He is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
Jim Elliot

I have an appointment with the Lord of heaven and earth and I dare not be tired and I dare not be late.
-An evangelist (Name unknown)

If the praise of others elates me, or if the blame of others depresses me, then I know nothing of Calvary's love.
-Amy Carmichael

Fix your eyes on Christ and live for His smile alone.

God spoke to me

When someone who barely knows my circumsatnces spoke directly and specifically in regards to that circumstance that I am in, I know it is God. Today, He spoke:

"As you think about your future, do not worry bcos God has plans for your life, plans to give you a hope and a future. Know that God has not given you a spirit of confusion, but of power, of love and of sound mind. God has called you to be more than a conqerour. Stop thinking that you cannot handle this or you cannot handle that."

Thank God thank God thank God!!!

Felt so so so encouraged after reading what God has done in my life. As I looked back to the last 7 months of school, I thank God, thank God that it's over and that God has sustained me even in the midst of family issues and people to spend time with...

I remember there are times when I really had very very little time to study and do assingments... but God's grace saw me through.

Thank God for the FUN friends that has accompanied through these 7 months

Thank God for the FUN trip to batam!

Thank God for my sis... that God gave her a job in KTPH!

Thank God for the pleasant suprise and great friends on my birthday

Thank God for the many foooood that I had

Thank God for the opportunity to go to different nursing homes and community hospitals. Enjoyed it!

Thank God for He supply all my needs! Netbook, smartphone @ $0 with contract!

Thank God that my studies are sponsored!

Thank God for meetups with jincheng... =)

AWESOME!! =)

Thank God, praise Him!! =)

Psalm 50:7-15 (New Living Translation)

7 “O my people, listen as I speak.
Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God!

8 I have no complaint about your sacrifices
or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.

9 But I do not need the bulls from your barns
or the goats from your pens.

10 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

11 I know every bird on the mountains,
and all the animals of the field are mine.

12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
for all the world is mine and everything in it.

13 Do I eat the meat of bulls?
Do I drink the blood of goats?

14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
and keep the vows you made to the Most High.

15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory.”

23 BUT GIVING THANKS IS A SACRIFICE THAT TRULY HONORS ME...

to my family in Christ...

i cant slp.
prob due to the caffeine- the milk tea i had with my sis.
i had lots of late nights recently.
either assignment, projects or with people.
mainly 3 people in my life currently- my sis, t, f.

well, each, i believe need someone at this pt in their life, whose reasons should be kept confidential so i won't be explaining it here.

i'm glad to avail myself to them as well. as they choose to share their lives and struggles with me, i grow too, for being so helpless with their struggles... and trusting God all the more for them to live a happy and meaningful life.

sth i thought interesting: i learnt in dover park hospice that everyone has a spiritual component in their lives but not everyone is religous. spirituality is to be in harmony with God, themselves and people ard them... thats what most researchers define. To me, that is: to be in a RELATIONSHIP with GOD, our creator and friend. He is the reason of my existence and everyone's and everything's else existed bcos of him.

Genesis
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
... ... ...
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

anw, back to my life. 3 things (bolded)-
1) pls pray with me acc to Col. 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”- i'm struggling. VERY unmotivated to study... may God be my motivation.

2) pls pray with me acc to 1 cor 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."- i'm struggling being discipline with God's word and being in fellowship with God's family.

thanks bro/sis for praying! =)

Hebrews
23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

my own reminders (you can ignore):
-npg, ml, t, f, jie
-val, kids p. team

Stay close to God =)

Relationship with God...
starts with proximity (asking Jesus to cleanse us from sins, inviting Him in your life),
grows with communication (prayer),
stretches with knowing and understanding (bible reading, christian friends, church),
progresses with trust which translate into faith acted out in obedience (worship)
and
always abound in love.
God is love.
Love never fails.

Relationship with people...
starts with proximity (collaugues/classmates/finding out the best time to bump into that someone at a certain place, etc.),
grows with communication (talk via msn/fb/phone/meetups),
stretches with knowing and understanding (read that someone's blog, ask friends abt that someone, be with that someone when he/she's with her friends/family),
progresses with trust or stagnated with mistrust.
and
abound in love or end with hurts.
God is love.
Love never fails.
Thus, people need God.

Am reminded...

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God.

Giants

What would Jesus do… what would You do when u r all stressed up wanting to perform the very best and very perfect wherever you go, what will happen when u were my shoes? How would u respond? God? I’m stressed cos I felt like everything is beyond me… God…. Did I bring it upon myself? God but I know… that it is truly what I wanted to do. To do my best in all that I can do so I can bring glory and honor to Your Name. So that, I can wisely use my resources for Your kingdom, to see lives transformed as You worked thru me. Such vision. I know… It cannot b accomplished by me. God I’m weak You’re strong… I’m limited, You are unlimited. I can never do it w/o u. You’re said tt all things r possible thru You. You can make it. Lord, David threw the sling at Goliath…. He knew You can do it, God He had so much faith in You… Lord Jesus I need You too. To be like David… to trust in You that You are bigger, bigger than my studies…. God I need to believe tt u give wisdom to those who ask and God…. I need to believe that You ans prayers that you will give me even exceedingly, abundantly of all tt I could eva ask for or imagine….. And tt no matter whats e results I will still trust you… that you alone will satisfy me…. You will surely be faithful to do what You have promised…. All things works for those who r called according to His purpose

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

“For I hold your right hand- I, the Lord you God. And I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” Isaiah 41:13

God You’re Sovereign.

=)

AHHH!

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
assignments, projects, ICAs, revision!!!!!!!!!!!!



"God is bigger than the air i breathe,
the world will leave..."

Yes. God. is bigger than my studies, my work, my ministry.

Happy

i feel so much better~! Feels happy, contented. Though still stressed but i guess it is a gd stress that pushes me to do things instead of procastinate. coped better by doing my best, making best use of my time, and resources, having a conscious clear purpose and motives behind why i'm doing what i'm doing and really, talking to God... and hearing the voice of truth! that He is with me, He is my strength, my security, my confidence, not in results, not in what I can do, but what He can do & with what He has given me. in some way, i thank God for all these pressures, it is really Him who draws me back once again.

Missing...

I missed dip days. I missed being in sccc esp, missed the ppl thr. missed gg for missions trip, and camps! having a sense of purpose, conviction, vision, dream, this grp of ppl whom we prayed together, worked together, cry together, play together and laugh like crazy together. So often, its really the quality time. The deep things that we share and can connect to, so honest, REAL and transperant, being so vulnerable and yet knowing that they still loved you. So true, so loving, so wise, so encouraging, so willing to hear, and often so crazily funny as well. I missed them, ALOT! Felt so blessed, so happy and worry free! Nth matters as much as long as God is with me and my wonderful family in Christ... felt heaven on earth then! Felt like I've really placed the first things first in my life- God and ppl. Felt so strong, confident and secure as I walked thru life's journey with Him and trusting Him alone, even when I got less time to study than my peers. Felt so close to Him, hearing from Him ,seeing Him work. meeting my needs and enjoying His presence. And His ppl who are TRULY nice without formality sake or fakeness bcos they TRULY are Christ like... ppl who loved God and loved ppl, always reaching out in love, still able to give and always say that they are blessed to be a blessing even with the humble support they raised and yet God always, always meeting their needs. lovely, sweet ppl.


but not now...

I'm writing
in the chaos of emotions,
in the confusion of decisions.
I'm not clear minded
but truly, its sth upon my heart.
Sth so heavy,
I've always wanted to say
but don't know how.


I felt overwhelmed in sch
Felt like I cannot understand and have to spend lots of time reading up.
Felt like I dont have time.
Felt like I've made so many wrong decisions
Felt like bcos of me, other ppl made wrong decisions as well
Felt so dumb somtimes
Felt like I've neglected some friends
Felt I cannot cope with so many friends and activities
Felt like I've neglected my sis
My social circle shrinked trumendously
I want to spend time with my sis
but she's always not at home
I dont know how to prioritise
I've got only 24hrs a day.
Frankly speaking, I've yet to enjoy myself that much.
Always felt like I havent really put in my best effort in my studies and so much wanted to do well this time.
Felt more irratable these days, esp at mum's nagging
Sometimes wished I dont have to work
But what abt my expenses?
Felt that the car is a great liability.
Felt like crying,
I cannot cry.
I'm laughing so other ppl will not feel bad
I'm counting the cost of my future and its never enough.
Retirement, marriage, children, inflation.
Felt like a miser sometimes
Ppl says to invest but I dont know how
And I got no time to read now
I dont know what to do.
Where is my bf?


I dont want my life to be like that. I know I can be victorious in Christ. I know I can be an overcomer. I know I can be confident and secure in Him. I know He can provide all my needs. I know I shouldnt store up treasure on this earth but in heaven. I know I'm not trusting, not having faith. I know, I know, I know. I felt like I know alot but these knowledge seemed to slowly creeped away from my heart back to my head only. I know to guard my heart. How? Where's my FAITH, where's my CONVICTIONS? I need a more definate, more stable, higher purpose to live than all life could offer, I need God, I need faith, I need conviction again. I realised how easy it is to go into depression without God's truth, love, Word, and His ppl. It's more than a want, it's a need. I need to be satisfied in Him and Him alone. To be filled by His overflowing love so I got more to give. I'm tearing the mask of laughter, I'm laying my weaknesses before you. You see, it's no longer what I can do now, I'm vulnerable. I've got not enough. I'm weak. I have no idea how, I jus know that I need God, got to get back to His presense, back to His heart, back to His ppl.


In my 3rd year of my dip days, a staff asked us, "draw what do u see yourself in 10 years time." I drew myself, and many ppl and children ard me with smiles on their faces. I don't know specifically what I want to do then. But one thing for sure, I want to bring smiles to ppl ard me, to make a difference, so that ppl ard me can be happy. What makes ppl happy? Not the kind of happiness that last only a moment but never really touched/cure deep down to the root issue. For me, the happiest moments in my life were in crusade. It was from there, God caused me to see Him more and more clearly, that I'm able to witness His works and power and love. It was then, I fell in love with God. It was then, that I felt God's heartbeat. It was then that I'm convicted, that I'm loved, that God is all I need, that He is my joy, my strength, He speaks to me. The ppl there made a great difference in my life by showing me how real God is in their lives. They showed me how to connect to God and how to enjoy a r/s with God. They didnt merely taught or talk abt God, they SHOWED me thru their lives. They live out Christ centered lives, and admitting their occasional human weakness. They are so REAL. It is perhaps bcos of their lives that no matter how bad i feel now/how difficult circumstances may be, or how much faith i know i lacked, I cannot bring myself to deny God and His power, His love. Their lives left an impact on mine, and will be a such a great legacy. Perhaps... thats what I wanna do too, to bring ppl to God, to see less of psy illness, depression, schiz, less of suicide, corruption, immorality as many bcome convicted to choose to live out Christ centered lives, knowing that God is more than enough for them.

But I need to walk the talk 1st. back to my basics of prayer, Word and meeting up with believers, living Christ centered lives and then wait upon God as He brings my head knowledge back to my heart. He knows what I need.

Readings

thanksgiving!

thank God that He hold me, my foot almost slipped. (i mean not literally.)

thank God for annual leave! i really love this time of the year! been spending time reading for the past 4 days.

Somethings to share here and there. =)

VISION/MISSION IN LIFE

A whole new paradigm shift!

Imagine you've been trying very hard climbing a ladder your whole life. When you reached the top, you celebrate! But as you look around you, you realised that it is not where you wanna be. And then you realised you've been climbing the wrong ladder.

or

You can have the best car pumped with the best petrol running at 140km/hr. You're efficient, fast, cool, a nitch above the rest. But when you arrived at your destination, you realised that this is not to place you wanna be either. You've headed for the wrong direction.

Managers are like ppl who facilitate the cutting of trees, organizing them and encouraging them to make sure they cut as many trees as they can. Leaders stand on a tall hill, saw the whole picture and shouts, "Stop, we're cutting the wrong forest!"

App: To not just manage my life but lead my life. need a personal retreat to establish God-given vision and mission in accordance to where He's leading (circumstance), His Word, passion/interest, Wise counsel, wisdom.

RISKS

Inspiring Poem by Ann Landers'!

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To place expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure

A person who risks nothing may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.

TEAMWORK(THINK WIN/WIN, INTERDEPENDANCE Vs INDEPENDANT)

Good interactive analogy!

Get 2 ppl up and play arm wrestling. Let them know that they have 60s. Everytime one managed to press the other party down, he'll get a dollar. Rather than both of them struggling and have one winner in 60s, they can both take turns to let each other win within the 60s. In that way, they can achieve much more(dollars), together.

$$

thanksgiving!

time to read thru ins policies today.

time to talk to dad abt $$ issues

prayers!~

wisdom from God to make wise decision in terms of money, time allocation. that in the process, i wont lose my own soul.

Ask, Seek, Knock!

adding on to the previous post, i just thought of an example re asking, seeking and knocking. its like support raising. we dont jus pray (asking) but also did newsletter to give to our friends by faith (seeking), and invite them to join in the great commision by praying and giving (knocking) =) and we begin to experience God as Jehovah Jireh, our provider be it in prayers and finances.

thanksgiving!

though jb trip was cancelled cos both me and my dad woke up late but its really really nice to stay at home the whole day reading books!

prayers!

Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people in terms of studies. and same... to be in the centre of His will.

thanks =)

Ãsk, Seek, Knock!

God revealed sth abt this verse to me today as i was abt to slp. It must have been God bcos I never heard sth like tt before, felt that there's so much truth to it, make sense to me and at the same time timely for someone i talked to just now: ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you. it is a common and widely used verse even for non christians. i jus realised sth. the verse didnt stopped at ask, it continued to seek and even knock. God ans prayers and gives but sometimes, we didnt see it cos we dont seek, and if we sought and found but didnt try knocking, of cos the door wont b open.

ok, tts all. gdnight! =)

Thanksgiving!

hello!

thanksgiving!

for J & A tansport to make uni and sometimes back home fr work, they r really a nice couple.

for cell. was totally blown off by what i hear today abt V's life, abt hw he was involved in black magic, able to see demons, able to ask demons to help him in exams. and then hw his spirit got out of his body, lost consciousness, struggled with demons, then he called on the name of Jesus and came back but even so, he still sometimes lost conscious, turned violent in hospital, not even 4 doses of sedative could control him. then Ps. D prayed for him and cast the demons out of his body. this is very summarised. should hear from V himself man!

for J sharing today, bringing heaven into earth, our assignment and what we are called to do, fulfilling the great commision, its kinda linked to what God has been speaking to me this period of time! amazing! =)

God is really meeting my needs! ytd boss (@tuition centre) called me back to do cleaning cos they service the aircon so the place was quite dirty. so i had extra cash. and, my boss gave me 5 pcs of pies from pie kia cos someone gave them and they cant finish.

prayers!

May His kingdom come, His will be done everywhere i go!

Excited!

heyhey!

i didnt update for the past 2 days due to fatigue. but LIFE'S BEEN REALLY EXCITING! God sustained me. Had a nice sleep till 1.30pm today. SHIOK!

Thanksgiving highlights:

Met up with C & S at CWP to share and pray for each other =) God used her sharings and diff situatiions to speak to me re: the exact same need that I have. That as I begin to centre myself in God's will, He will meet my needs. So my focus shouldn't be on my inadequacies but on Him and answering His call, no matter what He called me to do, He will provide all that I need.

I'm really happy!

Prawning w J, A & J! Though I didnt catch any, it is really the ppl that i enjoyed, and God blessed J that she caught many many prawns!

Prayers:

To be in the centre of God's will, and tt when He calls me, I will ans.

Time to read thru ins. policies. Wisdom to choose a gd ins. policy to commit. Guard my heart agaisnt greed, envy, things not of God

That my heart will still place God as No. 1 and please Him, no matter what.

thanksgiving!

nice day at work, friends at w63

time for His Word

food!

opportunity to hear fr ex adv dip ppl


=)

goodnights!

thanksgiving!

for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believed in Him shall not perish but have eternal life!

had a great time at kids church today! the fun, the joy, the laughter! Its indeed an ans to our pre-service prayer! =)

can slp during bus journey

prayers!

Focus and proirity on God

God will sustain me in His strength, to be careful and not careless, to be excellent in the things that I do.

Able to find surety and submit the necessary doc by deadline, 7 apr for adv dip.

able to go for encounter retreat. hoping J will go too.

heyhey!

thanksgiving:

got into adv dip together jo2 n some others! looking forward to clearing my leave and studying again! looking forward to meeting the ppl at ccc again. i'm kinda elated!

i learnt that as i focus on God, He will meet my needs. today was on the train, kinda tired but decided to spend time with God by reading the Word on the train while standing instead of paying attention to who gets up next so i can get the seats. jus after awhile, a few seats came, and i didnt even had to rush to get them! Indeed, God will meet my needs as i look to Him, my source, my everything.

bro came to fetch me from work at tui centre

prayers:

will be lacking slp for nxt few days cos tmr, sat: am shift, then church. sunday: church then pm shift. mon: am shift aft tt meet up w friends. tue: am shift, mayb gg out. looking forward to off on wed, thu, fri.

that i'll really love n care abt ppl ard me n not jus so obsessed with my life. basically, to be in the centre of His will, not mine.

tt i'll b able to get the documents from my sis and bro as they are my surety but its hard as they are seldom at home. kinda urgent, got to submit it soon for my adv dip.

Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

and to guard me from demonic wisdom... self-seeking? confusion?

thank God for:

great day, slept till 1pm. it was awesome!

retreat with God, great time releasing all thats within me, my worries, my burden to the Lord, to pray and once again commit my plans to Him, affirming my trust and faith in Him, worshipping Him and listening to His promises and assurance!

KAT- Kids Action Team. It's a monthly children minstry workers meet on the thu of every 1st wk. It always encourages me to read God's Word. I had fun with taboo and laughing at my own game! LOL! i really love this game. And to know that God appreciates me!

supper which is $12, cos i only had $13 in my wallet.

dont have to go for the cleaning job.

safe journey

for this book tt i'm gg start - keys to financial excellence by phil pringle fr NLB. Gd r/v fr Joyce Meyer, John Bevere & John C. Maxwell. think i really nd knowledge or assurance in regards to managing $$ according to how it may please God rather than what ppl say (everyone's advice varies anw).

and everything cos all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. =)

SLEEP!

gdnights!

hi, i'm actually very tired today due to lack of slp but still managed with God's strength. on am shift, then met 2 ins agent, then dinner and cell, then work.

thanksgiving-
for cell, we opened up alot to each other. today heard hw each of them came to the Lord. it was amazing!

i was posted to a rm tt apparantly lacked staff due to mc however, workload was very light, finished everything by 12pm!

joy, faith and trust in God!

an ans prayer
ytd when i went to work at the tuition centre, the toilet bowl was spoilt, it looks stuck and the water were overflowing, i kinda prayed for it and try to meddle with it... i mean sticking the end of the stick and digging out whatever i can. the water subsided. i dunno if it worked cos they off the water supply, i jus leave all to God and the nxt day i asked abt it again and they said they didnt call the plumber, the toilet bowl worked aft in subsided.

still confused over what ins to buy but i shouldnt let this issue distract me fr my priorities- loving God and ppl.

gd nights!

here's my thanksgiving for today, lets see...

today i woke up at 6.20am. thank God still can make it in time for work.

thk God for a lil sense of humour tt my collague has.
ME: why is dr. ____ face so black today? (i mean he's not as smiley as he usually is)
G: cos he's suntanned.
ME: huh????? *bursts in laughter

met up with manulife ins agent, thank God, find that the ins agent pretty gd, taught me hw to save money and not over commit. Only God knows what will happen in the future and i dont wish to spend the bulk of my $ on ins in which i may/may not use it. so i jus want a basic life protection plan and mayb one that pays for my hosp bills due to the rising med cost.

talking to tt ins agent also reminded me to thk God for really bad situations last yr tt taught me hw to save. thr's this period of time when one of my family member was hospitalised, all the tests and scans were so expensive! and thr's this time when my parents went overseas and i'm all on my own, leaving me with the home, the bills, my bro pocket $, groceries, etc. this gave me a mini experience of the coming stage in life that i might be in- having a hm, a family. Thank God too, for I know that He truly meet my needs, even when i dont see it then and felt so depressed abt everything and pitied myself. He was there and He brought me thru so I can learn and grow, look back and give thanks.

thk God for jojo, she sent me this email, helping me to rise early. I find it quite useful. It says we should decide what time we wake up the night before and not leave the most impt decision when we wake up as we will not be in the alert state of mind to decide whats best. what a paradigm shift! it motivates me to make impt decision and pack impt stuff in my bag the night before instead of leaving it till tmr morning!

thk God i can nap 4hrs
for time to pray during travel
for time to think of ice breaker/prepare lesson during travel
for time to wash car
tt my eyes is on Him
for food
for parents, for strawberries and mango, for house
basically everything! =)

Pray for me, find myself in time and money constraint sometimes, need wisdom to manage time and money. nonetheless, i know God will meet my needs for He said He is my Provider. He said He will give wisdom to those who ask. And has always proven so. Holding on to Him, His promises and His truth, trusting and being satisfied in Him alone even in times of difficulty! I'm happy and blessed!

hello everybody again!
decided to pen down my thanksgiving everyday, to intentionally sit down and blog abt what God is doing in my life!
okay, so here you go for today,

thank God i can borrow touchpoint from NLB, the verses really speaks to me in my life- not doing the things that you felt should do is also sinning. God speaks through consience too. Someone in my cell always says, "i'd rather hear God wrongly and make mistakes than to not do it and disobey God." Of course everything we do should be validated by the absolute Word.

there are things i should do, like f/u w fw n sis, being accountable to new cell, ex cell, tim, praying, and being responsible as a cso in sjab but not doing.

Am also reminded of being Christlike- for the Son of man come to serve and not to be served.

thank God for cell grp & church, spoke to my heart (yea, lately have been thinking alot abt $$, thinking abt hw little i earned and hw it surely wouldnt be enuff for petrol, car, studies, house, marriage, family if i have and retirement even with consistent 30% savings. what's more? i hope to do missions and that needs cost too. No matter how i calculate, it is never enough and i get so tired thinking abt hw to earn more $$).

Then on wed, one of my cell mate shared abt her family holding on to a story of how this grp of missionaries gave rice to the poor, there are so many ppl it seems like the rice is never enuff but they still keep giving by faith and the rice doesnt seem to finish. So even when her dad loses his job, they looked to God. if they were to calculate, its never enuff, yet they still survived all these years!

Also, that I should put on the armour of God everyday! yea, its been a long time since i'm reminded of it... shield of faith, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, gospel of peeace, helmet of salvation... praying always... for our struggle is not against flesh and bld but against ... spriritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms...

and also to obey God.

and on sunday, i'm once again reminded that i shouldnt limit God, that i must know who that is in me, that i need to surrender the culture and traditions (to be rich/millionaire) cos they are like cracks in a bowl that is preventing me from being filled, and assured me that He will repair what is broken (my faith) and release me into my destiny.

it was then i realise money has taken a hold on me. i could very well psycho myself to think that if i have more money, i can give to others and extend God's kingdom, how noble... but then i am subtly putting money first cos i'm looking to money instead of God to accomplish great things. i almost lost faith in God when i did that.

Yes, the Lord examines my heart and i thank God for His mercy, for bringing me back to His heart. =)

Though right now, I am still working part time (cleaning up a tuition centre, 1h/day, mon-fri @ serangoon north ave 1, earning 12/hr) I work with peace and joy, with faith in God that He is the source of my income, that He will meet my needs and with a clear conscience before God as He continue to examine my heart. =)

thank God also, cos my boss at the tuition centre is really really very nice!

thank God for my bro who sometimes drive me to work

thank God for manageable duties today

thank God for joy and faith in Him again, i felt so released, so free

thank God that most of my request are granted so i can attend church and cell

thank God that i can sleep! haha

GOODNIGHT!

grace

hellO everybody! it's been awhile! have been re reading my blog entries and it sort of encouraged me and reminded me about why i have a blog in the first place. And, since I've decided, with a clear purpose, I will keep blogging as much as I can. Sorry ppl for not updating, now here's one, for a 2nd start.

Recently I've discovered something I thought was meaningful. I realised that only when I have experienced, knowledge then becomes alive, and practical to me.

Someone ever told me, if you choose to hold on tightly to unforgiveness and anger, you are like holding on tightly to a blade with your bare hands which the person who hurt you/arouse your anger had thrown. He throws the blade, walks away and life goes on for him while you catch the blade, was hurt and continue hurting if you hold on to it.

Recently, my dad made me really angry by accusing me abt sth I did not do. He mentioned it once, twice and I've already nicely told him that I havent done it. But to keep pushing the blame to me for sth I have not done the third or the fourth time really made me blast at him. It was wrong of him to accuse me but it is also wrong of me to have blasted at him. I guess its true, ppl who are hurt will tend to hurt others. I was hurt, I blasted at my dad, my dad was hurt and he blasted at my mum at the slightest irritation, my mum was hurt, but thank God for her wisdom, she stopped the cycle. I thought of Jesus being so calm and cool before Herod and Pilate with all those accusations. A humble heart and trust in the Father to judge fairly. It's an area where I need His grace as I work on it. The anger was somehow shortlived when my attention was on the tv and after that, work. But the next day, it came back again, everytime when I think of how he accused me. I have so much to say, "How can he say that of me? Can't he find out the truth first? He's so irritating..." and it goes on. It was then I realised I have to let go of the blade in my hand. God always knows whats best for me, that is, to forgive as he commanded.

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8

As freely as I've recieved GRACE, let me give too.