God is good. I remembered not long ago I was just feeling so dissapointed, feeling so unworthy of such grace that was given to me, feeling like i'm not up to that standard, His glorious perfect standard (i'm far from it still), felt like i've let God down, felt like i'm such a hypocrite and all, felt like i'm still living in my sinful nature and yet i call myself a christian, felt as if i wasn't chosen or called to do what i am doing, felt like i should be a non-christian instead than disgracing God, felt like i've made so much mistakes, felt like i didn't have what it takes to be what i am, felt like i shouldn't even be where i am because trouble is what i give to others, i felt like a nobody, nothing. everyone else seemed to be something except me. was just so down.
But God is really, really very good. He's been patient with me, very patient. He's been patient with all my faithless questions, he's been patient with all the complains, patient with all the tears, well, He's the only person that i can be 100% honest with, patient even when i'm not patient, patient even when i'm not being faithful, and for even, the many, uncoutable mistakes and all the dissapiontments that i've grieved Him with, yet still, I know that day when He reminded me of the truth again, my life was filled with hope and joy. Now, I really understood the verse which says, "know the truth and the truth shall set you free". Yes, free. I felt so much freedom that day. Free from lies and condemnation i've been living with. Footsteps are lighter and you just wanna SING and Praise GOD!
Dear God,
Thank You for the Truth that tells me I am a child of God, a chosen generation, a royal preisthood, set apart. Truth that tells me that nothing can seperate Your love for me, not even my own failures. Truth that tells me that You will never leave me nor forsake me. Truth that tells me that I have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (and why do i still condemn myself?). Truth that tells me it is in my weaknesses that You are made strong. Thanks for showing me that You did not chose the wise, talented, wonderful and perfect people but You chose people only with a willing heart. You who had chosen me already know my weaknesses and my imperfections. I am actually nothing but You made me into something. Thanks for answering my questions one by one, from, "why didn't you ans my prayer?" to, "how can i stand firm in You?". Thanks for reavealing so much of my weaknesses, I'm humbled and am depending on You day by day to overcome my weaknesses. You showed me that You wants me to grow beyond my failures and i'm so thankful for that. Thank You for showing me people who have gone before me, who have ran, persevered and finished the race. Even as I'm holding the baton, help me to persevere too and finish the race, the race of loving ppl the way You do.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
25 HOURS CAMP
It was a wednesday and a thursday. It started without a big bang, yet it ended with such an impact. The first ever camp planned by freshmen! Games was so fun, love the worship and singsiration! I set 3 objectives. Learnt how to so CE, be convicted of sharing Christ and the boldness to do so. haha. training was so very good. I enjoyed gaining new knowledge that is so useful. I pray that I will use it. I saw that in every 1.73 seconds, people die. And many are plunging into the fiery furnace. It just saddens my heart to hear of this young korean buy who shot 30 of his schmates in virginia tech. A boy filled with much hurts, hatred, anger. If only someone would show him how much Christ loved him...
