THANK GOD FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!! I'M BLESSED BY ALL OF U!!!
in chronological order (groups):
to my- YU family, esp my dearie bro, sam: thanks i know all of ur love for me... *elated*
to my dearest NR0514: you girls and guy really gave me a shock!!! lol. u all can join TCS... no sorry is media corp... never leaked out a single clue. i really didnt expect tt! ha. but it was great! u were sweet! *surprised!!!*
to my lovable fellow crusaders: whoa! u girls & guys are really really sweet!!! *encouraged*
to my wonderful nissi 1 aspiration: haha... thanks for being there with me every step of the way! *remembered*
to the ultimate sat PKC team: heys... u all huh... though i expected a surprise but i really didnt expect tt kind of surprise! thank God didnt have diarrhoea. haha. but seriously enjoyed being in suspense too! *disgusted yet enjoyed*
to everyone: ur messages, gifts, sweat and bld (those who took time to plan&shop), effort, crazy ideas, even ur prayers (dont under estimate prayers k... tested and proven. cos God hears & He's far awesomely great than we can eva imagine!) really warms my heart, be it in the form of sms, letter, cards, etc. even if it is jus a simple greeting like, "happy birthday!" i appreciate tt! bcos i noe tt diff ppl expresses their love diff. it's ok if u dont rem my birthday... i think it is not the birthday that matters... it is really true friendship that matters (cos i'm someone who forgets birthday easily too though many are my dear friends... im not a detailed person... ahhh) anw, i really feel loved and contented...
last but not least: wanna thank God... i've been asking for a touch, a renewed spirit cos i've been really dried up spiritually cos of the choices i make and the things i choose to hold on to or place more impt.
thank God.
i know only one thing tt can satisfy me... haha. i asked and He gave, love, grace, hope, peace & joy onve again! right on my birthday! :)
"My soul finds rest in God alone"Ps 62:1
hey and other friends who dont noe my birthday or noe but didnt wish or didnt get me anything, please please dont feel bad k. the truth is, it is the friendship that matters... i will still choose to love u & not bear any grudges. i choose to love u without any condition... yet many a times by my own humanly and selfish nature, i always struggled with that... to love someone only when someone loves me. no, but i do not want tt bcos i desire for a pure heart. to love others like how Jesus would. though i'm not an perfect example of Christ, yet i believe He's continue moulding me, kicking of my bad habits, breakng bondages of sin in my life, convicting me & helping me to realise where i really am and helping me to change- to be more like Him! :)
Monday, November 20, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
FRIENDS...
i really thank God for them!!! :) :) :)
Micheal W. Smith - Friends Lyrics
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Mean the chapter in your life is through
BRIDGE:
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
CHORUS:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
BRIDGE CHORUS(2x)
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
At first i couldnt catch what the song is abt... the thing that attracted me was only the chorus & the tune at first but aft studying the lyrics repeatedly, i begin to make meaning out of it. i feel that the writer probably wrote this song for a friend that will be leaving him. i think the chorus is nice... enjoy... to my friends, i love u!!! *hugs* :) :) :)
i really thank God for them!!! :) :) :)
Micheal W. Smith - Friends Lyrics
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Mean the chapter in your life is through
BRIDGE:
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
CHORUS:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
BRIDGE CHORUS(2x)
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
At first i couldnt catch what the song is abt... the thing that attracted me was only the chorus & the tune at first but aft studying the lyrics repeatedly, i begin to make meaning out of it. i feel that the writer probably wrote this song for a friend that will be leaving him. i think the chorus is nice... enjoy... to my friends, i love u!!! *hugs* :) :) :)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
jus wanna thank God after so long. it's been awhile u've heard from me i guess. throughout, thr's ups & downs but i thank God He still loves me. thr r many times when i struggled thoughts. thoughts like, "oh no, thr's really so much to do" & i set my mind on the things i need to do. i ended up stressed. have u had such experience? sometimes at night, i couldn't slp. somtimes in the morning, i jus don't wanna wake up, prob running away frm reality. tt was wat happen 3 weeks after the mission trip?? i seriously didnt expect tt. probably, i was a little too complacent when i thought that my stuff was more impt than God...
anw, on sat, we had some community event whr we hold an elderly hand for a walkathon. the aim was to get the old ppl out for walks. got to hear some interesting sharings from this old man tt's really encouraging. do enjoyed the time! then back to church. during the before service prayer, somehow i felt thr's this heaviness in my heart. i can't seem to seek God face to face. thoughts like, "u haven't been putting God first, who are u to come to Him again? u r always stuck in the sin-confess-sin-confess cycle, u r not worthy to come back to Him..." i didn't realise it was satan's lies. i remember someone said, the difference between satan's voice & the Holy Spirit's voice is satan's one is condeming but the Holy Spirit one is a gentle reminder, a conviction in ur heart. so we went on with praise & worship. didn't feel like jumping... anw, i tried to be sincere as possible in worship cos i noe God looks at the heart. tt day's sermon was on pleasing God. i really want to please God. so i went forward. at the altar, i really pour everything to Him, i told Him all tt i'm feeling & wat's in me... i told Him i really wanna please Him & love Him with all my heart... then someone prayed for me. The only thing tt struck me in the prayer was 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful & just to forgive our sins & cleanse us from all unrighteousness" at once, those condeming thoughts left me & i knew from my heart, i'm forgiven.
then came sun. i woke up, the 1st thing i rem was God. i came before Him again. somehow, another sets of condeming thoughts came, thoughts like, "if God really love u, He'll speak to u with audible voice, thr's no power in ur prayer, u r so weak, u always fail..." i began to ask Him many qns like, "God, why do some ppl hear u with audible voice, why not me? why do u not show me very, very great signs & wonders?" after talking to Him for some time & being still before Him, God showed me that all the negative thought i had were lies from the evil one [i confessed & asked for His forgiveness] & He showed me that He's always speaking to me. He created me in such a way to recognise this sort of His voice. God created everyone different & of course the way He speaks to us is also different. God even reminded me once again of the so many miracles that i've seen in thailand, & even in Lighthouse miracle service... i began to counter those thoughts 1 by 1 with the word of God. God says,"I love u", He says "u r worthy, u r a child of God." He says "ask anything in My name that is according to the will of the Father & it'll be given to u", He says, "ur weaknesses is made perfect in My strength", He says, "My grace is sufficient for u", He says, "I've overcomed the world". I really felt love again & freedom. though i'm in the midst of storm (busyness) but i hold on to Him who's sovereign & in control. Most of all, faithful & trustworthy...
even wanna thank God on mon. though do have many things to do, still i kept my eyes on Him, telling Him i'm trusting Him to guide me in everything, leaving everything into His hands. whatever happens in prayer meeting is definately God! Then wed, v. amazingly when i came hm frm meeting eileen ong (haha. need to put surname cos i got 2 friends by the name of eileen!) it started to drizzle. told God please dont let it pour heavily till i reached the shelter. it drizzled till i was safe & sound at hm then it started to pour heavily. & when i'm gg to sch for lm, it started to drizzle again. once again i told God, pls let me reach sch before it rain heavily. i trust u... & God did again! thank God not only for ans my praying but He really knows when i needed those encouragement from Him. those ans prayers... it really assured me of His love for me so strongly!
There's jus too much to thank God for that i can't blog finish... haha. even wanna thank God for today's sj training. i'm beginning to really love my girls... really... haha. i actually enjoyed them & don't find it a dread to organise training anymore. honestly, the previous com training... i was really stress, tired & burnt out... but now i'm beginning to find the joy! though its a really short period of time & short of trainers too, i jus wanna give all i can to them & wish them all the best!
i'll continue to trust God and fix my eyes on Him!!! :)
anw, on sat, we had some community event whr we hold an elderly hand for a walkathon. the aim was to get the old ppl out for walks. got to hear some interesting sharings from this old man tt's really encouraging. do enjoyed the time! then back to church. during the before service prayer, somehow i felt thr's this heaviness in my heart. i can't seem to seek God face to face. thoughts like, "u haven't been putting God first, who are u to come to Him again? u r always stuck in the sin-confess-sin-confess cycle, u r not worthy to come back to Him..." i didn't realise it was satan's lies. i remember someone said, the difference between satan's voice & the Holy Spirit's voice is satan's one is condeming but the Holy Spirit one is a gentle reminder, a conviction in ur heart. so we went on with praise & worship. didn't feel like jumping... anw, i tried to be sincere as possible in worship cos i noe God looks at the heart. tt day's sermon was on pleasing God. i really want to please God. so i went forward. at the altar, i really pour everything to Him, i told Him all tt i'm feeling & wat's in me... i told Him i really wanna please Him & love Him with all my heart... then someone prayed for me. The only thing tt struck me in the prayer was 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful & just to forgive our sins & cleanse us from all unrighteousness" at once, those condeming thoughts left me & i knew from my heart, i'm forgiven.
then came sun. i woke up, the 1st thing i rem was God. i came before Him again. somehow, another sets of condeming thoughts came, thoughts like, "if God really love u, He'll speak to u with audible voice, thr's no power in ur prayer, u r so weak, u always fail..." i began to ask Him many qns like, "God, why do some ppl hear u with audible voice, why not me? why do u not show me very, very great signs & wonders?" after talking to Him for some time & being still before Him, God showed me that all the negative thought i had were lies from the evil one [i confessed & asked for His forgiveness] & He showed me that He's always speaking to me. He created me in such a way to recognise this sort of His voice. God created everyone different & of course the way He speaks to us is also different. God even reminded me once again of the so many miracles that i've seen in thailand, & even in Lighthouse miracle service... i began to counter those thoughts 1 by 1 with the word of God. God says,"I love u", He says "u r worthy, u r a child of God." He says "ask anything in My name that is according to the will of the Father & it'll be given to u", He says, "ur weaknesses is made perfect in My strength", He says, "My grace is sufficient for u", He says, "I've overcomed the world". I really felt love again & freedom. though i'm in the midst of storm (busyness) but i hold on to Him who's sovereign & in control. Most of all, faithful & trustworthy...
even wanna thank God on mon. though do have many things to do, still i kept my eyes on Him, telling Him i'm trusting Him to guide me in everything, leaving everything into His hands. whatever happens in prayer meeting is definately God! Then wed, v. amazingly when i came hm frm meeting eileen ong (haha. need to put surname cos i got 2 friends by the name of eileen!) it started to drizzle. told God please dont let it pour heavily till i reached the shelter. it drizzled till i was safe & sound at hm then it started to pour heavily. & when i'm gg to sch for lm, it started to drizzle again. once again i told God, pls let me reach sch before it rain heavily. i trust u... & God did again! thank God not only for ans my praying but He really knows when i needed those encouragement from Him. those ans prayers... it really assured me of His love for me so strongly!
There's jus too much to thank God for that i can't blog finish... haha. even wanna thank God for today's sj training. i'm beginning to really love my girls... really... haha. i actually enjoyed them & don't find it a dread to organise training anymore. honestly, the previous com training... i was really stress, tired & burnt out... but now i'm beginning to find the joy! though its a really short period of time & short of trainers too, i jus wanna give all i can to them & wish them all the best!
i'll continue to trust God and fix my eyes on Him!!! :)
Friday, October 27, 2006
Love iis the Greatest
If i could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didnt love others. I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If i had the gift of prophecy, and if i understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if i had such faith that i could move mountains, but didnt love others, i would be nothing. If i gave everything i have to the poor and even sacrified my body, i could have boast about it, but if i didnt love others, i would have gained nothing. [1cor 1-3]
Really love this verse taken from NLT version
-Copied & pasted from Angie's blog-
Haha. i love this verse too. I think love is the greatest. U could give a thousand presents, a million nice, sweet sounding words, a billion helping hands, a trillion listening ear but w/o love... it is nth... it bcomes jus an act. But if all that u gave is only words, a small gift, a little note or jus simply a hug but it came with so much love & so much sincerity... even the smallest gift to others could meant the biggest to u! Just like how margie gave me a small bear, though i've always thought tt bear is an impractical present... but i truly treasured it cos i felt tt love & sincerity so much. It changed my views, my perspective totally to buy a bear as a gift... i'm amazed by the change in me... now, i'd digged out all my previous beary presents to look & appreciate & just to love them. i'm jus so thankful for whatever things that comes along my way cos i believe tt it was out of love tt ppl gave bcos i'm not some big person who ppl needs to curry favor... ur results/promotions/salary r not in my hands... haha. so i can b assured of ur sincerity. Haha. Nah... Jus joking la.
Some ppl show LOVE thru gifts,
Some, show LOVE thru actions,
Some, show LOVE thru words.
I'd appreciate them all cos it was out of LOVE that u GAVE.
Anw, I jus wanna say a BIG THANK U to those who've loved me... It's not the gift itself but really the love that comes along with it...
THANKS SO MUCH!!! :)
In Christ Love,
Sharon Yu
If i could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didnt love others. I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If i had the gift of prophecy, and if i understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if i had such faith that i could move mountains, but didnt love others, i would be nothing. If i gave everything i have to the poor and even sacrified my body, i could have boast about it, but if i didnt love others, i would have gained nothing. [1cor 1-3]
Really love this verse taken from NLT version
-Copied & pasted from Angie's blog-
Haha. i love this verse too. I think love is the greatest. U could give a thousand presents, a million nice, sweet sounding words, a billion helping hands, a trillion listening ear but w/o love... it is nth... it bcomes jus an act. But if all that u gave is only words, a small gift, a little note or jus simply a hug but it came with so much love & so much sincerity... even the smallest gift to others could meant the biggest to u! Just like how margie gave me a small bear, though i've always thought tt bear is an impractical present... but i truly treasured it cos i felt tt love & sincerity so much. It changed my views, my perspective totally to buy a bear as a gift... i'm amazed by the change in me... now, i'd digged out all my previous beary presents to look & appreciate & just to love them. i'm jus so thankful for whatever things that comes along my way cos i believe tt it was out of love tt ppl gave bcos i'm not some big person who ppl needs to curry favor... ur results/promotions/salary r not in my hands... haha. so i can b assured of ur sincerity. Haha. Nah... Jus joking la.
Some ppl show LOVE thru gifts,
Some, show LOVE thru actions,
Some, show LOVE thru words.
I'd appreciate them all cos it was out of LOVE that u GAVE.
Anw, I jus wanna say a BIG THANK U to those who've loved me... It's not the gift itself but really the love that comes along with it...
THANKS SO MUCH!!! :)
In Christ Love,
Sharon Yu
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
heylo jus to share with u some pics of the mission trip! i love thai! haha! enjoy... :)the americans frm tanesee (hope i get the spelling correct) [clockwise, only americans]: marilyn-> tommy-> sue-> daniel-> rob-> kathy!! love them!
my team (clockwise)->samuel, eileen, sara, me, su yi, mylene, yanxiang, lily, christine, elsa!!!
my singing buddy cum gummy bear! hur hur...
a little boy, captured at United Ministries, Pattaya by Samuel Lim (nice shot! isnt it?)
"What would you do? Will you continue to look on and ignore the Living Water that has been given to you at a price that only He can afford? Would you take it and tell the rest of the people about it? What would you do?
-Adapted from Samuel Lim's blog-
God's creation, captured at Jontien beach by Samuel Lim
"Magnificant isn't it? Imagine God reaching out to you from heaven. It's just too awesome."
-Adapted from Samuel Lim's blog-
"How great is God!"
that's all... there's more... but its with either sam/sara... :)
hello. havent beeen updating. whoa. but recently there's just so many things tt happened tt i'm really thankful/grateful for, though i'm physically, mentally & emotionally tired/down but God still encourages me!
let me look into my journal and see what i can tell u abt. :)
20/10/06
oh i was late for attachment cos didnt set my alarm... was too tired. but now i learnt to set alarm when i'm on mornings (bad example or rather habit but its the truth... still working on tt... friends u know me... haha. give me time k.) oh anw, was reminded to focus on Him despite the circumstances & it didnt turned out too bad. LOL. my CI even thanked me for informing her tt i'm late on my own initiative. she said tt was v. nice of me. huh? oh. thanks. but pls. its not a gd testimony cos being late doesnt glorify God, right? :)
21/10/06
Today, God encouraged me! we had our SMAG grp meeting with mylene, elsa, JC & me. we shared abt hw was our week & God showed us all a part of the huge puzzle. He showed us how He used mylene to teach me tt ministry starts everwhere & how he used what i have learnt to cause JC to pray for the man at her workplace & it in turns encourages candice to pray too. oh & today's YI sermon was really great! abt Eph 6:10-18. it was abt prayer! tt's my heart for YI too... i think tt's the correct focus! abt God & His words... i felt God ans prayers! oh, btw, rem the lady i wanted to pray for? i wanted to give up but God encouraged me thru tt sermon to press on... :)
22/10/06
lately i felt all the excitement dying down... but i noe faith is not abt feelings... so i cont trusted God (cos He've proved to me tt He is worth tt trust). I realise tt the more i feel tt i'm losing the focus/passion, the more i should pray... today woke up, praise, worshipped & thank God for all the things He've done lately. Prayed & covered my whole house. it was wonderful! There was really a BIG difference in my hm. Amazingly, my sis agreed to watch LE sermons, read the bible & go to church! My younger bro played Don Moen Christian Music... they dont ususally do so... my sis would usually either go out, slp, talk on the phone/watch tv. my bro would play games/msn. watched the LE sermon too by Ps Rony Tan. Amazingly, he too, talked abt Eph 6:10-18! Isnt tt too much of a coincidence?
oh. today went LE W with my sis. initially, thought it was a boring sermon... yawn alot... but i was reminded tt thr's a purpose for everything. so i asked God what is that He wants me to learnt cos i do not want to waste my time thr. As I began to seek, He began to show. Sth that speaks to my heart was "1. God is still sovereignly in charge of everything. 2. nothing can happen to me w/o God knowledge. 3. For we know that all things works for the good of those who love Him. 4. He makes intercession for me (Heb 7:25)-> I didnt know tt!" I'm so encouraged & comforted to hear tt. oh. & God really changed my stearotyped thinking abt tt pastor!
23/10/06
A stressful day. Also prayed alot... ha. well... i felt tt God wants me to apologise if not He wouldnt show me tt i'm in the wrong during tt mission trip. Anw, was really scared cos it was a long time ever since we talked & i really didnt know how to start. I did stumbled here & thr but still managed. Thank God. Phew! Oh. i was stress abt the P&W i need to lead then after too. but thank God, God still reminded me tt He's sovereignly in control though w.o guitar. Amazingly when it started, i didnt panicked...
24/10/06
Went to this sjab duty to transport old ppl to a catholic service. it was a gd experience cos its the 1st time i saw a catholic service... those ppl r nice & i did pray for them too.
25/10/06
A very very nice catholic lady went away today. I prayed for her too. I wonder why God placed so many catholics in my path lately... I saw uncle philip (a complete stranger with a green car, also another catholic) on my way to NYP today. He jus talked to me so I talked to him. well, still praying... haha. :)
tt's all folks.
let me look into my journal and see what i can tell u abt. :)
20/10/06
oh i was late for attachment cos didnt set my alarm... was too tired. but now i learnt to set alarm when i'm on mornings (bad example or rather habit but its the truth... still working on tt... friends u know me... haha. give me time k.) oh anw, was reminded to focus on Him despite the circumstances & it didnt turned out too bad. LOL. my CI even thanked me for informing her tt i'm late on my own initiative. she said tt was v. nice of me. huh? oh. thanks. but pls. its not a gd testimony cos being late doesnt glorify God, right? :)
21/10/06
Today, God encouraged me! we had our SMAG grp meeting with mylene, elsa, JC & me. we shared abt hw was our week & God showed us all a part of the huge puzzle. He showed us how He used mylene to teach me tt ministry starts everwhere & how he used what i have learnt to cause JC to pray for the man at her workplace & it in turns encourages candice to pray too. oh & today's YI sermon was really great! abt Eph 6:10-18. it was abt prayer! tt's my heart for YI too... i think tt's the correct focus! abt God & His words... i felt God ans prayers! oh, btw, rem the lady i wanted to pray for? i wanted to give up but God encouraged me thru tt sermon to press on... :)
22/10/06
lately i felt all the excitement dying down... but i noe faith is not abt feelings... so i cont trusted God (cos He've proved to me tt He is worth tt trust). I realise tt the more i feel tt i'm losing the focus/passion, the more i should pray... today woke up, praise, worshipped & thank God for all the things He've done lately. Prayed & covered my whole house. it was wonderful! There was really a BIG difference in my hm. Amazingly, my sis agreed to watch LE sermons, read the bible & go to church! My younger bro played Don Moen Christian Music... they dont ususally do so... my sis would usually either go out, slp, talk on the phone/watch tv. my bro would play games/msn. watched the LE sermon too by Ps Rony Tan. Amazingly, he too, talked abt Eph 6:10-18! Isnt tt too much of a coincidence?
oh. today went LE W with my sis. initially, thought it was a boring sermon... yawn alot... but i was reminded tt thr's a purpose for everything. so i asked God what is that He wants me to learnt cos i do not want to waste my time thr. As I began to seek, He began to show. Sth that speaks to my heart was "1. God is still sovereignly in charge of everything. 2. nothing can happen to me w/o God knowledge. 3. For we know that all things works for the good of those who love Him. 4. He makes intercession for me (Heb 7:25)-> I didnt know tt!" I'm so encouraged & comforted to hear tt. oh. & God really changed my stearotyped thinking abt tt pastor!
23/10/06
A stressful day. Also prayed alot... ha. well... i felt tt God wants me to apologise if not He wouldnt show me tt i'm in the wrong during tt mission trip. Anw, was really scared cos it was a long time ever since we talked & i really didnt know how to start. I did stumbled here & thr but still managed. Thank God. Phew! Oh. i was stress abt the P&W i need to lead then after too. but thank God, God still reminded me tt He's sovereignly in control though w.o guitar. Amazingly when it started, i didnt panicked...
24/10/06
Went to this sjab duty to transport old ppl to a catholic service. it was a gd experience cos its the 1st time i saw a catholic service... those ppl r nice & i did pray for them too.
25/10/06
A very very nice catholic lady went away today. I prayed for her too. I wonder why God placed so many catholics in my path lately... I saw uncle philip (a complete stranger with a green car, also another catholic) on my way to NYP today. He jus talked to me so I talked to him. well, still praying... haha. :)
tt's all folks.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
HAHAHA. today played a very fun game with my fellow crusaders. there is only 1 rule. when anyone ask a qns, u must not ans. sounds simple?? haha. well, u gotta play it with the experts. it really takes a lot of brain juices to come out with qns tt can tricked the other party into answering and u have to always stay alert so as not to be tricked. it's really challenging to play with ppl like samuel and eugene... it trains ur mind... haha. LOL. and makes u slightly smarter. haha. was very tired initially but later became so excited! i was determined not to get trick but to trick others. haha... but failed many times initially. and when i finally managed to trick eugene, haha! i was elated. LOL. failure is the mother of success. heh.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
jus had a wonderful time with God. it didnt started well. seriously, i'm so weak. i'm easily affected by the things that i can see and touch... i did stumble and fall but i'm glad His grace is sufficient for me.
i tried slping at 1am. i couldnt. suddenly thr's jus so much on my mind. worrying. planning... i couldnt control myself, the thoughts jus and keep coming. i did prayed but soon, i find my mind wander off again. i know the facts. i know God is real, He'll provide whateva I need, He has ald proved to me so many many times, I know thr's really no pt worrying if i dont do anything abt it, i know I just have to trust Him... but i jus cant control my thoughts. i hate tossing and turning in bed like that. this really forced me to get up. i decided to fill my mind with God's word.
I read and read... trust in the Lord... ... then suddenly this verse strucked me. "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened" Ps. 66:18 (NIV)
I've always known this but didn't have a biblical reference. anyway, i stopped to ask God... He revealed that I havent been putting Him first and I habored pride unknowingly in my heart. I thought I'm becoming more godly, unknowingly becoming more critical towards others too. No man can be godly without the power of God. I've come to realise tt i do struggle... i'm really weak. It is only in God that I can find strength. Lord, please forgive my iniquities...
D G A7
O let the Son of God enfold you
D Bm
With His Spirit and His love
G A7 D D7
Let Him fill heart and satisfy you soul
G A7
O let Him have the things that hold you
D Bm
And His Spirit like a dove
G A7
Will descend upon your life
D
And make you whole
G A7 F#mBm G A7 D D7
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill Your lambs
G A7 F#mBm G A7 D
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill Your lambs
G A7
O come and sing this song with gladness
D Bm
As your hearts are filled with joy
G A7 D D7
Lift your hands in sweet surrender to His name
G A7
O give Him all your tears and sadness
D Bm
Give Him all your years of pain
G A7 D
And you'll enter into life in Jesus' name
i tried slping at 1am. i couldnt. suddenly thr's jus so much on my mind. worrying. planning... i couldnt control myself, the thoughts jus and keep coming. i did prayed but soon, i find my mind wander off again. i know the facts. i know God is real, He'll provide whateva I need, He has ald proved to me so many many times, I know thr's really no pt worrying if i dont do anything abt it, i know I just have to trust Him... but i jus cant control my thoughts. i hate tossing and turning in bed like that. this really forced me to get up. i decided to fill my mind with God's word.
I read and read... trust in the Lord... ... then suddenly this verse strucked me. "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened" Ps. 66:18 (NIV)
I've always known this but didn't have a biblical reference. anyway, i stopped to ask God... He revealed that I havent been putting Him first and I habored pride unknowingly in my heart. I thought I'm becoming more godly, unknowingly becoming more critical towards others too. No man can be godly without the power of God. I've come to realise tt i do struggle... i'm really weak. It is only in God that I can find strength. Lord, please forgive my iniquities...
D G A7
O let the Son of God enfold you
D Bm
With His Spirit and His love
G A7 D D7
Let Him fill heart and satisfy you soul
G A7
O let Him have the things that hold you
D Bm
And His Spirit like a dove
G A7
Will descend upon your life
D
And make you whole
G A7 F#mBm G A7 D D7
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill Your lambs
G A7 F#mBm G A7 D
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill Your lambs
G A7
O come and sing this song with gladness
D Bm
As your hearts are filled with joy
G A7 D D7
Lift your hands in sweet surrender to His name
G A7
O give Him all your tears and sadness
D Bm
Give Him all your years of pain
G A7 D
And you'll enter into life in Jesus' name
Sunday, October 15, 2006
I think the difference between me, now and then was- I'm become more aware of God. Even though I know God is anytime, anywhere since young, I didn't really experience Him cos I didn't have that connection with Him. It's a choice of my own. Now I choose to connect with Him, throughout the day, telling Him all my thoughts and feelings, my joy, my thanksgiving, my praise, my sorrows, my confessions... everything. And I know He hears. He becomes more evident.
Yesterday, when I was in cellgrp, I suddenly felt a sense of loneliness, though I'm surrounded by so many ppl. (maybe bcos I missed my recent mission team so much! we really had so much fun! and maybe bcos I haven't really connect with them yet). So happen the sermon was on loneliness and there's so much God spoke to me abt thru tt sermon. It reminded me that I've loose my focus subconsciously. If I focus on God then I'll never feel lonely. But I choose to focus on my circumstances though I want to focus on God (cos it's just so easy to look at the things you can see and touch and neglecting the things we cannot see... the spiritual things that is real as well), just like wat daWL shared about Paul... what he want to do, he do not do & vice versa. God began convicting me. In cell, i'm not so proactive... the kind who sit & wait and not so sensitive to other ppl's needs. Maybe cos since young, I'm always the youngest in cellgrp so I'm always very well taken care of. But now God put me in a cell where most of them are younger than me to help me to change my attitudes. An environment for me to care for others, to be sensitive to their needs, like how the older korkor & jiejies of the past used to treat me.
Then during Power Kidz Church service, the kids were very distracted but I remember to focus on God, not circumstances and kept praying. Later on, God really encouraged me thru the kids as I see them quiet and listening and even clapped for the teachers!
Then today, I woke up. Though I tried to worship God, but I was also distracted by other thoughts and the hunger and thirst for God seems lesser. So I began to pray for a desire for God once again. Then I was abit sian... maybe discouraged. I thought I should be more godly, I shouldn't laze around wasting time... I should do this and that yet I did not do. Then, my dad ask me to watch this sermon from lighthouse by Ps Rony Tan. Initially, I don't want but later on I did so that my bro could watch it too. In the end, the sermon really spoke to my heart. Just when I needed them. It talks about how to live as a victorous christian. It doesn't mean that once you recieve Christ you'll be perfect. If that is so, what is John 1:9 for? and what will it means, "to look to the author and perfector of our faith" and also, "our weaknesses are made perfect in His strength"? We are not perfect but God is still in the process of moulding us to be more like Him. Take note: Is to be like God, not become God. We can never become God. Being a Christian is in the process of changing to be more Christ-like. If we thought that Christians are perfect ppl then we'll be so discouraged. Only God is perfect. Also, in the disc, there's a bonus segment of miracle service. When I saw so many lives are healed, changed and transformed, people out of pain, out of depression, out of gangs... ppl with broken family, abusive father, full of hatred and resentment, totally changed and in the process of changing still... It once again touched my heart and encouraged me to be praying more zealously for that lady. [if anyone
wants to watch can come to me... highly recommended]
I knew at once, God knows how am I feeling all these while. That is why He placed all these things to happen at that moment when I needed them. He knew exactly when I needed encouragement. He answered my prayers to have more desire for Him. I think in the past God does ans my prayers and see me thru, just tt i'm not aware cos I'm not connected with Him throughout. I think my weak point that often cause me to loose my focus is usually busy schedule. I'm chocked up with so much things to do that I neglected God. That's why I love hols so I could have a great retreat with God. I just pray that I will not stumble and fall when school reopens. Please pray for me too... oh. more than my own desires, may His will be done.
Anyway, PRAISE GOD!!!
Yesterday, when I was in cellgrp, I suddenly felt a sense of loneliness, though I'm surrounded by so many ppl. (maybe bcos I missed my recent mission team so much! we really had so much fun! and maybe bcos I haven't really connect with them yet). So happen the sermon was on loneliness and there's so much God spoke to me abt thru tt sermon. It reminded me that I've loose my focus subconsciously. If I focus on God then I'll never feel lonely. But I choose to focus on my circumstances though I want to focus on God (cos it's just so easy to look at the things you can see and touch and neglecting the things we cannot see... the spiritual things that is real as well), just like wat daWL shared about Paul... what he want to do, he do not do & vice versa. God began convicting me. In cell, i'm not so proactive... the kind who sit & wait and not so sensitive to other ppl's needs. Maybe cos since young, I'm always the youngest in cellgrp so I'm always very well taken care of. But now God put me in a cell where most of them are younger than me to help me to change my attitudes. An environment for me to care for others, to be sensitive to their needs, like how the older korkor & jiejies of the past used to treat me.
Then during Power Kidz Church service, the kids were very distracted but I remember to focus on God, not circumstances and kept praying. Later on, God really encouraged me thru the kids as I see them quiet and listening and even clapped for the teachers!
Then today, I woke up. Though I tried to worship God, but I was also distracted by other thoughts and the hunger and thirst for God seems lesser. So I began to pray for a desire for God once again. Then I was abit sian... maybe discouraged. I thought I should be more godly, I shouldn't laze around wasting time... I should do this and that yet I did not do. Then, my dad ask me to watch this sermon from lighthouse by Ps Rony Tan. Initially, I don't want but later on I did so that my bro could watch it too. In the end, the sermon really spoke to my heart. Just when I needed them. It talks about how to live as a victorous christian. It doesn't mean that once you recieve Christ you'll be perfect. If that is so, what is John 1:9 for? and what will it means, "to look to the author and perfector of our faith" and also, "our weaknesses are made perfect in His strength"? We are not perfect but God is still in the process of moulding us to be more like Him. Take note: Is to be like God, not become God. We can never become God. Being a Christian is in the process of changing to be more Christ-like. If we thought that Christians are perfect ppl then we'll be so discouraged. Only God is perfect. Also, in the disc, there's a bonus segment of miracle service. When I saw so many lives are healed, changed and transformed, people out of pain, out of depression, out of gangs... ppl with broken family, abusive father, full of hatred and resentment, totally changed and in the process of changing still... It once again touched my heart and encouraged me to be praying more zealously for that lady. [if anyone
wants to watch can come to me... highly recommended]
I knew at once, God knows how am I feeling all these while. That is why He placed all these things to happen at that moment when I needed them. He knew exactly when I needed encouragement. He answered my prayers to have more desire for Him. I think in the past God does ans my prayers and see me thru, just tt i'm not aware cos I'm not connected with Him throughout. I think my weak point that often cause me to loose my focus is usually busy schedule. I'm chocked up with so much things to do that I neglected God. That's why I love hols so I could have a great retreat with God. I just pray that I will not stumble and fall when school reopens. Please pray for me too... oh. more than my own desires, may His will be done.
Anyway, PRAISE GOD!!!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
God really put what I've learnt into practise. Of the long entry i wrote, let me summurise: Through the this mission trip, I desire to have a pure and tender heart and to be open to God's prompting anytime, anywhere...
This attachment is never the same. I thought my heart was already hardened. I thought I had seen it all... but this attachment is so different. No longer am I concerned about doing all the work (prarmeters, keeping the patients clean, clearing bedpans, making the ward look neat) but rather I'm concerned with the patients more. God really helped me to have a tender heart again- to really feel for ppl (He gave me when I was young but I lost it somehow)... I saw this lady who told me that she wanted to die. God's love really overwhelmes me at that moment. It just saddens my heart. I kept on telling her that she cannot go yet, she have yet to see the light... She told me that she have no chance to see that light. It reminded me of my dream (I dreamt that one of my friend is leaving the world and I was so scared cos I haven't tell her sth impt.) That was the same feeling, the same urgency... I pleaded to God for her. He gave me the desire to fast and pray... now I really understand that desire/burden to fast & pray... I never had it before. I used to fast cos everyone was doing so... now I'm serious. As she shared with me how many times she tried to commit suicide but was always saved. I think that's Grace. Even ytd, I heard she was about to jump but someone found her just in time and she was sent to IMH... it is really by the grace of God. Do join me in prayer for salvation of this lady...
It wasn't easy though, not only do I struggled with food, I struggled with tiredness and even my so humanly natured selfish thoughts... own desire of dieting (that's definately not my reason God prompted me to fast!). I know it's a temptation. I confessed many times and ask God for strength... He reminded me that He is my strength and He reminded me that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. I also asked to remain pure & tender at heart and He reminded me not to forget the things He had done in my life, how He touched my heart, etc... He reminded me to be urgent for the lost and filled me with compassion again... I prayed that I will never forget His heartbeat... how He feels for the lost...
He could easily change hearts but why does He allow me to go though such sufferings to bring the lost to Him? And yet I'm not perfect. Look how impure am I, struggling with so much? God says, He loves me and wants me to be part of His plan... He wants me to grow, to be more like Him... It is during this time when I'm at my weakest that I come to depend on Him more... Thank God for bringing me thru this day...
I remembered years ago, I was a lukewarm christian, a christian who never lived life victorously, a christian who's always hiding... but ever since He touched my heart by His love, I told Him that I desire Him and wants to be like Him... that was I think in 2003. I didn't had my prayers answered immediately, and I still feared and didn't have much faith in Him but like what He promised in His word, "Faith as small as a mustard seed moved mountains..." I went through alot still... It was only recently that I see my prayers answered. Even though I'm not faithful, He always is. He heard me the very moment I spoke to Him. I realised that God allowed so much things to happen in my life before He answered my prayers so that I'll be prepared for this moment when He gives me this desire... that I will know what to do with it...
I'm so thankful! Indeed. God has a time for everything (Ecc 3). "Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or asks for a fish, will give a serpant? If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to you children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good gifts to those who asks Him!" (Matt 7:7-11)
God desires YOU so much more than what you think. If you want to expereince His love yet do not have the desire, ASK. It may take a few days, a few months, a few years, a whole life! Keep asking!!! Remember His promises (in bold)!
To confess, I never had the boldness to post any spiritual/religous stuff online... cos I thought they were sensitive issues. I want to please my readers... I want ppl to read and come and not get offended. So I wrote 2 different sets- my personal journal (that's is truly from my heart) and my blog (that's for readers to enjoy). But I think God really touched my heart and I really want to share it with all of you. I'm too selfish to hide... I pray that all will experieence this LOVE. GOD LOVES YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!! PHRA YESU RAK KHOON MAK MAK!!! :)
This attachment is never the same. I thought my heart was already hardened. I thought I had seen it all... but this attachment is so different. No longer am I concerned about doing all the work (prarmeters, keeping the patients clean, clearing bedpans, making the ward look neat) but rather I'm concerned with the patients more. God really helped me to have a tender heart again- to really feel for ppl (He gave me when I was young but I lost it somehow)... I saw this lady who told me that she wanted to die. God's love really overwhelmes me at that moment. It just saddens my heart. I kept on telling her that she cannot go yet, she have yet to see the light... She told me that she have no chance to see that light. It reminded me of my dream (I dreamt that one of my friend is leaving the world and I was so scared cos I haven't tell her sth impt.) That was the same feeling, the same urgency... I pleaded to God for her. He gave me the desire to fast and pray... now I really understand that desire/burden to fast & pray... I never had it before. I used to fast cos everyone was doing so... now I'm serious. As she shared with me how many times she tried to commit suicide but was always saved. I think that's Grace. Even ytd, I heard she was about to jump but someone found her just in time and she was sent to IMH... it is really by the grace of God. Do join me in prayer for salvation of this lady...
It wasn't easy though, not only do I struggled with food, I struggled with tiredness and even my so humanly natured selfish thoughts... own desire of dieting (that's definately not my reason God prompted me to fast!). I know it's a temptation. I confessed many times and ask God for strength... He reminded me that He is my strength and He reminded me that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. I also asked to remain pure & tender at heart and He reminded me not to forget the things He had done in my life, how He touched my heart, etc... He reminded me to be urgent for the lost and filled me with compassion again... I prayed that I will never forget His heartbeat... how He feels for the lost...
He could easily change hearts but why does He allow me to go though such sufferings to bring the lost to Him? And yet I'm not perfect. Look how impure am I, struggling with so much? God says, He loves me and wants me to be part of His plan... He wants me to grow, to be more like Him... It is during this time when I'm at my weakest that I come to depend on Him more... Thank God for bringing me thru this day...
I remembered years ago, I was a lukewarm christian, a christian who never lived life victorously, a christian who's always hiding... but ever since He touched my heart by His love, I told Him that I desire Him and wants to be like Him... that was I think in 2003. I didn't had my prayers answered immediately, and I still feared and didn't have much faith in Him but like what He promised in His word, "Faith as small as a mustard seed moved mountains..." I went through alot still... It was only recently that I see my prayers answered. Even though I'm not faithful, He always is. He heard me the very moment I spoke to Him. I realised that God allowed so much things to happen in my life before He answered my prayers so that I'll be prepared for this moment when He gives me this desire... that I will know what to do with it...
I'm so thankful! Indeed. God has a time for everything (Ecc 3). "Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or asks for a fish, will give a serpant? If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to you children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good gifts to those who asks Him!" (Matt 7:7-11)
God desires YOU so much more than what you think. If you want to expereince His love yet do not have the desire, ASK. It may take a few days, a few months, a few years, a whole life! Keep asking!!! Remember His promises (in bold)!
To confess, I never had the boldness to post any spiritual/religous stuff online... cos I thought they were sensitive issues. I want to please my readers... I want ppl to read and come and not get offended. So I wrote 2 different sets- my personal journal (that's is truly from my heart) and my blog (that's for readers to enjoy). But I think God really touched my heart and I really want to share it with all of you. I'm too selfish to hide... I pray that all will experieence this LOVE. GOD LOVES YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!! PHRA YESU RAK KHOON MAK MAK!!! :)
Monday, October 09, 2006
hello i'm back!!!
haha. do continue to keep my team in prayer. they'll be there till 12th oct! I'll just summarise things that impacted me the most...
Day 1:
I'm so indeed grateful God brought me through the preparations and stuff. It wasn't easy but God was faithful as He'd promised. He will provide. You just have to listen to His voice, obey, trust and go. I remembered at the spore airport, one malaysian girl forgt to bring her student card (which she needs) and she has to go thru all the procedures. We keep throwing in solutions initially but we were reminded by a staff to pray. After praying, everything was ok! We should have started praying earlier. It was an impt lesson. In the plane, we played "Big 2". Was really fun! My friend said sth that strucks me, "You gotta get rid of all the smaller cards in order to win". It reminded me of a verse, "let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares..." Heb 12:1-2. Ha. The smaller cards are just like the sin. Anyway, after we touched down in bangkok, we couldn't find the liason person. I prayed with another girl and the man appeared in front of us! That's what God taught me- to put Him first. He also added more faith and trust in me!
Day 2:
Today, God showed me that it is only He who could change and touch hearts, not how good speaker/teacher am I. I was at a lost cos I feel I'm not good enough to guide a girl along in the role of prayer & worship I/C so I prayed and trusted her into God's hands. I got my desire to intercede through my last mission trip at charis (if u r interested, u can ask me) after God added me so much faith! I do not know how to go about spreading this desire. She shared with me how she did not have the desire to pray but how much she wanted it. I prayed for her. Today, she spoke sth tt touched my heart deeply. While we were having worship, she saw 2 construction workers outside our hotel offering insence. Her voice was filled with compassion as she prayed for the 2 men. I was so touched bcos I know God is doing a work in her life and changing her heart to be more sensitive, loving, compassionate and prayerful. I was soooo excited!
In the afternoon, we had personal retreat. It was a time to rest & relax in God. God showed me that there were too many things between me and Him, though they were good... things like church, ministry, people... i'm too focused on good works that drains me to spend personal time with Him. Often I find myself not spending time with Him cos I need to sleep. I find myself always tired... Then He brought me to a verse, "My soul find rest in God alone" Ps. 62:1. I realize that He wants to restore me, to transform me, to give me grace and give me strength to love others along the way. Only He can satisfy my soul, my inner most... the emptiness that no one knows...
Then, at night, we went to the palladium to give out bibles to the chinese tourist. Dark clouds formed and it started to drizzle. We prayed that God hold back the rain so we could continue His work. He did! The rain stopped and we continued.
Back to the hotel... err super budget one. We had a blackout. At first I was a lil disamyed cos I was halfway thru washing my clothes! I prayed, "God please let the lights come again but if this is Your will, let Your will be done." I remembered God always has a plan for allowing certain things to happen. Anyway, I didn't give it much thought. I just told God that I trust Him... His ways are always higher than mine. Was on our way to lobby so we would have the light to read our bibles. (as I was walking, God reminded me of how Paul was locked up in the prison and he still praised God and then the metal bars in the prison were opened! I remembered, "give thanks in all circumstances" so I sang praise songs to Him along the way) Little did I know, God just impressed upon my roommate's heart to be sensitive and reminded her that ministry starts everywhere. We made friends with this particular chinese tourist. We could have missed this opportunity if God hadn't place that sensitiveness, that reminder, that prompting and even the boldness in my friend's heart. Glad she obeyed all the promptings in her heart. After we finished talking to her, the lights went on! We learnt that she'll be leaving the next day's morning and guessed what? So happened that the both of us (not the whole team) were on lobby ministry the next morning, which means both of us will be seeing her tommorow again! Isn't it too much of a coincidence? We made her a card, spend some time with God and slept.
Day 3:
Indeed, my roommate saw her and passed the card to her. We made friends with a group of americans from tenasee who's also on missions. I was so encouraged by their faith to come to a totally foreign land where they couldn't even speak thai nor chi, yet I could see the love and compassion for those ppl that overcomes their fear. But God saw them thru. I ended up as a translator b/w English and Mandarin. Ha. It was fun! I think the chinese tourist felt the love that we had for them, that's why they were open and willing to share. Of course there were some who were skeptical, just like how it happened in the book of acts. "some had doubts" Anyway, those who were opened exchanged contact and took photos! Really enjoyed the time.
Today during devotion, something struck me. You know, it would be so easy for God to come to earth and show everyone the nails and holes in His hands. In that way, everyone would believe in Him. Why doesn't He does that? It is because God loves human so much that He wants to use us and mould us. He wants us to be part of His plan. God has chosen us to witness for Him, though it is a more difficult path. I can picture that because even though sometimes I think I could do it better and it would be so much easier if I did it alone but I would allow others in my planning (esp my juniors) cos I want them to learn. I choose to trust them even though there might be a possibility that they might not do it properly. I'm more interested in the growing process, their character development rather than the outcome. I think it's the same for God. And He's better. Haha. He even promised us that our weaknesses are made perfect in His strength! Of course, I can never comphrehen God but that's just part of Him I've learnt.
God continue to answer my prayers throughout- the rain stopped. ppl recieved. He gave me strength with the little sleep I had (I would probably stone but I was still alert and praying.) And He gave me the joy that blots out the tiredness!
Day 4
We went to United Christian Ministries in thailand, pattaya. We had worshiped in the languages of all ppl that were represented there- Thais, Americans and Singaporeans. The song leader was a thai. God just lead us to a wonderful time of worship. I saw and felt how God had unite us with the love of God. I was so touched and encouraged by the work He's doing in thailand. They even had ministries reaching out to the prostitutes so that even they could experience God's love and be changed and transformed! Then we had a wonderful time of prayer to pray for the land. We were reminded of this verse, "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 Chron 7:14. Really enjoyed the fellowship with my fellow bros and sis in Christ. Nothing could seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
We were at the pier again praying and giving out bibles. I saw jellyfish! Wow, wonderful creation! Today, a few things that saddens my heart though... one. ppl who rejected God's word. two. one of my teammates rejected my gummy pizza (she meant it for good la). haha. oh, but she gave me a big hug after tt. :) :) :). haha. Well, I think God's heart is even sadder. As I spent time with Him the next morning, He gave me such a great burden to pray for the couple I saw at the pier. Now I understand why Nehmiah fasted, mourned and prayed for the sins of his people. I didn't fast though. I just cried and prayed. I couldn't describe that burden... but after praying, I felt release.
Day 5:
We went to the slums today to give out food and spread God's love. We had a skit, song and one of our teammate shared her testimony of how God changed her life. (you can ask for mine if you want) I'm very touched cos God didn't forget these ppl at all. They lived in literally a house that's made of wood and nails that rain could seep through. Their playground is only sand/mud. Yet God still reached out His loving hands to them. At that point, we really prayed for the love of God to overwhelm us. Amazingly, we really didn't mind them at all. We shook hands and hugged them. Neither dirt, tattoos or the fierce looks hindered us! Oh, I saw a really CUTE baby! I carried him, and he laughed at one of my teammates "peek-a-boo!!!" Along the way, we played games like, "say SILK 10 times" then, "what do cows drink?". Naturally they'd say "MILK" haha. It struck me that things we feed ourselves with eg. the things we see, watch, hear, even out thoughts, will natually come out in speech/actions. I was really stunned at the lessons I got from like anything? haha.
Oh, it was only today that I knew that the dancers walking past us every night where transexuals. They looked so pretty, like barbie doll... perfect figure. perhaps better than girls. But I also learn that there is a story behind everyone who chooses this line. Well, do pray for them that they would find love and security in God... God doesn't look at the outside. He looks at the inside- our hearts.
Day 6:
This is the day God really convicts my heart through his tender reminder. Though God was doing many wonderful things, I realised that as days goes by, I began to get less excited. It gets so routine. God will surely ans our prayers. Sometimes, I even forgot to pray. I took His blessings for granted. But today God really struck me hard (not literally). The passage was in Acts 5:1-11 on how Ananias lied to the Holy Spirit. They lied that they have given all their possesions but in fact they had kept some. Earlier the passage it says that the believers shared all things so they could probably be pressurized to do so and to save face, they lied. He convicts me that my heart isnt pure. My heart doesn't match my words/actions sometimes. I may be pressurized to be spiritual outwardly, doing the work and stuff but it doesn't match my heart that's no longer excited. I do things by my own strength and not by the power of the Holy Spirit subsequently. God reminded me that only He could give me the excitement, so I needed to continually depend on Him and ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit. God also brought to remembrance the different situations that my heart isnt pure, like when I worship/jumped/serve in ministry. Thank God for His grace is sufficient for me! He reminded me that He sees my heart ultimately. My actions should be based on the outflow of the Holy Spirit that is in me and the close relationship I had with God. I confessed and asked God for a pure & tender heart that desires to please God and feel what God feels.
Day 7:
I do enjoy the time spent with the team, esp my roommate! God placed everyone of them for a purpose. To Christine, Staff I/C, for her concerns and listening ear, enjoyed sharing with you, also gain much insights. To Mylene, Staff, for praying with me. I learnt lots from her. To be really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. To remain tender and pure at heart. Samuel, TL, a caring person, who's wise and confident at making decisions and sharings. Quite daring and unexpected. Whoa. treated his mortal so NICE! Elsa, ATL, fun-loving person that really cares for each one of us too. haha... i love her massage. Whoa... superb! better than the thai massage. haha. it was really fun with her! Eileen, Treasurer cum Admin, one who brought joy & laughter! LOL. She was forfieted to eat crikets. YUCKS! haha. oh my dear angel. Thanks for all the bookmarks, cards, chocs & encouragements. It comes when I needed them! Yanxiang, Logistics, one who has much to say but I really enjoyed listening and there gain insights! Lily, P&W I/C, oh my i'm so encouraged by u!!! God is indeed working in ur life. Thanks for sharing about ur fears and past. I'm so glad u r free from it now. Su Yi, Welfare, my dearest DG!! Haha... I'm so encouraged and suprised by the card u wrote on the last day... I think u've grown and I believe God will cont to work in ur life! Sara, Reporter, oh dear girl. I love ur child-likeliness!!! haha. enjoyed praying with u too for u always sees the heart of God. so pure... and u r really CUTE and SWEET and i love ur BIG HUGS!! :)
It was fun hanging out with the team! went shopping... not enuff time I think. Then went beach. Coconut was YUMMY! The wind was nice, the sky was beautiful. Nice place to sleep I think. haha. Then went to this lady's house for dinner. A very nice lady. She gave me a bear (I'll tell u the story if I had the time)! The thing I rem was her hug. Oh, that hug really made me cry (I held back my tears though) and don't feel like going back to spore. I'll miss her. Oh and I'll miss sue's team from tenasee, rob, tommy, kathy, marilyn... they taught me a v. cool HI-5! And there's dave who speaks fluent thai and shoot rubberbands at us. haha. I'm impressed with mark- this caucasian who can speak chi so fluently and he's with so much joy and love for the people!
Then, we went back to the hotel, my roommate and I were so thirsty, we drank and the water tasted so nice! Somehow, it struck me about the hearts of the ppl. When ppl are really thirsty and hungry for God's word/love, they will find it sweet. But when they're hearts do not desire God, they will not find it sweet.
Anyway, I truly, sincerely miss them all!!!
Oh last but not least, thank God for His faithfulness in answering prayers. He hold back the rain every night for us to give out the bibles!!
Day 8:
I learnt sth today also, even though I'm going home. I realise that I'm too focus on sleeping in the cab that I close up myself to God's promptings. All that's in my mind was sleep, sleep and sleep. But my roommate was once again open to God's voice and sensitive. She prayed for the taxi driver. Wow. Yupp. So amazing, God spoke to me even when I'm going home.
Oh I love the food in thai, phad thai, papaya salad, green curry, tom yum, morning glory, mee soup, beef noodles. i love everything i ate. haha. and i love the ppl there, so nice, polite and gentle... i love the "sawadeeka" and their "kok koon kha". sounds so nice! hahaha. Then I learnt, "phra yesu rak khoon mak mak!" :) i love the beach, the wind and the coconut!! :)
haha. do continue to keep my team in prayer. they'll be there till 12th oct! I'll just summarise things that impacted me the most...
Day 1:
I'm so indeed grateful God brought me through the preparations and stuff. It wasn't easy but God was faithful as He'd promised. He will provide. You just have to listen to His voice, obey, trust and go. I remembered at the spore airport, one malaysian girl forgt to bring her student card (which she needs) and she has to go thru all the procedures. We keep throwing in solutions initially but we were reminded by a staff to pray. After praying, everything was ok! We should have started praying earlier. It was an impt lesson. In the plane, we played "Big 2". Was really fun! My friend said sth that strucks me, "You gotta get rid of all the smaller cards in order to win". It reminded me of a verse, "let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares..." Heb 12:1-2. Ha. The smaller cards are just like the sin. Anyway, after we touched down in bangkok, we couldn't find the liason person. I prayed with another girl and the man appeared in front of us! That's what God taught me- to put Him first. He also added more faith and trust in me!
Day 2:
Today, God showed me that it is only He who could change and touch hearts, not how good speaker/teacher am I. I was at a lost cos I feel I'm not good enough to guide a girl along in the role of prayer & worship I/C so I prayed and trusted her into God's hands. I got my desire to intercede through my last mission trip at charis (if u r interested, u can ask me) after God added me so much faith! I do not know how to go about spreading this desire. She shared with me how she did not have the desire to pray but how much she wanted it. I prayed for her. Today, she spoke sth tt touched my heart deeply. While we were having worship, she saw 2 construction workers outside our hotel offering insence. Her voice was filled with compassion as she prayed for the 2 men. I was so touched bcos I know God is doing a work in her life and changing her heart to be more sensitive, loving, compassionate and prayerful. I was soooo excited!
In the afternoon, we had personal retreat. It was a time to rest & relax in God. God showed me that there were too many things between me and Him, though they were good... things like church, ministry, people... i'm too focused on good works that drains me to spend personal time with Him. Often I find myself not spending time with Him cos I need to sleep. I find myself always tired... Then He brought me to a verse, "My soul find rest in God alone" Ps. 62:1. I realize that He wants to restore me, to transform me, to give me grace and give me strength to love others along the way. Only He can satisfy my soul, my inner most... the emptiness that no one knows...
Then, at night, we went to the palladium to give out bibles to the chinese tourist. Dark clouds formed and it started to drizzle. We prayed that God hold back the rain so we could continue His work. He did! The rain stopped and we continued.
Back to the hotel... err super budget one. We had a blackout. At first I was a lil disamyed cos I was halfway thru washing my clothes! I prayed, "God please let the lights come again but if this is Your will, let Your will be done." I remembered God always has a plan for allowing certain things to happen. Anyway, I didn't give it much thought. I just told God that I trust Him... His ways are always higher than mine. Was on our way to lobby so we would have the light to read our bibles. (as I was walking, God reminded me of how Paul was locked up in the prison and he still praised God and then the metal bars in the prison were opened! I remembered, "give thanks in all circumstances" so I sang praise songs to Him along the way) Little did I know, God just impressed upon my roommate's heart to be sensitive and reminded her that ministry starts everywhere. We made friends with this particular chinese tourist. We could have missed this opportunity if God hadn't place that sensitiveness, that reminder, that prompting and even the boldness in my friend's heart. Glad she obeyed all the promptings in her heart. After we finished talking to her, the lights went on! We learnt that she'll be leaving the next day's morning and guessed what? So happened that the both of us (not the whole team) were on lobby ministry the next morning, which means both of us will be seeing her tommorow again! Isn't it too much of a coincidence? We made her a card, spend some time with God and slept.
Day 3:
Indeed, my roommate saw her and passed the card to her. We made friends with a group of americans from tenasee who's also on missions. I was so encouraged by their faith to come to a totally foreign land where they couldn't even speak thai nor chi, yet I could see the love and compassion for those ppl that overcomes their fear. But God saw them thru. I ended up as a translator b/w English and Mandarin. Ha. It was fun! I think the chinese tourist felt the love that we had for them, that's why they were open and willing to share. Of course there were some who were skeptical, just like how it happened in the book of acts. "some had doubts" Anyway, those who were opened exchanged contact and took photos! Really enjoyed the time.
Today during devotion, something struck me. You know, it would be so easy for God to come to earth and show everyone the nails and holes in His hands. In that way, everyone would believe in Him. Why doesn't He does that? It is because God loves human so much that He wants to use us and mould us. He wants us to be part of His plan. God has chosen us to witness for Him, though it is a more difficult path. I can picture that because even though sometimes I think I could do it better and it would be so much easier if I did it alone but I would allow others in my planning (esp my juniors) cos I want them to learn. I choose to trust them even though there might be a possibility that they might not do it properly. I'm more interested in the growing process, their character development rather than the outcome. I think it's the same for God. And He's better. Haha. He even promised us that our weaknesses are made perfect in His strength! Of course, I can never comphrehen God but that's just part of Him I've learnt.
God continue to answer my prayers throughout- the rain stopped. ppl recieved. He gave me strength with the little sleep I had (I would probably stone but I was still alert and praying.) And He gave me the joy that blots out the tiredness!
Day 4
We went to United Christian Ministries in thailand, pattaya. We had worshiped in the languages of all ppl that were represented there- Thais, Americans and Singaporeans. The song leader was a thai. God just lead us to a wonderful time of worship. I saw and felt how God had unite us with the love of God. I was so touched and encouraged by the work He's doing in thailand. They even had ministries reaching out to the prostitutes so that even they could experience God's love and be changed and transformed! Then we had a wonderful time of prayer to pray for the land. We were reminded of this verse, "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 Chron 7:14. Really enjoyed the fellowship with my fellow bros and sis in Christ. Nothing could seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
We were at the pier again praying and giving out bibles. I saw jellyfish! Wow, wonderful creation! Today, a few things that saddens my heart though... one. ppl who rejected God's word. two. one of my teammates rejected my gummy pizza (she meant it for good la). haha. oh, but she gave me a big hug after tt. :) :) :). haha. Well, I think God's heart is even sadder. As I spent time with Him the next morning, He gave me such a great burden to pray for the couple I saw at the pier. Now I understand why Nehmiah fasted, mourned and prayed for the sins of his people. I didn't fast though. I just cried and prayed. I couldn't describe that burden... but after praying, I felt release.
Day 5:
We went to the slums today to give out food and spread God's love. We had a skit, song and one of our teammate shared her testimony of how God changed her life. (you can ask for mine if you want) I'm very touched cos God didn't forget these ppl at all. They lived in literally a house that's made of wood and nails that rain could seep through. Their playground is only sand/mud. Yet God still reached out His loving hands to them. At that point, we really prayed for the love of God to overwhelm us. Amazingly, we really didn't mind them at all. We shook hands and hugged them. Neither dirt, tattoos or the fierce looks hindered us! Oh, I saw a really CUTE baby! I carried him, and he laughed at one of my teammates "peek-a-boo!!!" Along the way, we played games like, "say SILK 10 times" then, "what do cows drink?". Naturally they'd say "MILK" haha. It struck me that things we feed ourselves with eg. the things we see, watch, hear, even out thoughts, will natually come out in speech/actions. I was really stunned at the lessons I got from like anything? haha.
Oh, it was only today that I knew that the dancers walking past us every night where transexuals. They looked so pretty, like barbie doll... perfect figure. perhaps better than girls. But I also learn that there is a story behind everyone who chooses this line. Well, do pray for them that they would find love and security in God... God doesn't look at the outside. He looks at the inside- our hearts.
Day 6:
This is the day God really convicts my heart through his tender reminder. Though God was doing many wonderful things, I realised that as days goes by, I began to get less excited. It gets so routine. God will surely ans our prayers. Sometimes, I even forgot to pray. I took His blessings for granted. But today God really struck me hard (not literally). The passage was in Acts 5:1-11 on how Ananias lied to the Holy Spirit. They lied that they have given all their possesions but in fact they had kept some. Earlier the passage it says that the believers shared all things so they could probably be pressurized to do so and to save face, they lied. He convicts me that my heart isnt pure. My heart doesn't match my words/actions sometimes. I may be pressurized to be spiritual outwardly, doing the work and stuff but it doesn't match my heart that's no longer excited. I do things by my own strength and not by the power of the Holy Spirit subsequently. God reminded me that only He could give me the excitement, so I needed to continually depend on Him and ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit. God also brought to remembrance the different situations that my heart isnt pure, like when I worship/jumped/serve in ministry. Thank God for His grace is sufficient for me! He reminded me that He sees my heart ultimately. My actions should be based on the outflow of the Holy Spirit that is in me and the close relationship I had with God. I confessed and asked God for a pure & tender heart that desires to please God and feel what God feels.
Day 7:
I do enjoy the time spent with the team, esp my roommate! God placed everyone of them for a purpose. To Christine, Staff I/C, for her concerns and listening ear, enjoyed sharing with you, also gain much insights. To Mylene, Staff, for praying with me. I learnt lots from her. To be really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. To remain tender and pure at heart. Samuel, TL, a caring person, who's wise and confident at making decisions and sharings. Quite daring and unexpected. Whoa. treated his mortal so NICE! Elsa, ATL, fun-loving person that really cares for each one of us too. haha... i love her massage. Whoa... superb! better than the thai massage. haha. it was really fun with her! Eileen, Treasurer cum Admin, one who brought joy & laughter! LOL. She was forfieted to eat crikets. YUCKS! haha. oh my dear angel. Thanks for all the bookmarks, cards, chocs & encouragements. It comes when I needed them! Yanxiang, Logistics, one who has much to say but I really enjoyed listening and there gain insights! Lily, P&W I/C, oh my i'm so encouraged by u!!! God is indeed working in ur life. Thanks for sharing about ur fears and past. I'm so glad u r free from it now. Su Yi, Welfare, my dearest DG!! Haha... I'm so encouraged and suprised by the card u wrote on the last day... I think u've grown and I believe God will cont to work in ur life! Sara, Reporter, oh dear girl. I love ur child-likeliness!!! haha. enjoyed praying with u too for u always sees the heart of God. so pure... and u r really CUTE and SWEET and i love ur BIG HUGS!! :)
It was fun hanging out with the team! went shopping... not enuff time I think. Then went beach. Coconut was YUMMY! The wind was nice, the sky was beautiful. Nice place to sleep I think. haha. Then went to this lady's house for dinner. A very nice lady. She gave me a bear (I'll tell u the story if I had the time)! The thing I rem was her hug. Oh, that hug really made me cry (I held back my tears though) and don't feel like going back to spore. I'll miss her. Oh and I'll miss sue's team from tenasee, rob, tommy, kathy, marilyn... they taught me a v. cool HI-5! And there's dave who speaks fluent thai and shoot rubberbands at us. haha. I'm impressed with mark- this caucasian who can speak chi so fluently and he's with so much joy and love for the people!
Then, we went back to the hotel, my roommate and I were so thirsty, we drank and the water tasted so nice! Somehow, it struck me about the hearts of the ppl. When ppl are really thirsty and hungry for God's word/love, they will find it sweet. But when they're hearts do not desire God, they will not find it sweet.
Anyway, I truly, sincerely miss them all!!!
Oh last but not least, thank God for His faithfulness in answering prayers. He hold back the rain every night for us to give out the bibles!!
Day 8:
I learnt sth today also, even though I'm going home. I realise that I'm too focus on sleeping in the cab that I close up myself to God's promptings. All that's in my mind was sleep, sleep and sleep. But my roommate was once again open to God's voice and sensitive. She prayed for the taxi driver. Wow. Yupp. So amazing, God spoke to me even when I'm going home.
Oh I love the food in thai, phad thai, papaya salad, green curry, tom yum, morning glory, mee soup, beef noodles. i love everything i ate. haha. and i love the ppl there, so nice, polite and gentle... i love the "sawadeeka" and their "kok koon kha". sounds so nice! hahaha. Then I learnt, "phra yesu rak khoon mak mak!" :) i love the beach, the wind and the coconut!! :)
Saturday, September 30, 2006
God's grace
By God's grace, He provided me with the finances. $700 in full!!! Nothing more, nothing less!!! Amazing God!!! Though I was fearful at the beginning, but I thank God for His assurance that He'll provide all that I need! And that gave me the faith!!! Even as time is running short and I still lacked but I'll always remember His assurance and trust Him and true enough, He provided everything I needed just in time!!!
Oh dear friends, I'll be away from 1st till 8th of october. I'll share with you more when I'm back! Till then, take care! :)
Love in Christ,
Sharon
Oh dear friends, I'll be away from 1st till 8th of october. I'll share with you more when I'm back! Till then, take care! :)
Love in Christ,
Sharon
Monday, September 25, 2006
So You Would Come
I was deeply moved by this song... (this version isn't very clear so you can on the speaker louder to catch the lyrics...)
So You Would Come Lyrics
Words and Music by Russell Fragar
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come
So You Would Come Lyrics
Words and Music by Russell Fragar
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Let the little children come!
Let the little children come!
I really, really enjoyed my attachment at KKH!!!
Kids... they are a bundle of JOY!!!
A child always makes my day when they smile.
Those smiles are always so sincere.
Ahhh... and it truely warms my heart to see crying children stop crying once you cuddle them in your arms or when you sing them a song.
When they shout, "Jie jie, jie jie..." You know they really meant it and do want your company.
Oh, how innocent and pure are their replies.
Oh, how nice is it to give a child your love?
They never doubt your love and think you have an uterior motive for it.
They are the most open beings on earth!
When you tell them that the bed is blue, they didn't ask, "Are you sure it's blue?"
They accept it and that's when they learn and grow.
They are simply adorable!!!
SIMPLY PURE!!!
It is indeed a wonderful experience! :)
I really, really enjoyed my attachment at KKH!!!
Kids... they are a bundle of JOY!!!
A child always makes my day when they smile.
Those smiles are always so sincere.
Ahhh... and it truely warms my heart to see crying children stop crying once you cuddle them in your arms or when you sing them a song.
When they shout, "Jie jie, jie jie..." You know they really meant it and do want your company.
Oh, how innocent and pure are their replies.
Oh, how nice is it to give a child your love?
They never doubt your love and think you have an uterior motive for it.
They are the most open beings on earth!
When you tell them that the bed is blue, they didn't ask, "Are you sure it's blue?"
They accept it and that's when they learn and grow.
They are simply adorable!!!
SIMPLY PURE!!!
It is indeed a wonderful experience! :)
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Imagine Me Without You
Imagine Me Without You by Jaci Velasquez
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You oh
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me
Thank You Lord...
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You oh
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me
Thank You Lord...
Thursday, September 07, 2006
ok. enough of running. here: summary of past 1 week :)
ok. enough of running. here: summary of past 1 week :)
i've been neglecting my blog due to various activties for the past 1 week. 1. sent out newsletters (which i'm not yet done with) 2. my parents were in hk last week so home alone. found a crockraoach in the rice cooker. lol. wore my N95 mask & gloves (was from the mask fitting at NYP) and cleared it away. brave hor. but actually i was quite scared. bcos of all the redundant thoughts tt ran thru my mind. "what if it is just pretending to be dead... what if it flies... what if it crawls on my hand... eeeeks." but the fact is, it was dead. so all the worrying was unnecessary. initially that day wanted to camp overnight at sembawang park but it was raining so our plan was aborted. then my sis friends came & cooked spaghetti. nice nice. they watched full house. then i realised that the show was nice. no wonder my friends kept talking abt it a few mths back. but i didnt watch it cos i've got other stuff to do. 3. washed the dishes 4. cleared my room 5. swept the floor 6. washed my bro's army clothes. cos its too stinky, i added lotsa detergent! the washing machine screen was filled with foam! 7. cleared my wardrobe (that took 2-3 days including folding the clothes) 8. went to meet ccc ppl at Gelare 9. cell grp's bbq. haha. so fun!! enjoyed stepping onto one anothers balloon & haha... blind mice! but couldn't join the swim team ppl :( next time bahh. 10. went mt. fabor 11. church... interesting sermon... really. abt our body. haha. then jane called. we talked. & talked. shall ask for the webbie & the pic. haha. think it was v. funny!!! lol. 12. AGI (just realised the brigade annual general inspection is always on the 1st week of sept) too bad, cant go for PKC appreciation dinner. i can't split into 2... 13. NCOC hike... got "bicycle" as nickname... cos i'm the last man, they clip the bicycle light at the back of me. i seriously, enjoyed myself with the cadets. it's really good to see the previously BLs coming back as ALs this year & most of all, as leaders. :) 14. attachments... this time round it was quite relax larr. cos its paying class & its gyn & thr's air-con! say, "wahh..." it's not as hectic as other wards. got to see babies :)) but too bad, i was under gyn not obs, so couldn't get to go into the nursery & labor ward this time round. but thr's much to learn & much to see in my side as well. update u guys soon... gotta do case study. haha & i'm woking am shift tmr. no infact it'll b a few hrs later. well, pretty dry entry bt i'm nt in the real mood to blog now. haha. :)
i've been neglecting my blog due to various activties for the past 1 week. 1. sent out newsletters (which i'm not yet done with) 2. my parents were in hk last week so home alone. found a crockraoach in the rice cooker. lol. wore my N95 mask & gloves (was from the mask fitting at NYP) and cleared it away. brave hor. but actually i was quite scared. bcos of all the redundant thoughts tt ran thru my mind. "what if it is just pretending to be dead... what if it flies... what if it crawls on my hand... eeeeks." but the fact is, it was dead. so all the worrying was unnecessary. initially that day wanted to camp overnight at sembawang park but it was raining so our plan was aborted. then my sis friends came & cooked spaghetti. nice nice. they watched full house. then i realised that the show was nice. no wonder my friends kept talking abt it a few mths back. but i didnt watch it cos i've got other stuff to do. 3. washed the dishes 4. cleared my room 5. swept the floor 6. washed my bro's army clothes. cos its too stinky, i added lotsa detergent! the washing machine screen was filled with foam! 7. cleared my wardrobe (that took 2-3 days including folding the clothes) 8. went to meet ccc ppl at Gelare 9. cell grp's bbq. haha. so fun!! enjoyed stepping onto one anothers balloon & haha... blind mice! but couldn't join the swim team ppl :( next time bahh. 10. went mt. fabor 11. church... interesting sermon... really. abt our body. haha. then jane called. we talked. & talked. shall ask for the webbie & the pic. haha. think it was v. funny!!! lol. 12. AGI (just realised the brigade annual general inspection is always on the 1st week of sept) too bad, cant go for PKC appreciation dinner. i can't split into 2... 13. NCOC hike... got "bicycle" as nickname... cos i'm the last man, they clip the bicycle light at the back of me. i seriously, enjoyed myself with the cadets. it's really good to see the previously BLs coming back as ALs this year & most of all, as leaders. :) 14. attachments... this time round it was quite relax larr. cos its paying class & its gyn & thr's air-con! say, "wahh..." it's not as hectic as other wards. got to see babies :)) but too bad, i was under gyn not obs, so couldn't get to go into the nursery & labor ward this time round. but thr's much to learn & much to see in my side as well. update u guys soon... gotta do case study. haha & i'm woking am shift tmr. no infact it'll b a few hrs later. well, pretty dry entry bt i'm nt in the real mood to blog now. haha. :)
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Running
Running
I had running experiences before but it wasnt a good one. I accompanied my friend to take part in sheares bridge run (5km) 3 or 4 years back and i took 1 hr+. A word to describe, it was quite torturous. I couldn't stand the heat, the breathlessness, the tiredness, the sweat and everything. i ended up walking for most of the journey and was very, very tired.
This first experience with events like this- is my first step. Adding on, I'm often out for first aid duty, i've saw ppl running the standard chartered marathon for the past 2 years. Each faces spelled determination and perseverance. In my heart, I truly admire them, especially the kids participating. I think they are awesome -to have ran a marathon at such a young age. Perhaps, that determines my enthusiasm in taking part in this year's new balance real run.
It was decided almost immediately- without much thought. Instead, it's like a reaction.
[below is not the exact words, just an aggaration]
Jane: Wei Jie ask me whether wanna go walk 10 km anot.
Shu Yan: Go la, if its me i'll go lor.
Jane: Siao arh... 10 km lehs...
Shu Yan: Walk only ma...
A few days later,
Jane: Eh I help you take the form already, you said you wanna go right? It's $23.
Shu Yan: Oh ya...
Jane: Must hand in by tmr
Shu Yan: Orh. ok.
To be frank, I kind of regretted my decision cos I feel that it's without thought. Firstly, I didn't check the exam timetable beforehand and the run is just 1 day before my bio paper. Secondly, I struggled with 5km before, how will I be able to complete 10km? Thirdly, Eileen asked me if I wanna do duty for this event and I want!! but i can't cos I already signed up. I didn't know there's this duty...
Anyway, since the date that i signed up was quite far from the actual day, it didn't really affect me much so, life goes on... then one day i was out on first aid duty again. We rendered first aid for the NUS Triatholon. I saw how the participants ran, i saw how a lady with large, white blisters on her feet struggled to finish the race, i saw how she dragged her feet but kept running, i saw how they sweat and perspire, i saw their thirst yet they keep on going... I can never imagine myself in a Triatholon. It's too tough. But that duty gave me the motivation to run what I've signed up for. What is 10km to them? They swam 1.5km, cycled 60km and ran15km! It's time for me to train, to set my aim, focus and objectives for this run. I see no point in taking part in an event just for fun. I can might as well ask a few friends to jog with me. Time is indeed precious. It is a wonderful gift from God. Life is fragile and unpredictable but I wanna make my time here on earth worthwhile. Every experience=new insights gained/new lessons learnt. It makes you stronger if you managed to come out of it. I believe it is not wasted. Hence, I listed my objectives and took actions.
Sadly, time was limited. I started my first 5km on tues. Cramped for 3 days, so couldn't run then on. Felt so stressed due to exams and personal objectives of the run. Went church on Sat, the worship song spoke to me... God of miracles, as if telling me to leave my stress into His hands, He is great enough to handle it. Then went for kids ministry duty, again the worship. It was really a prayer of my heart, it's like a response of the 1st song i mentioned earlier- "Lord, I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone, every breath that i take, every moment i'm awake, Lord have your way in me." Everything just poured out (not tears but stress) and i felt a great release. I suddenly realise that my worth is not based on my own standards but really my worth is that I'm a child of God, and all the things that I'm already blessed with. Anyway, that night, I couldn't sleep, haha... probably was too excited. So i studied, and bored myself to sleep. Then sun came- the RUN.
The weather was fine. It started out well. I just kept running and running (except for the water points and the beach and abit of the last part that i walked) Strangely, I didn't struggled much except the very last part, unlike the 1st run i ran. Could even sprint 100m to the finish line. I was abit shocked when I see the timing 1hr 31min++, round up, 1hr 32min. I even started the run a lil later. I thought I would take 1hr 45min the least and prob will drag up to 2hr++. I was a lil out of breath cos of the sprint at the end but after a short rest and 100plus, I'm energised again. Haha, later I realised that 1hr 32mins is not a v. fast timing la. But still, i really thank God for it.
Analysis:
Swimming training improve my stamina and strength but I stopped going since Apr 06.
Physical Fitness Elective improved my stamina again but it ended in Jul 06.
Ran 2.4 occasionally at the park downstairs might have maintained it.
Swam occasionally at NYP/YSC might also maintained it but it wasnt as tough as swimming training so my stamina might have decreased too.
Motivated by NUS triatholon, esp the lady with the blister.
Ran 5km 4 days before the actual day in a time of 50mins.
Motivated by the SJAB ppl (seriously, you ppl are considered quite close to my heart. SJAB is a CCA i've been in since sec sch, that i poured out much time into, a CCA that gave me the experiences and chance. It develops me and grows my passion in nursing and first aid, it teaches me how to care... and the list goes on... most of all, it is the bonds forged.)
Now, I really wonder how i managed to ran 10km and with a timing that is less than 50mins x 2! It was really impossible for me, with all the things I went through. Anyway, i really thank God for all the things i've been through, even all the motivations i had to run. Through it all, it has indeed made me a stronger person in heart, body, mind and soul.
I had running experiences before but it wasnt a good one. I accompanied my friend to take part in sheares bridge run (5km) 3 or 4 years back and i took 1 hr+. A word to describe, it was quite torturous. I couldn't stand the heat, the breathlessness, the tiredness, the sweat and everything. i ended up walking for most of the journey and was very, very tired.
This first experience with events like this- is my first step. Adding on, I'm often out for first aid duty, i've saw ppl running the standard chartered marathon for the past 2 years. Each faces spelled determination and perseverance. In my heart, I truly admire them, especially the kids participating. I think they are awesome -to have ran a marathon at such a young age. Perhaps, that determines my enthusiasm in taking part in this year's new balance real run.
It was decided almost immediately- without much thought. Instead, it's like a reaction.
[below is not the exact words, just an aggaration]
Jane: Wei Jie ask me whether wanna go walk 10 km anot.
Shu Yan: Go la, if its me i'll go lor.
Jane: Siao arh... 10 km lehs...
Shu Yan: Walk only ma...
A few days later,
Jane: Eh I help you take the form already, you said you wanna go right? It's $23.
Shu Yan: Oh ya...
Jane: Must hand in by tmr
Shu Yan: Orh. ok.
To be frank, I kind of regretted my decision cos I feel that it's without thought. Firstly, I didn't check the exam timetable beforehand and the run is just 1 day before my bio paper. Secondly, I struggled with 5km before, how will I be able to complete 10km? Thirdly, Eileen asked me if I wanna do duty for this event and I want!! but i can't cos I already signed up. I didn't know there's this duty...
Anyway, since the date that i signed up was quite far from the actual day, it didn't really affect me much so, life goes on... then one day i was out on first aid duty again. We rendered first aid for the NUS Triatholon. I saw how the participants ran, i saw how a lady with large, white blisters on her feet struggled to finish the race, i saw how she dragged her feet but kept running, i saw how they sweat and perspire, i saw their thirst yet they keep on going... I can never imagine myself in a Triatholon. It's too tough. But that duty gave me the motivation to run what I've signed up for. What is 10km to them? They swam 1.5km, cycled 60km and ran15km! It's time for me to train, to set my aim, focus and objectives for this run. I see no point in taking part in an event just for fun. I can might as well ask a few friends to jog with me. Time is indeed precious. It is a wonderful gift from God. Life is fragile and unpredictable but I wanna make my time here on earth worthwhile. Every experience=new insights gained/new lessons learnt. It makes you stronger if you managed to come out of it. I believe it is not wasted. Hence, I listed my objectives and took actions.
Sadly, time was limited. I started my first 5km on tues. Cramped for 3 days, so couldn't run then on. Felt so stressed due to exams and personal objectives of the run. Went church on Sat, the worship song spoke to me... God of miracles, as if telling me to leave my stress into His hands, He is great enough to handle it. Then went for kids ministry duty, again the worship. It was really a prayer of my heart, it's like a response of the 1st song i mentioned earlier- "Lord, I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone, every breath that i take, every moment i'm awake, Lord have your way in me." Everything just poured out (not tears but stress) and i felt a great release. I suddenly realise that my worth is not based on my own standards but really my worth is that I'm a child of God, and all the things that I'm already blessed with. Anyway, that night, I couldn't sleep, haha... probably was too excited. So i studied, and bored myself to sleep. Then sun came- the RUN.
The weather was fine. It started out well. I just kept running and running (except for the water points and the beach and abit of the last part that i walked) Strangely, I didn't struggled much except the very last part, unlike the 1st run i ran. Could even sprint 100m to the finish line. I was abit shocked when I see the timing 1hr 31min++, round up, 1hr 32min. I even started the run a lil later. I thought I would take 1hr 45min the least and prob will drag up to 2hr++. I was a lil out of breath cos of the sprint at the end but after a short rest and 100plus, I'm energised again. Haha, later I realised that 1hr 32mins is not a v. fast timing la. But still, i really thank God for it.
Analysis:
Swimming training improve my stamina and strength but I stopped going since Apr 06.
Physical Fitness Elective improved my stamina again but it ended in Jul 06.
Ran 2.4 occasionally at the park downstairs might have maintained it.
Swam occasionally at NYP/YSC might also maintained it but it wasnt as tough as swimming training so my stamina might have decreased too.
Motivated by NUS triatholon, esp the lady with the blister.
Ran 5km 4 days before the actual day in a time of 50mins.
Motivated by the SJAB ppl (seriously, you ppl are considered quite close to my heart. SJAB is a CCA i've been in since sec sch, that i poured out much time into, a CCA that gave me the experiences and chance. It develops me and grows my passion in nursing and first aid, it teaches me how to care... and the list goes on... most of all, it is the bonds forged.)
Now, I really wonder how i managed to ran 10km and with a timing that is less than 50mins x 2! It was really impossible for me, with all the things I went through. Anyway, i really thank God for all the things i've been through, even all the motivations i had to run. Through it all, it has indeed made me a stronger person in heart, body, mind and soul.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Meanwhile friends, enjoy...
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU by REMBRANDTS
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.
You're still in bed at ten, though work begins at eight,
You burned your breakfast, so far things are going great,
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these,
But she didn't tell you when the world was brought down to your knees that...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.
No one could ever know me.
No one could ever see me.
Seems your the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with.
Make it through all the mess with.
Someone I'll always laugh with.
Even at my worst, I'm best with....you - yeah
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,or even your year, but...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too...
and stay tuned. :)
PS: heard this before? this song was used as a opening dance song for YTSS musical in 2004. :)
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU by REMBRANDTS
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.
You're still in bed at ten, though work begins at eight,
You burned your breakfast, so far things are going great,
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these,
But she didn't tell you when the world was brought down to your knees that...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.
No one could ever know me.
No one could ever see me.
Seems your the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with.
Make it through all the mess with.
Someone I'll always laugh with.
Even at my worst, I'm best with....you - yeah
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,or even your year, but...
I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too...
and stay tuned. :)
PS: heard this before? this song was used as a opening dance song for YTSS musical in 2004. :)
Sitted silently on my computer chair.
I could hear the faint whisper of the insects outside,
The wind of the fanblades spinning,
The clear, fast typing of the keyboard-
In the stillness.
The light uncovers every darkness of the room
It brings out every corner that was once hidden.
I leaned back.
Relaxed.
I closed my eyes,
Enjoying the cool, soft breeze on my skin,
As gentle as it is.
Yes, time is running away,
Like an ice melting in my hand.
Now I asked myself, "What am I doing?"
Like a little boat in the vast ocean,
Without a sense of direction.
Here I am blogging
Without a particular reason.
Well I better get back to work.
Tata for now.
I could hear the faint whisper of the insects outside,
The wind of the fanblades spinning,
The clear, fast typing of the keyboard-
In the stillness.
The light uncovers every darkness of the room
It brings out every corner that was once hidden.
I leaned back.
Relaxed.
I closed my eyes,
Enjoying the cool, soft breeze on my skin,
As gentle as it is.
Yes, time is running away,
Like an ice melting in my hand.
Now I asked myself, "What am I doing?"
Like a little boat in the vast ocean,
Without a sense of direction.
Here I am blogging
Without a particular reason.
Well I better get back to work.
Tata for now.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
TIME
TIME
the clock is ticking off every second,
with every breath we take
and with every breath we take,
we are one breath nearer to death.
time and tide waits for no man.
once its gone,
IT IS GONE.
"the tragedy of life is not that it ends too soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
-W.M.Lewis
the clock is ticking off every second,
with every breath we take
and with every breath we take,
we are one breath nearer to death.
time and tide waits for no man.
once its gone,
IT IS GONE.
"the tragedy of life is not that it ends too soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
-W.M.Lewis
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