flow through your life.
God is the focus of our ministry: what God wants me to do, where is God placing me, who God wants me to meet

Secret of successful: Do not limit the presence of indwelling Holy Spirit
Only through the spirit can we know God- personal encounter (Romans 8:26)
E.g. When you choose to love your enemies, your Holy Spirit will communicate to God & God will give you grace and help you to love your enemies.
The Holy spirit is our helper!
Know the truth & respond according to the truth (Hebrews 10:16)
It will be impossible to live in this world if you limit the presence of indwelling spirit

Demons can intervene in your mind and manipulate your mind.
Above all things, guard your heart.
You have the power to defeat satan
Only when you are deceived, you will be defeated- because you don't know who you are and what God has done for you.
God's spirit is in you
We can enter the King's chamber
Live by the Holy Spirit (1 John 2:27)
Spiritual things should be discerned by the spirit
Moment by moment, you have to live by the Holy Spirit, if not you cannot live.
Leaders must live by the Holy spirit
We must have the mind of Christ through the Holy Spirit

To be like Jesus, you need to know exactly who He is.
We need to see Jesus through the spirit

1 Cor 3:10-15
Architect should built according to the blueprint/plan instead of what they want
Earthquake will tell you how strong the building is

Eph 4:11
If you try to teach with human effort, it will spoil the plan of God

Everyone is important! Cherish your body. Even your little finger. You can't use your thumb to dig your nose.

See through the eyes of faith
Seeings is believing
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Pray by the strength of God, not in your own strength

Grow in God's rest

First thing in the morning read, read the word of God, not tv, newspaper, or other things of the world

Be a man of faith, except totally what God has given you.

Habakkuk

The more of the world you have, the less the Holy Spirit will be able to move

The more you wanna possess, the more you'll lose

Uproot the impurities in you!

Ezekiel 40

You need to empty yourself so that you can let God fill your life!

We are drown cos we depended on our own strength. Actually even if we don't know how to swim we can still float if we relax in the water

Obey and submit to the word of God

1 Peter 2:22

Don't depend on your own feelings to fast or pray. Depend on God.

Amos 3:3
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Philip 1:6 God's part
2 peter 1:4 Our part
Prov 4:23- guard your heart
Mark 7:15, 20-23
Luke 6:43-45

God and us are a team! All team members must give something to the table. God gives love, grace, forgiveness, joy, we too must give all we have, our brokenness, our weaknesses, etc.

3rd revelation from kuching

The trek at bako national park was tough! The route through the forest were of different terrain and inclination. I'm sweating and breathing hard. The rocky terrain, steep slope and the slippery grip (plus my heavy backpack) really made me wonder if I could make it... to the beach and back. But what gave me confidence was that many had gone before me and made it! The wooden makeshift stairs (though looked dangerous and unsteady) was made by ppl who had trekked through this route and survived! That means I can do it too. And yes in the end, we all made it, even a 50 over year old aunty who went trekking with us. :-)

At the end of the trek, I felt really happy. Not only did we enjoyed the beach and finished the trek but more so cos I felt God encouraging me through this trek to not give up walking with Him. Yes, walking with Him may not be easy. There are many times I wondered if I could do it and sadly many times i've been dissapointed at myself. I wondered am I really a real christian sometimes- knowing my heart intentions and motives are so far from His, and not desiring to pray and read His Word sometimes. My life seemed to be like a roller coaster, up when inspired, down when not... Well and His answer to me was, look at the many who had gone before you! These ppl who really followed after me- george muller, bill bright, pastor lim ghee tiong, dr joon gon kim, hudson taylor, corrie ten boon, d l moody, they have lived so many years with God and some have already lived through their lives and all have made it, they've lived like real christians, they've lived an abundant life and a life of calling and obedience, a life without regrets, a life that's been greatly used by God. Look at the many who had gone before you, they've walked with Me and allow Me to be God of their lives. Now, the question is no longer if I can be a real and good christian cos I can never be, on my own but whether can I choose to walk with God and let God be God in my life all the days of my life. It is possible cos MANY (some not even published) had gone before me doing so.

So sharon, walk on with Jesus and never give up! :-)

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Revelations from kuching (it's long due!): Be Grateful

As promised, I want to share with you my 2 other revelations from the kuching trip!

Blogger driod has made blogging so much easier! I'm blogging now on the train!

Here goes revelation 1:

要感恩. Be grateful.

10 lepers healed, only 1 went all the way back to thank Jesus. Aloud! He couldn't contain the excitement that is in him! He had leprosy, suffered and now he's healed and cleansed! Can you imagine how happy and grateful he must be? Like wow Wow WOW i'm healed! I'm healed!

Oh how easily I get excited over what amazing things God has done and blessed me with, yet all too easily I forgot and become ungrateful, especially in the midst of storm. Sometimes I get so depressed and upset and forgot that God is still good.

So sharon be grateful! Wow Wow WOW! God is good, God is good! He provided for all my mission trips when i'm not working! He opened my eyes to hear and see how God touched and changed many lives! Rebellion turned obedient, drug addicts were set free. Gangster turned pastor and so so SO much more! He hold the rain when we were giving bibles in thailand! He gave me such good mentor and good friends! He miraculously told me ''I love you sharon, come back to me'' through a stranger when I looked super fine on the outside! He speaks to me! He told me that He'll uphold my right hand when I felt I can't go on anymore! And so much more! Click through the pages of my blog! God's goodness is meant to be shared! It helps me recall, remember and get excited all over again! I wanna share and be grateful always! :-)

Revelation 2:

Hmmm... Too late now, another day perhaps. Good night! :-)

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Insecurities

Dear God, help me to be secure in Your love and not look to the approval of others. Help me to be faithful and obedient, leaving the results to you. Take away my fear o Lord that I may be bold and courageous to obey You. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

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Training In Progress

God is really training me. I have no idea why ever since I graduated from advance dip and started working again, my self esteem has been really low... even till recently. It used to be really high in sec sch, poly, in later part of prev ward and in adv dip. I seemed to be always well loved and approved by others. I seemed to often be given impt roles and coming out with valid and smart ideas. But not now.

Sometimes when i speak, the reactions of people make me feel that i've said sth really dumb. Sometimes ppl more juniour than me could be smarter and more competent at work than me. Most of the time, my brain processor is so slow. Sometimes I feel like i've done a lousy job on stage when I spend majority of my free time preparing. Sometimes when I pray, people don't say amen. Sometimes, ppl doubt my ability and I don't get selected for impt roles. Sometimes, I find myself so easily fall into sin and becoming so unholy in my thoughts and actions than before. Seldom, do I hear ppl praising me now. Have my social circle shrank? Have I changed? Have my creative juices stop flowing? Maybe.

''Be faithful still, be obedient still and live by the approval of Me alone.'' God

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Kuching trip (retrospective entry)

This was long due but was too busy to write. The kuching trip was not only a great leisure, a great rest but also a great spiritual journey. During one prayer meeting at blessed kuching church, God showed me that He is my Daddy! He loved me and would listen to me! He wouldn't give me a stone if I ask for bread or snake if I ask for an egg! Even earthly daddy, knowing evil would give us good things, how much more our heavenly Daddy! A man would still give you bread in the middle of the night if you keep asking, what more Heavenly Daddy,  What is in your heart today? Cry out to Him! 爸爸! 爸爸! 爸爸! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! At that moment I just cried out my heart to Him. I cried for my this patient who I had compassion for. He only came in for backache but he became confused, weak and deteriorated, seemed to have stroke out.  Why? I don't know. Daddy please help him. You are his Daddy too!!! (This patient was well again when i came back from kuching! Praise God!). I cried for myself, for being indifferent, for not listening and obeying God, for walking on my own for too long. I heard this teaching many times. But its the first time I was touched by it. First time I cried over it. Cos at that moment God seemed to speak directly at me. 我是你爸爸, 我爱你, 我喜欢听你说话... I'm your Father, your Daddy, I love you, I delight to hear your voice, tell me your heart, I love to listen to you speak.

It was such an awesome heart to heart talk I had with my Dad that night after a very long while. I want to remember this and be grateful always.

There's 2 more revelations from the trip I want to write but haven't got time now. Next time!

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Weaknesses

Poor memory, lack of focus, public speaking are some very evident weaknesses that sometimes causes me to get into trouble, feel bad or be embarrased about, especially when these weaknesses doesn't benefit others the way I hope to. Subconsciously, I'd defend myself and validate the reason for my poor memory. But after defending myself, I feel even worse cos I know it's bcos I didn't wanted to be vulnerable, I didn't wanted to be lousier than what others have in their mind of me and that's pride, isn't it? These weaknesses somehow become more evident in my life right now. Maybe the people I'm with are so much smarter than me now. Sometimes, I would start wishing... I wish I have better brains, I wish I'm wiser, smarter, cleverer, more talanted...

Then again, no one is perfect and it is because of these imperfections that I depend on God all the more. I believe when God calls me, He'll equip and empower. As how He called Moses, even though Moses is really lousy at public speaking, God reassured him, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say." (Ex.4:11-12) . Yes, it is You, O Lord, that make me speak, hear and see. I believe my weaknesses reminded me that You, Lord Jesus, Creator of me, my Heavenly Pa Pa, my closest Companion, my King, is and will be all I need. You told Paul, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So that Paul can say, "So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." (2 Cor. 12:9). Likewise for me.

Jesus, thank You for Your grace in my life. There are moments of glory and times when I'm really proud of myself. When I transferred school in p.6 and went to the only school and the only class that has space, I seemed to be so proud of my results in comparison to the rest. I soon realised that that's the last class. When I got a PSLE score of 219, I thought I was rather smart. In secondary school, I remembered recieving the best camper award in a St Johns camp and the following year, a best NCO (though there's only 4 NCO to choose from, I was still kind of proud). And soon I was appointed as the chief executive of YTSS SJAB. I really wondered how I got there. But it was a good experience. Working with my best pal, Zhen Wen (I feel that she got better leadership than I do), we organised trainings, activities, camps and hikes. It was really fun! In fact, many a times, she trained me. I remembered when I had to shout commands and lead contingent for SJ day/NDP. She stayed back to shout with me and even wrote me a card to encourage me. TT. I remembered how I was praised for my formal letter and AGM report. Then when I transferred to NA, I was the top few again. I remebered the composition I wrote was praised and being photocopied and distributed to the class, I remebered I topped geography in one of the class test without studying. I was within the top 10 in N levels with a score of 3 and O levels with a score of 15 (5 subjects) and 17 (6 subjects). Then, I became an officer and trained teams for competitions. I remembered how I got an A for one of the behavoural science modules in polytechnic when I started studying only after my best friend reminded me that there's a test after school. I remembered... the list goes on... O, how I wished I'm still there and always will be there, to feel smart, good and proud. But would I really want to know You and cry out to You when I feel I'm good on my own? Even if I'm gloroius my whole life, it will still end within 70-120 years but a relationship with You will last for eternity. And when I leave this earth, how much more joy will I have when I see You face to face, a God that I already have a relationship with all these while... to have You hold my hand as I depart earth. Beautiful.

Now as I look back, I see Your grace and Your hand in those moments of glory. Though now, I seemed to be the worst and lousiest among the ppl that's around me, I know I'm here as You will. Help me to be humble and learn. And by Your hand and by Your grace, I will continue on in this journey with You as I place my hope and confidence in You alone.

If I boast, let me boast in my God.

Bottles on/in the wall!

I saw this interesting wall at bottle tree park that uses old glass bottles as decorative to the wall. Pretty neat and nice! Forgot to take a photo though. What's more? They have lots of other old stuff that they use to reuse/remake into sth new! Creative heh? =)

Games! Balloons to go!

I thought this game is rather interesting, inspired from everday life.

Team members will each have a paper plate. Each member will have to carry the balloon on their plate like a waiter to and fro and hand over the balloon to the next player without using the other hand to steady the ballon throughout the relay. If he/she does so or drops the ballon, he/she will have to go to the starting line again. Continue until the entire team has completed the race. The first team to complete the relay with all it's members sitting down is the winner.  =)

From lesson 12- The First Family, Game #1

Love your neighbour as yourself!

Jack loved puppies and is excited about getting one. He has been working hard to save and so far, he had $1.63. He went ahead when his mom said OK. When the lady told Jack that each puppy cost $5, Jack face fell. Nevertheless, the lady allowed Jack to play with the puppies. He was having a great time. Their happy faces brought a smile to his.

Out of a sudden, Jack thought of a crippled puppy his mom mentioned. The lady lifted the puppy and handed it to Jack.

Jack was so excited! "This is the one that I want!" Jack exclaimed. "I am going save up and buy him, please don't let anything happen to this puppy." The lady was puzzled.

Why would Jack want a crippled puppy?

Jack pulled out his pants and showed the lady the brace on his leg. His leg was deformed at birth. He said, "I know how the puppy feels. I want to love that puppy. I want to take care of that puppy. I want to make sure the puppy is never scared or worried."

Jack understood, and he was willing to accept and love the puppy. He was ready to truly care for it.

We need to love our familes like that. We're not perfect, so why do we expect our mothers/fathers/brothers/sisters to be perfect?

The lady couldn't resist the love she was sensing decided to give Jack the puppy free!

Summarised and paraphrased from lesson 12- Life story, The Imperfect Puppy.

I'm touched by Jack's love for the crippled puppy. Many a times, we too, are unworthy of God's love but He never fails to love us unconditionally. How can we then not love imperfect others, having been imperfect ourselves too, yet recieving abundant grace and love, being forgiven and loved much by God?

Help to build up your family!

(Mom tries hard to build the word FAMILY with boxes "F","A", "M", "I", "L", "Y", mixing up the alphabets as she goes along.)
Mom is not perfect, like everyone else, mom doesn't know everything and makes lots of mistakes but still, trying her best to build the family.

Son takes time to look at all the mistakes his mom did wrong, arms crossed and complains abt the way mom does things. He doesn't like the way mom talks to him, the way mom acts. He doesn't like the fact that his mom doesn't goes church. It bothers him that she's not like any other mom.

She's trying to build the family but he's not helping. Is his mom perfect? No.

But at least she's trying. What is the son doing to build the family? What is the son doing to help his little brothers and sisters? What is the son doing to encourage his mom? He is not doing anything, not even asking God to help his family! He should be helping instead he is just down on her and makes things worse by disobeying his mom, going places without permission and not telling where he is going. Son is not respecting his mother and he is hurting the family.

We must realise that our parents are not perfect. We must accept our share and do our part to build the family. Our family is what God has given us. We need to take care of it!

You will honor God when you do your best for your family!

Summarised and paraphrased from Lesson 12- The First Family

The lesson that hits me most is not just abt doing my best for the family but how sometimes all of us tend to stand aside and complain abt the imperfect person who is trying his/her best to serve (and most of the time they are the ones serving US). The energy/time/effort spend in complaining can do so much more by praying, encouraging, stand by them, being sensitive and lend a hand when need arises.

UNFAILING LOVE!

Exodus

Dressed for God's glory
Exodus 28:2
And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for glory and for beauty.

God is a detailed God
see the instrcutions that He gave Moses to built His temple and Aaron preist clothes in Exodus!

It is God who gave us all our talents and giftings!
Ex. 31:3 3 and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— 4 to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, 5 to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts. 6 Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him.

Enablement comes with calling!
Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you:

What happens when you can't see a glimpse of what God promised?

TRUST!

Ex 32 When the people had to wait too long, they stopped trusting God and turned to a god they made out of their hands to lead them!

There are times I'm like that too. And I felt sad that subtly I'm depending on more of myself than God when I dont see God intervene when I expected Him to do so.

I just have to wait and keep trusting that His promises are true.

That He's greater,
He's stronger,
He's wiser,
He's kinder,
He's more loving,
more compassionate,
more righteous,
more just

THAN ME.

And that have been proven too many times in history!
So I'm just gonna trust...

Thank God for changing my heart =)

Touched by God

I must blog this so I can remember that He touched me again- His arms over my shoulders. God, I found myself when I am in Your arms again.

It is only God that can give us God moments! =)

These few months hasn't been great.

Yet, I now know all the problems that I had, the emotional upheavels, all the stress, all the burden, all the dissapiontment, all the loss of meaning in life, all the dissatisfaction, all the lack is to remind me that God is all I need, that He alone is my all in all, my joy, my peace, my love, my life. He is my life giver, my life changer, my strength, my everything (yours too!) and that I'm heading in the wrong direction all these while, putting my trust in myself rather than in God.

Indeed, God helped me and he heard my cry (Ps. 40:1), even the simple, out of desperation, "God help me, wo hen xing ku."

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along (Ps. 40:2)

God's love flowed so strongly through it all, through His people, through their prayers, through those life giving encouragement...

All I can see now is His love for me and I will walk on with Him. =)

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

This verse has proven true again in my life and it will be always true
He keeps loving and loving and loving...
Nothing we can do could make Him loves us more.

He is love, God is love.

He never lets go.

Thank You God... thank You, God... thank You, God...

He is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
Jim Elliot

I have an appointment with the Lord of heaven and earth and I dare not be tired and I dare not be late.
-An evangelist (Name unknown)

If the praise of others elates me, or if the blame of others depresses me, then I know nothing of Calvary's love.
-Amy Carmichael

Fix your eyes on Christ and live for His smile alone.

God spoke to me

When someone who barely knows my circumsatnces spoke directly and specifically in regards to that circumstance that I am in, I know it is God. Today, He spoke:

"As you think about your future, do not worry bcos God has plans for your life, plans to give you a hope and a future. Know that God has not given you a spirit of confusion, but of power, of love and of sound mind. God has called you to be more than a conqerour. Stop thinking that you cannot handle this or you cannot handle that."

Thank God thank God thank God!!!

Felt so so so encouraged after reading what God has done in my life. As I looked back to the last 7 months of school, I thank God, thank God that it's over and that God has sustained me even in the midst of family issues and people to spend time with...

I remember there are times when I really had very very little time to study and do assingments... but God's grace saw me through.

Thank God for the FUN friends that has accompanied through these 7 months

Thank God for the FUN trip to batam!

Thank God for my sis... that God gave her a job in KTPH!

Thank God for the pleasant suprise and great friends on my birthday

Thank God for the many foooood that I had

Thank God for the opportunity to go to different nursing homes and community hospitals. Enjoyed it!

Thank God for He supply all my needs! Netbook, smartphone @ $0 with contract!

Thank God that my studies are sponsored!

Thank God for meetups with jincheng... =)

AWESOME!! =)

Thank God, praise Him!! =)

Psalm 50:7-15 (New Living Translation)

7 “O my people, listen as I speak.
Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God!

8 I have no complaint about your sacrifices
or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.

9 But I do not need the bulls from your barns
or the goats from your pens.

10 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

11 I know every bird on the mountains,
and all the animals of the field are mine.

12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
for all the world is mine and everything in it.

13 Do I eat the meat of bulls?
Do I drink the blood of goats?

14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
and keep the vows you made to the Most High.

15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory.”

23 BUT GIVING THANKS IS A SACRIFICE THAT TRULY HONORS ME...

to my family in Christ...

i cant slp.
prob due to the caffeine- the milk tea i had with my sis.
i had lots of late nights recently.
either assignment, projects or with people.
mainly 3 people in my life currently- my sis, t, f.

well, each, i believe need someone at this pt in their life, whose reasons should be kept confidential so i won't be explaining it here.

i'm glad to avail myself to them as well. as they choose to share their lives and struggles with me, i grow too, for being so helpless with their struggles... and trusting God all the more for them to live a happy and meaningful life.

sth i thought interesting: i learnt in dover park hospice that everyone has a spiritual component in their lives but not everyone is religous. spirituality is to be in harmony with God, themselves and people ard them... thats what most researchers define. To me, that is: to be in a RELATIONSHIP with GOD, our creator and friend. He is the reason of my existence and everyone's and everything's else existed bcos of him.

Genesis
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
... ... ...
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

anw, back to my life. 3 things (bolded)-
1) pls pray with me acc to Col. 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”- i'm struggling. VERY unmotivated to study... may God be my motivation.

2) pls pray with me acc to 1 cor 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."- i'm struggling being discipline with God's word and being in fellowship with God's family.

thanks bro/sis for praying! =)

Hebrews
23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

my own reminders (you can ignore):
-npg, ml, t, f, jie
-val, kids p. team

Stay close to God =)

Relationship with God...
starts with proximity (asking Jesus to cleanse us from sins, inviting Him in your life),
grows with communication (prayer),
stretches with knowing and understanding (bible reading, christian friends, church),
progresses with trust which translate into faith acted out in obedience (worship)
and
always abound in love.
God is love.
Love never fails.

Relationship with people...
starts with proximity (collaugues/classmates/finding out the best time to bump into that someone at a certain place, etc.),
grows with communication (talk via msn/fb/phone/meetups),
stretches with knowing and understanding (read that someone's blog, ask friends abt that someone, be with that someone when he/she's with her friends/family),
progresses with trust or stagnated with mistrust.
and
abound in love or end with hurts.
God is love.
Love never fails.
Thus, people need God.

Am reminded...

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God.

Giants

What would Jesus do… what would You do when u r all stressed up wanting to perform the very best and very perfect wherever you go, what will happen when u were my shoes? How would u respond? God? I’m stressed cos I felt like everything is beyond me… God…. Did I bring it upon myself? God but I know… that it is truly what I wanted to do. To do my best in all that I can do so I can bring glory and honor to Your Name. So that, I can wisely use my resources for Your kingdom, to see lives transformed as You worked thru me. Such vision. I know… It cannot b accomplished by me. God I’m weak You’re strong… I’m limited, You are unlimited. I can never do it w/o u. You’re said tt all things r possible thru You. You can make it. Lord, David threw the sling at Goliath…. He knew You can do it, God He had so much faith in You… Lord Jesus I need You too. To be like David… to trust in You that You are bigger, bigger than my studies…. God I need to believe tt u give wisdom to those who ask and God…. I need to believe that You ans prayers that you will give me even exceedingly, abundantly of all tt I could eva ask for or imagine….. And tt no matter whats e results I will still trust you… that you alone will satisfy me…. You will surely be faithful to do what You have promised…. All things works for those who r called according to His purpose

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

“For I hold your right hand- I, the Lord you God. And I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” Isaiah 41:13

God You’re Sovereign.

=)

AHHH!

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
assignments, projects, ICAs, revision!!!!!!!!!!!!



"God is bigger than the air i breathe,
the world will leave..."

Yes. God. is bigger than my studies, my work, my ministry.

Happy

i feel so much better~! Feels happy, contented. Though still stressed but i guess it is a gd stress that pushes me to do things instead of procastinate. coped better by doing my best, making best use of my time, and resources, having a conscious clear purpose and motives behind why i'm doing what i'm doing and really, talking to God... and hearing the voice of truth! that He is with me, He is my strength, my security, my confidence, not in results, not in what I can do, but what He can do & with what He has given me. in some way, i thank God for all these pressures, it is really Him who draws me back once again.

Missing...

I missed dip days. I missed being in sccc esp, missed the ppl thr. missed gg for missions trip, and camps! having a sense of purpose, conviction, vision, dream, this grp of ppl whom we prayed together, worked together, cry together, play together and laugh like crazy together. So often, its really the quality time. The deep things that we share and can connect to, so honest, REAL and transperant, being so vulnerable and yet knowing that they still loved you. So true, so loving, so wise, so encouraging, so willing to hear, and often so crazily funny as well. I missed them, ALOT! Felt so blessed, so happy and worry free! Nth matters as much as long as God is with me and my wonderful family in Christ... felt heaven on earth then! Felt like I've really placed the first things first in my life- God and ppl. Felt so strong, confident and secure as I walked thru life's journey with Him and trusting Him alone, even when I got less time to study than my peers. Felt so close to Him, hearing from Him ,seeing Him work. meeting my needs and enjoying His presence. And His ppl who are TRULY nice without formality sake or fakeness bcos they TRULY are Christ like... ppl who loved God and loved ppl, always reaching out in love, still able to give and always say that they are blessed to be a blessing even with the humble support they raised and yet God always, always meeting their needs. lovely, sweet ppl.


but not now...

I'm writing
in the chaos of emotions,
in the confusion of decisions.
I'm not clear minded
but truly, its sth upon my heart.
Sth so heavy,
I've always wanted to say
but don't know how.


I felt overwhelmed in sch
Felt like I cannot understand and have to spend lots of time reading up.
Felt like I dont have time.
Felt like I've made so many wrong decisions
Felt like bcos of me, other ppl made wrong decisions as well
Felt so dumb somtimes
Felt like I've neglected some friends
Felt I cannot cope with so many friends and activities
Felt like I've neglected my sis
My social circle shrinked trumendously
I want to spend time with my sis
but she's always not at home
I dont know how to prioritise
I've got only 24hrs a day.
Frankly speaking, I've yet to enjoy myself that much.
Always felt like I havent really put in my best effort in my studies and so much wanted to do well this time.
Felt more irratable these days, esp at mum's nagging
Sometimes wished I dont have to work
But what abt my expenses?
Felt that the car is a great liability.
Felt like crying,
I cannot cry.
I'm laughing so other ppl will not feel bad
I'm counting the cost of my future and its never enough.
Retirement, marriage, children, inflation.
Felt like a miser sometimes
Ppl says to invest but I dont know how
And I got no time to read now
I dont know what to do.
Where is my bf?


I dont want my life to be like that. I know I can be victorious in Christ. I know I can be an overcomer. I know I can be confident and secure in Him. I know He can provide all my needs. I know I shouldnt store up treasure on this earth but in heaven. I know I'm not trusting, not having faith. I know, I know, I know. I felt like I know alot but these knowledge seemed to slowly creeped away from my heart back to my head only. I know to guard my heart. How? Where's my FAITH, where's my CONVICTIONS? I need a more definate, more stable, higher purpose to live than all life could offer, I need God, I need faith, I need conviction again. I realised how easy it is to go into depression without God's truth, love, Word, and His ppl. It's more than a want, it's a need. I need to be satisfied in Him and Him alone. To be filled by His overflowing love so I got more to give. I'm tearing the mask of laughter, I'm laying my weaknesses before you. You see, it's no longer what I can do now, I'm vulnerable. I've got not enough. I'm weak. I have no idea how, I jus know that I need God, got to get back to His presense, back to His heart, back to His ppl.


In my 3rd year of my dip days, a staff asked us, "draw what do u see yourself in 10 years time." I drew myself, and many ppl and children ard me with smiles on their faces. I don't know specifically what I want to do then. But one thing for sure, I want to bring smiles to ppl ard me, to make a difference, so that ppl ard me can be happy. What makes ppl happy? Not the kind of happiness that last only a moment but never really touched/cure deep down to the root issue. For me, the happiest moments in my life were in crusade. It was from there, God caused me to see Him more and more clearly, that I'm able to witness His works and power and love. It was then, I fell in love with God. It was then, that I felt God's heartbeat. It was then that I'm convicted, that I'm loved, that God is all I need, that He is my joy, my strength, He speaks to me. The ppl there made a great difference in my life by showing me how real God is in their lives. They showed me how to connect to God and how to enjoy a r/s with God. They didnt merely taught or talk abt God, they SHOWED me thru their lives. They live out Christ centered lives, and admitting their occasional human weakness. They are so REAL. It is perhaps bcos of their lives that no matter how bad i feel now/how difficult circumstances may be, or how much faith i know i lacked, I cannot bring myself to deny God and His power, His love. Their lives left an impact on mine, and will be a such a great legacy. Perhaps... thats what I wanna do too, to bring ppl to God, to see less of psy illness, depression, schiz, less of suicide, corruption, immorality as many bcome convicted to choose to live out Christ centered lives, knowing that God is more than enough for them.

But I need to walk the talk 1st. back to my basics of prayer, Word and meeting up with believers, living Christ centered lives and then wait upon God as He brings my head knowledge back to my heart. He knows what I need.

Readings

thanksgiving!

thank God that He hold me, my foot almost slipped. (i mean not literally.)

thank God for annual leave! i really love this time of the year! been spending time reading for the past 4 days.

Somethings to share here and there. =)

VISION/MISSION IN LIFE

A whole new paradigm shift!

Imagine you've been trying very hard climbing a ladder your whole life. When you reached the top, you celebrate! But as you look around you, you realised that it is not where you wanna be. And then you realised you've been climbing the wrong ladder.

or

You can have the best car pumped with the best petrol running at 140km/hr. You're efficient, fast, cool, a nitch above the rest. But when you arrived at your destination, you realised that this is not to place you wanna be either. You've headed for the wrong direction.

Managers are like ppl who facilitate the cutting of trees, organizing them and encouraging them to make sure they cut as many trees as they can. Leaders stand on a tall hill, saw the whole picture and shouts, "Stop, we're cutting the wrong forest!"

App: To not just manage my life but lead my life. need a personal retreat to establish God-given vision and mission in accordance to where He's leading (circumstance), His Word, passion/interest, Wise counsel, wisdom.

RISKS

Inspiring Poem by Ann Landers'!

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To place expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure

A person who risks nothing may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.

TEAMWORK(THINK WIN/WIN, INTERDEPENDANCE Vs INDEPENDANT)

Good interactive analogy!

Get 2 ppl up and play arm wrestling. Let them know that they have 60s. Everytime one managed to press the other party down, he'll get a dollar. Rather than both of them struggling and have one winner in 60s, they can both take turns to let each other win within the 60s. In that way, they can achieve much more(dollars), together.

$$

thanksgiving!

time to read thru ins policies today.

time to talk to dad abt $$ issues

prayers!~

wisdom from God to make wise decision in terms of money, time allocation. that in the process, i wont lose my own soul.

Ask, Seek, Knock!

adding on to the previous post, i just thought of an example re asking, seeking and knocking. its like support raising. we dont jus pray (asking) but also did newsletter to give to our friends by faith (seeking), and invite them to join in the great commision by praying and giving (knocking) =) and we begin to experience God as Jehovah Jireh, our provider be it in prayers and finances.

thanksgiving!

though jb trip was cancelled cos both me and my dad woke up late but its really really nice to stay at home the whole day reading books!

prayers!

Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people in terms of studies. and same... to be in the centre of His will.

thanks =)

Ãsk, Seek, Knock!

God revealed sth abt this verse to me today as i was abt to slp. It must have been God bcos I never heard sth like tt before, felt that there's so much truth to it, make sense to me and at the same time timely for someone i talked to just now: ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you. it is a common and widely used verse even for non christians. i jus realised sth. the verse didnt stopped at ask, it continued to seek and even knock. God ans prayers and gives but sometimes, we didnt see it cos we dont seek, and if we sought and found but didnt try knocking, of cos the door wont b open.

ok, tts all. gdnight! =)

Thanksgiving!

hello!

thanksgiving!

for J & A tansport to make uni and sometimes back home fr work, they r really a nice couple.

for cell. was totally blown off by what i hear today abt V's life, abt hw he was involved in black magic, able to see demons, able to ask demons to help him in exams. and then hw his spirit got out of his body, lost consciousness, struggled with demons, then he called on the name of Jesus and came back but even so, he still sometimes lost conscious, turned violent in hospital, not even 4 doses of sedative could control him. then Ps. D prayed for him and cast the demons out of his body. this is very summarised. should hear from V himself man!

for J sharing today, bringing heaven into earth, our assignment and what we are called to do, fulfilling the great commision, its kinda linked to what God has been speaking to me this period of time! amazing! =)

God is really meeting my needs! ytd boss (@tuition centre) called me back to do cleaning cos they service the aircon so the place was quite dirty. so i had extra cash. and, my boss gave me 5 pcs of pies from pie kia cos someone gave them and they cant finish.

prayers!

May His kingdom come, His will be done everywhere i go!

Excited!

heyhey!

i didnt update for the past 2 days due to fatigue. but LIFE'S BEEN REALLY EXCITING! God sustained me. Had a nice sleep till 1.30pm today. SHIOK!

Thanksgiving highlights:

Met up with C & S at CWP to share and pray for each other =) God used her sharings and diff situatiions to speak to me re: the exact same need that I have. That as I begin to centre myself in God's will, He will meet my needs. So my focus shouldn't be on my inadequacies but on Him and answering His call, no matter what He called me to do, He will provide all that I need.

I'm really happy!

Prawning w J, A & J! Though I didnt catch any, it is really the ppl that i enjoyed, and God blessed J that she caught many many prawns!

Prayers:

To be in the centre of God's will, and tt when He calls me, I will ans.

Time to read thru ins. policies. Wisdom to choose a gd ins. policy to commit. Guard my heart agaisnt greed, envy, things not of God

That my heart will still place God as No. 1 and please Him, no matter what.

thanksgiving!

nice day at work, friends at w63

time for His Word

food!

opportunity to hear fr ex adv dip ppl


=)

goodnights!

thanksgiving!

for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believed in Him shall not perish but have eternal life!

had a great time at kids church today! the fun, the joy, the laughter! Its indeed an ans to our pre-service prayer! =)

can slp during bus journey

prayers!

Focus and proirity on God

God will sustain me in His strength, to be careful and not careless, to be excellent in the things that I do.

Able to find surety and submit the necessary doc by deadline, 7 apr for adv dip.

able to go for encounter retreat. hoping J will go too.

heyhey!

thanksgiving:

got into adv dip together jo2 n some others! looking forward to clearing my leave and studying again! looking forward to meeting the ppl at ccc again. i'm kinda elated!

i learnt that as i focus on God, He will meet my needs. today was on the train, kinda tired but decided to spend time with God by reading the Word on the train while standing instead of paying attention to who gets up next so i can get the seats. jus after awhile, a few seats came, and i didnt even had to rush to get them! Indeed, God will meet my needs as i look to Him, my source, my everything.

bro came to fetch me from work at tui centre

prayers:

will be lacking slp for nxt few days cos tmr, sat: am shift, then church. sunday: church then pm shift. mon: am shift aft tt meet up w friends. tue: am shift, mayb gg out. looking forward to off on wed, thu, fri.

that i'll really love n care abt ppl ard me n not jus so obsessed with my life. basically, to be in the centre of His will, not mine.

tt i'll b able to get the documents from my sis and bro as they are my surety but its hard as they are seldom at home. kinda urgent, got to submit it soon for my adv dip.

Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

and to guard me from demonic wisdom... self-seeking? confusion?

thank God for:

great day, slept till 1pm. it was awesome!

retreat with God, great time releasing all thats within me, my worries, my burden to the Lord, to pray and once again commit my plans to Him, affirming my trust and faith in Him, worshipping Him and listening to His promises and assurance!

KAT- Kids Action Team. It's a monthly children minstry workers meet on the thu of every 1st wk. It always encourages me to read God's Word. I had fun with taboo and laughing at my own game! LOL! i really love this game. And to know that God appreciates me!

supper which is $12, cos i only had $13 in my wallet.

dont have to go for the cleaning job.

safe journey

for this book tt i'm gg start - keys to financial excellence by phil pringle fr NLB. Gd r/v fr Joyce Meyer, John Bevere & John C. Maxwell. think i really nd knowledge or assurance in regards to managing $$ according to how it may please God rather than what ppl say (everyone's advice varies anw).

and everything cos all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. =)

SLEEP!

gdnights!

hi, i'm actually very tired today due to lack of slp but still managed with God's strength. on am shift, then met 2 ins agent, then dinner and cell, then work.

thanksgiving-
for cell, we opened up alot to each other. today heard hw each of them came to the Lord. it was amazing!

i was posted to a rm tt apparantly lacked staff due to mc however, workload was very light, finished everything by 12pm!

joy, faith and trust in God!

an ans prayer
ytd when i went to work at the tuition centre, the toilet bowl was spoilt, it looks stuck and the water were overflowing, i kinda prayed for it and try to meddle with it... i mean sticking the end of the stick and digging out whatever i can. the water subsided. i dunno if it worked cos they off the water supply, i jus leave all to God and the nxt day i asked abt it again and they said they didnt call the plumber, the toilet bowl worked aft in subsided.

still confused over what ins to buy but i shouldnt let this issue distract me fr my priorities- loving God and ppl.

gd nights!

here's my thanksgiving for today, lets see...

today i woke up at 6.20am. thank God still can make it in time for work.

thk God for a lil sense of humour tt my collague has.
ME: why is dr. ____ face so black today? (i mean he's not as smiley as he usually is)
G: cos he's suntanned.
ME: huh????? *bursts in laughter

met up with manulife ins agent, thank God, find that the ins agent pretty gd, taught me hw to save money and not over commit. Only God knows what will happen in the future and i dont wish to spend the bulk of my $ on ins in which i may/may not use it. so i jus want a basic life protection plan and mayb one that pays for my hosp bills due to the rising med cost.

talking to tt ins agent also reminded me to thk God for really bad situations last yr tt taught me hw to save. thr's this period of time when one of my family member was hospitalised, all the tests and scans were so expensive! and thr's this time when my parents went overseas and i'm all on my own, leaving me with the home, the bills, my bro pocket $, groceries, etc. this gave me a mini experience of the coming stage in life that i might be in- having a hm, a family. Thank God too, for I know that He truly meet my needs, even when i dont see it then and felt so depressed abt everything and pitied myself. He was there and He brought me thru so I can learn and grow, look back and give thanks.

thk God for jojo, she sent me this email, helping me to rise early. I find it quite useful. It says we should decide what time we wake up the night before and not leave the most impt decision when we wake up as we will not be in the alert state of mind to decide whats best. what a paradigm shift! it motivates me to make impt decision and pack impt stuff in my bag the night before instead of leaving it till tmr morning!

thk God i can nap 4hrs
for time to pray during travel
for time to think of ice breaker/prepare lesson during travel
for time to wash car
tt my eyes is on Him
for food
for parents, for strawberries and mango, for house
basically everything! =)

Pray for me, find myself in time and money constraint sometimes, need wisdom to manage time and money. nonetheless, i know God will meet my needs for He said He is my Provider. He said He will give wisdom to those who ask. And has always proven so. Holding on to Him, His promises and His truth, trusting and being satisfied in Him alone even in times of difficulty! I'm happy and blessed!

hello everybody again!
decided to pen down my thanksgiving everyday, to intentionally sit down and blog abt what God is doing in my life!
okay, so here you go for today,

thank God i can borrow touchpoint from NLB, the verses really speaks to me in my life- not doing the things that you felt should do is also sinning. God speaks through consience too. Someone in my cell always says, "i'd rather hear God wrongly and make mistakes than to not do it and disobey God." Of course everything we do should be validated by the absolute Word.

there are things i should do, like f/u w fw n sis, being accountable to new cell, ex cell, tim, praying, and being responsible as a cso in sjab but not doing.

Am also reminded of being Christlike- for the Son of man come to serve and not to be served.

thank God for cell grp & church, spoke to my heart (yea, lately have been thinking alot abt $$, thinking abt hw little i earned and hw it surely wouldnt be enuff for petrol, car, studies, house, marriage, family if i have and retirement even with consistent 30% savings. what's more? i hope to do missions and that needs cost too. No matter how i calculate, it is never enough and i get so tired thinking abt hw to earn more $$).

Then on wed, one of my cell mate shared abt her family holding on to a story of how this grp of missionaries gave rice to the poor, there are so many ppl it seems like the rice is never enuff but they still keep giving by faith and the rice doesnt seem to finish. So even when her dad loses his job, they looked to God. if they were to calculate, its never enuff, yet they still survived all these years!

Also, that I should put on the armour of God everyday! yea, its been a long time since i'm reminded of it... shield of faith, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, gospel of peeace, helmet of salvation... praying always... for our struggle is not against flesh and bld but against ... spriritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms...

and also to obey God.

and on sunday, i'm once again reminded that i shouldnt limit God, that i must know who that is in me, that i need to surrender the culture and traditions (to be rich/millionaire) cos they are like cracks in a bowl that is preventing me from being filled, and assured me that He will repair what is broken (my faith) and release me into my destiny.

it was then i realise money has taken a hold on me. i could very well psycho myself to think that if i have more money, i can give to others and extend God's kingdom, how noble... but then i am subtly putting money first cos i'm looking to money instead of God to accomplish great things. i almost lost faith in God when i did that.

Yes, the Lord examines my heart and i thank God for His mercy, for bringing me back to His heart. =)

Though right now, I am still working part time (cleaning up a tuition centre, 1h/day, mon-fri @ serangoon north ave 1, earning 12/hr) I work with peace and joy, with faith in God that He is the source of my income, that He will meet my needs and with a clear conscience before God as He continue to examine my heart. =)

thank God also, cos my boss at the tuition centre is really really very nice!

thank God for my bro who sometimes drive me to work

thank God for manageable duties today

thank God for joy and faith in Him again, i felt so released, so free

thank God that most of my request are granted so i can attend church and cell

thank God that i can sleep! haha

GOODNIGHT!

grace

hellO everybody! it's been awhile! have been re reading my blog entries and it sort of encouraged me and reminded me about why i have a blog in the first place. And, since I've decided, with a clear purpose, I will keep blogging as much as I can. Sorry ppl for not updating, now here's one, for a 2nd start.

Recently I've discovered something I thought was meaningful. I realised that only when I have experienced, knowledge then becomes alive, and practical to me.

Someone ever told me, if you choose to hold on tightly to unforgiveness and anger, you are like holding on tightly to a blade with your bare hands which the person who hurt you/arouse your anger had thrown. He throws the blade, walks away and life goes on for him while you catch the blade, was hurt and continue hurting if you hold on to it.

Recently, my dad made me really angry by accusing me abt sth I did not do. He mentioned it once, twice and I've already nicely told him that I havent done it. But to keep pushing the blame to me for sth I have not done the third or the fourth time really made me blast at him. It was wrong of him to accuse me but it is also wrong of me to have blasted at him. I guess its true, ppl who are hurt will tend to hurt others. I was hurt, I blasted at my dad, my dad was hurt and he blasted at my mum at the slightest irritation, my mum was hurt, but thank God for her wisdom, she stopped the cycle. I thought of Jesus being so calm and cool before Herod and Pilate with all those accusations. A humble heart and trust in the Father to judge fairly. It's an area where I need His grace as I work on it. The anger was somehow shortlived when my attention was on the tv and after that, work. But the next day, it came back again, everytime when I think of how he accused me. I have so much to say, "How can he say that of me? Can't he find out the truth first? He's so irritating..." and it goes on. It was then I realised I have to let go of the blade in my hand. God always knows whats best for me, that is, to forgive as he commanded.

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8

As freely as I've recieved GRACE, let me give too.

"How am I suppose to love ppl who constantly put me down, fake! despises me, dont even care abt me or how i feel, dishonest, rude, so unfair, dont like me, undeserving of my love???

-sharon (this is sth i struggled a lil bit more than usual lately in my workplace)

"But you cannot give to others what you have not received yourself, and so my hope is that, as you learn how much God loves you, you'll also let him heal your heart so that his love can flow freely through you. It's impossible to love others until you really feel loved yourself."

-daily hope with rick warren

"Ï'm reminded that I am too, a recipient of God's great UNCONDITIONAL love and mercy, even when I'm so undeserving."

-sharon

Jus today i was thinking abt money, calculating how long would i nd to save (and scrimp) for a house in sg, say cheapest 200k? it would take 55 yrs, setting aside 300/mth!!! then what if i get married, say another 100k? that would be 25.25 yrs!!! and, then retirement, say i work till 67? and live till 100? another 33 yrs. if i spent 500 a mth, it would be approx 200k!!! that will be another 55 yrs!!! opps i didnt include my cpf. still, i think it would only decrease the years i have to scrimp and save by half which comes up to abt 68 years? Salary overseas seemed much much greener. I really wonder how my dadd feed 6 ppl and still able to buy a house and a car. God's provision really. As a child, I used to think that i'll be rich when i work but well, not anymore bcos now i am more far sighted than before. Its so "FAN4" to think abt such things. Thats why i nd an insurance, i guess all financial consultant will say so. Haha. Guess what? and so happen i'm on psalms 78!

PSALMS 78
11 They forgot what he had done—
the great wonders he had shown them,
12 the miracles he did for their ancestors
on the plain of Zoan in the land of Egypt.
13 For he divided the sea and led them through,
making the water stand up like walls!
14 In the daytime he led them by a cloud,
and all night by a pillar of fire.
15 He split open the rocks in the wilderness
to give them water, as from a gushing spring.
16 He made streams pour from the rock,
making the waters flow down like a river!

17 Yet they kept on sinning against him,
rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
18 They stubbornly tested God in their hearts,
demanding the foods they craved.
19 They even spoke against God himself, saying,
“God can’t give us food in the wilderness.
20 Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out,
but he can’t give his people bread and meat.”
21 When the Lord heard them, he was furious.
The fire of his wrath burned against Jacob.
Yes, his anger rose against Israel,
22 for they did not believe God
or trust him to care for them.

Yes, like the Isrealites, sometimes, I forgot I have a rich Daddy God! If money were to consume all my time, energy, mind and soul, if i slogged and save so hard to give myself a decent life here on earth, and at the end of my life, I find myself having nth at all, maybe jus skull and bones, I guess thats sth really sad. Not at all like the abundant life God promises. But as I seek Him and His kingdom first, as I bless others with the little that I have, He gave me so much more, it may not be materially but i'm blessed bcos i know Him more. I felt that is the greatest blessing anyone could have. To have a real relationship with God and to know Him more. To obey Him and to live out His purposes and as I do so, to trust that He will meet my needs, even physcial ones. He provided me with a job, with abundance of food at home! As I remembered how he provided for me during mission trip, as i remembered how i passed each exam when i have lesser time to study in poly than the rest of my friends, as i remembered how he healed me when i was sick, as i remembered how he spoke personally to me, words of love, words of confidence, words of encouragement... how he had been so very near. As He divinely meet me and showed me He is all the Bible says He is, Love, Merciful, Patient, My Provider, My Healer, The Rock, Giver of all good things, how then can I not trust Him to care for me? I think I'd be so foolish to say I cant trust God after all the things He had done in my life and the lives of so many others, in the past and present.

When I left with only skull and bones which I cannot even bring with me,
I have You with me for eternity.

Thats the best thing man!

its been a long and tiring day.
talked to God with mixed emotions.
was it bcos of the over commitment of activities?
well, maybe.
is it bcos of post night?
could be too.
its one of the days whr thr's so many why God.
why did i find myself doing so much? loving, praying, hoping, giving... yet i cant even trace a fruit sprouting out of the tree.
everything seemed so futile.
why God am i feeling so dissapionted and frustrated?
i dont want to feel so.
i should trust in You right?

Then I went to run and swam and run. Its the adrenaline rush or rather the release of emotions. From home to pool, 30 laps and back home. On the way home, I had stiches and backache. As I was about to stop, these words came. Keep running, keep loving, keep praying, keep hoping, it's painful, its hard, it can be dissapionting and frustrating but keep on going. Perservere, you will see the finish line. I ran all the way back home.

Lord, will you hold my hand as we run this race together? Cos its hard,

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagle, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31)

I give thanks bcos You are near. (Psalms 75:1) =)

new template

I like my new template, thank God it isnt very time consuming! =)

Its been a very busy week with farewells, gatherings, kids camp. Its been a mad rush and i felt so tired. Totally neglected my source of strength and help. Yet, God is always good and He is always faithful. When I turn to Him, He is always there =)
In the midst of activities, I found Him again, being so real. Just felt Him drawing me back to His loving arms again, back to the closeness we once shared.

I desire worship, not sacrifice. I desire a relationship with you more than what you can do for me bcos I love you so much. -GOD-

happy birthday!

i cant slp cos i slept 3 hrs in the afternoon.

Anw, i still have much to thank God for!
Thank for for transport home sometimes, thank God for friends who cele my bday and all the well wishes, thank God for difficult situations at work that didnt have serious consequences (things could be worse if no one intervene), in fact, those difficult situations have turned into precious lessons. Thank God for bringing me thru kids service week after week, even though i'm not so gd at public speaking/teaching/leading/thinking of games, but i must say it is really GOD. Thank God for christian friends surrounding me, they have been a great form of encouragement, thank God... many a times, i keep praying cos i jus know, i need HIM more and more, cos i really dunno what i will do... jus felt so blur sometimes...
yet i know the bible says if anyone lack wisdom, he should ask, ask and it'll be given... i need memory, i need wisdom, i need to be alert and meticulous... i'm still learning. i need to ask God. There's more still to thank God for, the earth, the air, the life that i have, the pair of hands that i have, the job, the $$$ and... and the internet, oh yes, i almost forgot!! =) and hearing from jx at the nyp sccc alumni gathering has been a great encouragement too... to hearing and seeing how his life transformed from one not so sociable, abit beng boy in yr 1 to now... one that is so encouraging, sharing his life and one that is truly being set free from bitterness! I see him glow now, in God's glory =)

and pray together with me that my sis, tc and myself can find find a suitable cell and church. i know thr's no perfect church/cell, for me, its jus one tt i dont nd to request off on sun and yet able to attend cos i cant request off on weekends and also, a cell that is on weekday... hopefully similar age grp, easier to relate to (thanks eileen for that!), main focus is of cos God and being in the center of His will. cos being a christian is not jus abt me growing alone with God. what yw say is so true. thanks. talking to yw and jl, my collaugue also helped me realised an old lesson. that if we ddint on the engine, the wheel cant be steered. so i have to move first, and not jus pray and pray without moving... as i move, God will steer =)

hello again!

after mths without technology...

hello again! =)

bought a new PC (shared with my sis)!
yay!

i met up with tc ytd, and i thought this is interesting =)
he shared this,
sometimes after service/bs/dg you felt that you have just eaten good food. maybe rice with crab, crayfish, fish soup and durains? you felt so satisfied.
in such times, give thanks.

there are also times after service/bs/dg you felt that you have only ate plain porrigde.
in such times, pray. pray for your pastor, ur bsl, your dgl becos they may b gg thru tough times, mayb they may be far from God or have doubts. maybe like job who lost all his sons and daughters? well, we never know, but God knows.

thats what family are for! everyone plays a part! =)

one more nice place!
korean food at park mall =)
i like cos very lil ppl.

thank God for great friends. Friends that I can really be myself and be vulnerable =) really felt refreshed and recharged aft such meetups.
really TT