Sunday, December 09, 2012

God moments

Thank God for ps yvonne to validate and affirmed my feelings in regards to friends

Thank God for good friends in my life!

Thank God for the talk with Grace after btj!
Realised through the life of PI that though my situations sometimes can be harsh and cruel, it also helped me to better use my resources in life! Just like how one cruel experience made PI realised that tiger is not his friend and this realisation has helped both him and the tiger to survive the shipwreck too! You must know how each person you wanna help work in order to better help them, eg, tigers are different from human, and  every human is different too!

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

just a quick sharing for my btj mates as well =)

Just a quick testimony. I felt like I was going insane one night! Felt super duper upset! The kind where you feel like dying, like life is just too hard, no point trying, just end it all! I just can't do it! It came on 13/11 night. I'm on my bed, fatigue but can't sleep. Work and people momentarily took away this feeling, but it comes back when i'm alone. I wondered how can Jesus survive in this world? I felt like I can't! Too much guilt and condemnation! Too much of why am I like that? Why am I not able to? I wanted to know how Jesus made it since He's 100% man. So, I started listening matthew on the train, to movie and on the way to btj. As I listened, faith and conviction grew. The part where Jesus scolds His disciples saying you of little faith when they feared the storm. It wasn't a condemning voice but one that says, don't worry, I'm (God) here, I'm (God) able to calm the storms in your life!




During btj, I understood why I went through this difficult time and had such torturing feeling. All these while, i've been clinging on to my job cos it gave me enough security. Stable job, stable income, can even bless ppl with my wealth, doesn't it sound good? But felt that God is telling me: Sharon, that's fake security. $70 can be gone in a day. The things that you think are secure can be easily gone. Let your security be in Me alone. I've come to realise that even security doesn't satisfy me and the end of the day, if my security is not in God, I am still shaken and empty, defeated and depressed, not being able to experience the abundant life God has promised.

...

11:43pmExpand

Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan

And i'm set free. I am truly happy now! I felt a great release in my spirit when I made the decision to put my security in God alone! The beginning of my abundant life!

...

11:50pmExpand

Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan

And yes, I invite you to hold me accountable to the things I said today! May I not be fickle minded, rationalise and change my mind again cos this is where I found my joy- in God! If I do, remind me of today! :-)

Friday, October 12, 2012

thank God

Thank God for btj, for a good time of crying and pouring out to God. A good time of remembering that blessed are those who mourn, who weep, who are poor... Amen.

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

thank God

Thank God I got to see a squirrel at the park beside my flat today.
Thank God cos though I didn't feel too well yesterday and today but yes for the little things I still thank God.
Thank God for the perfect weather to run and to swim that I feel so much better
Thank God for the brown rice, wanton, unagi, seaweed soup this aft
God you know exactly what made my day and what not
Thank God that I know all that I have and all that i've been through, all that I am, God you can have your very good purposes, that even when I dread to do things sometimes, and I never get things done or I make mistakes that you still love me, forgives me and have plans to give me hope and a future!

Amen

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

and thank God

Still thank God always for my useful (as useful as any smartphone!) though slow and small little phone, still going strong for 2 years already! :-)

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Thank God

Thank God for a good night rest. Though it's just 5hours but felt refreshed!
Thank God that i'm able to wake up for morning shift early and don't need to take taxi!
Thank God for MRT that I can take to work
Thank God for a home and a room and a bed that I can rest
Thank God for glucosamine, ginko and vit c pills that I didn't buy
Thank God for pecan nuts that was so delicous!
Thank God for pkc girls whose response was so enthusiastic when I suggested ice skating though the offer on groupon was expired
Thank God for mummy and daddy whose love towards each other and us grew.
Thank God that jie jie has a job
Thank God that I have a job too
Thank God for clothes to wear, food to eat, water to drink, toilet to ... :-)
Thank God i'm able to meet jolin and jane later. :-)
Thank God that i'm able to thank God.
Yay!

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Thank You

Thank You for Guiying! For her encouragement, love and joy!
Thank You for giving me strength for work!
Thank You for enough time to finish work.
Thank You that I can be of help during work!
Thank You for nice, knowledgeable (the senior staff nurses) and skillful (runfang who's very good at setting plug) colleagues
Thank You Lord for joy and peace in my heart!
Thank You for this not so bad doctor who didn't make me angry afterall. He was rude initially (or maybe he's stress or thats the way he usually talks) but became polite after I showed abit of displeasure.
Thank You God for rest now!

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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Thank You!

Thank You I am alive
Thank You for home cooked food at work
Thank You that I am of some help in my workplace
Thank You that I had enough sleep
Thank You for helping me with my emotions
Thank You for a home to rest
Thank You that I chose I phone that I really liked even till now
Thank You that I can have new things to learn at this new area of work
Thank You for helping me to be contented
Thank You for the faith in You
Thank You for being with me and still working in my life!
Thank You God. =)

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Monday, September 10, 2012

NOTES from GO4 church 2-6/9 & 9/9/2012+KATS

Have faith in God Himself instead of what God gives
E.g. Mary, a virgin decided to have faith in God to give birth to Jesus as she was called even though this child comes with a price. She would be condemned, scorned upon by family, friends, strangers and probably stoned in those days AND she would even risked having her favorite man, Joseph, leaving her. If she had faith on what God gives, she probably would give up living her calling from all the pain, hurts, uncertainty, fears of condemnation that comes with baby Jesus. But Mary instead, had FAITH IN GOD and lived out her calling, as we all know.
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1 Corinthians 3 

God's church MUST function according to God's plan!
A man-led church will die! 
If a church is done according to the standards of the world, the LIFE of the church will die!
Good programs without God can also cause growth in numbers like any other society or organisations but it will not bring LIFE in it's members as a church should. Without God, it's no longer a church.

Our goal is to be Christ like!
It's not about making members but making disciples.

A church should not have divisions 
If you see people through God's eyes, through the eyes of grace, all will be good.
Without God's grace, church will have divisions
See through Jesus's eyes, the church will have grace
Love and justice through the cross acts like a filter, a mask. It blocks out pollution, the dirty things of people.

TESTIMONY OF GOD and TO PROVE GOD is 2 very different thing
Testimony of God is when we die to ourselves and follow GOD. Whatever happens, GOD is glorified.
To prove God is when we think WE can prove God and WE work hard to prove God.

Give up everything & follow His will,
Then His grace will cover us.
It is not by our strength.
If we give up ourselves, everything will be glorifying God, everything will be meaningful.

Spiritual things cannot be understood by human wisdom.
If we have too much of our own thinking, too much of human wisdom, we will not know God.
Live out God's word. It's powerful.
___________________________________________________________________________

PRE SERVICE PRAYER MESSAGE
How to be bounded/oppressed/have a foothold in your life:
Live by myself and my own thinking

Signs & symptoms of being bounded/oppressed/have a foothold in your life:
Get angry easily
Don't feel the presence of God
Pray but don't have confidence
Read the bible but no deep revelation
Habitual sin

The different spirits:
Fear
Divisions
Hatred, evil
Oppression, deprivation, slavery
Legalism, violence
Anger & despair

If we are bounded, we will not get the original meaning of the message, we might filter it through the spirit of e.g. legalism

If you have character that God doesn't want, that will be a foothold

Maintenance of the Holy Spirit is a daily, moment by moment thing.
Living in the Holy Spirit is the MINIMUM requirement of every Christian.

Privilege of the righteous comes through the throne of grace
Jesus is our mediator
It's not because of your merit, it's because Jesus recommend you.

PRAY AND BE SET FREE!
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1 Corinthians 2

Crucify human wisdom, we should live by God's wisdom
Wisdom of the world: How much you posses, the do's and the don'ts
Do not STRIVE to enjoy things in the world
Learn to rely on whatever God gives, not be possessors of things in the world
When we posses too much things, it slows down the process of God
E.g. a traveler cannot bring too many things
Don't posses, keep giving it out

We are not measured by the things we possessed. 
We are measured by how much we obey God's word.
All problems come because you think you possess it.
In fact, everything you enjoy is God's! The truth is there's NOTHING that you have! That's why you can be free! If you have nothing, you don't need to worry about anything!
The things you have are the things God allowed you to use it for Him.
As soon as you think you own it, problem comes.

If we are really Christians, we wouldn't worry about food, etc.

God uses the weak to shame the strong
God is pleased with total dependence
You cannot live your life without God and without the power of His Spirit!

Church is different from the world. We cannot be like the Corinthians, trying to please people of the world.
Salvation belongs to the Lord. Our job is to preach truthfully and accurately.
If you don't receive the right gospel, you will not be able to walk correctly
If you pay attention to people, you not only kill yourself, you kill them as well. You should only look to God.

"Jesus, be my wisdom, my holiness"

When God forgives us, He erases out our sins and cleanse us as white as snow.
So when satan throw accusations at us, you just respond, "What sin? God has already erases my sin!"
When you believe, you receive righteousness by faith. Not striving but by faith.

When there's hope you will endure.
When there's love, you'll sacrifice.

You shouldn't feel defeated. You are not created like that!
The only reason why you are being defeated or despair is because you are CHEATED!
The Word of God is designed as an essential and fundamental to your soul and spirit!
Word of God should be LIFE in you!
You should not surrender to physical suffering, you should find the spiritual cause of it.
The important thing is to digest the word of God by FAITH, it cannot be filtered by world's standard or human wisdom. If it does, it will lose it's power!
E.g. Word of God is like cooked meat. It's good. But filtered by world's wisdom, it becomes overcooked. It's no good. It has lost it's nutrients.
Do not be malnourished without God's word!
If you do not digest the word of God by faith, you do not accept it as the truth.

It is difficult for us to accept the truth because of our evil desires
E.g. Prophet Jeremiah ate the scroll (the word) and it turned bitter
Paul did not try to persuade with men's wisdom. Truth will not be persuasive.

What made you mature is not how long you've been in church but how much of God's word have you digested.
To develop spiritual maturity takes about 6 months to a year

Does God know we will sin? Of course He knows, He is all knowing.
If God knows we will sin, why did He still created us?
It's because He loves us.
E.g. If you have a son and you know all the mistakes that he will make in the future, will you still love him?
If you know that your son will betray you, whip you and crucify you next time, are you still able to love him?
He chose to give up His all knowing power so that He can love us. 
God has already decided to take responsibility for all our mistakes that we will make.
God has the best solution to everything that we decide, even our mistakes.
Through the cross you realize how good God is. You don't use your own strength.

E.g. CEO of a company decided to let his son runs his company, there is a risk.
When God appointed us to be His church, there is a risk

Whatever you do, He will be responsible for your actions and behavior
He knows the best route for us
He love us so much that He gave us everything!

You are God's church
You have the authority in the kingdom of God.
You must be excited to be part of the church

If majority of the congregation is immature, it will cause a lot of issues and problems.
When immature people is in an organisation, it will be affected negatively. Mature people however, will edify
Immature people are people who cannot control their bodies.
E.g. For a infant to point his finger to the middle of his nose is difficult cos it's hard for infants to control their bodies but for an adult is easy.

Infants will treat God as rubbish if there's no gain (possessions)
They are like a 65yo that still choose to wears diapers not because of any illness.

Traits of the immature: Quarrel, strife, jealous, don't see their own weakness, magnify a small problem (e.g. to an adult it's a small problem, but to the child it seems like a big problem and make a big fuss over it)

The glory of the church does not depend on the number of people.

If we live by flesh, we are just like animal who live just to eat.
If we live by the flesh, the more we want to posses, the more we want to eat.
Do not pursue anything that's not eternal.

No man will invest in a bank that will perish!
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Correctly give what God has given you.

Minister should minister according to the grace you are given
Minister according to the portion given by God, not to add or subtract
Live according to what God provides
We often strive by our own effort and this cause death

Be careful of greed (subtract: take something that is not yours) and despair (add: you feel that the things God has given someone is not enough & you try to add/stop the person from trying to give God) and loneliness (do it alone, instead of with God) when you are doing ministry.
Greed
E.g. Take some money out from mission fund for your salary
Despair
E.g. A poor man wanna give God offering and you said, don't need to give. You are already so poor already, keep for yourself. You are not God. He's giving to God, not you. You don't need to worry about him. God will take care of him. God will provide for him.
E.g. People who wants to come camp but has no money. You take ALL your salary and gives them until you have no money for yourself. It is God's responsibility to provide for them, not yours. You are not God.

God is the boss, He is our Father. He is the One who provides all our needs.
God is the CEO, not the pastor of the church.
The pastor is also your God's worker, and your fellow worker.

We often think that if we don't go, somebody is gonna die
Even if you don't preach, God will save
Our job is to do the things that God entrusted us to do
You just spend what you've been given by God
Unless you become pure and holy, God cannot flow through.
Your mind must be molded by the truth, then the Holy spirit will flow through you.
You are a channel of God. You are a vessel. Do not add or subtract to whatever God gives. Let God Himself flow through your life.
God is the focus of our ministry: what God wants me to do, where is God placing me, who God wants me to meet

Secret of successful: Do not limit the presence of indwelling Holy Spirit
Only through the spirit can we know God- personal encounter (Romans 8:26)
E.g. When you choose to love your enemies, your Holy Spirit will communicate to God & God will give you grace and help you to love your enemies.
The Holy spirit is our helper!
Know the truth & respond according to the truth (Hebrews 10:16)
It will be impossible to live in this world if you limit the presence of indwelling spirit

Demons can intervene in your mind and manipulate your mind.
Above all things, guard your heart.
You have the power to defeat satan
Only when you are deceived, you will be defeated- because you don't know who you are and what God has done for you.
God's spirit is in you
We can enter the King's chamber
Live by the Holy Spirit (1 John 2:27)
Spiritual things should be discerned by the spirit
Moment by moment, you have to live by the Holy Spirit, if not you cannot live.
Leaders must live by the Holy spirit
We must have the mind of Christ through the Holy Spirit

To be like Jesus, you need to know exactly who He is.
We need to see Jesus through the spirit

1 Cor 3:10-15
Architect should built according to the blueprint/plan instead of what they want
Earthquake will tell you how strong the building is

Eph 4:11
If you try to teach with human effort, it will spoil the plan of God

Everyone is important! Cherish your body. Even your little finger. You can't use your thumb to dig your nose.

See through the eyes of faith
Seeings is believing
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Pray by the strength of God, not in your own strength

Grow in God's rest

First thing in the morning read, read the word of God, not tv, newspaper, or other things of the world

Be a man of faith, except totally what God has given you.

Habakkuk

The more of the world you have, the less the Holy Spirit will be able to move

The more you wanna possess, the more you'll lose

Uproot the impurities in you!

Ezekiel 40

You need to empty yourself so that you can let God fill your life!

We are drown cos we depended on our own strength. Actually even if we don't know how to swim we can still float if we relax in the water

Obey and submit to the word of God

1 Peter 2:22

Don't depend on your own feelings to fast or pray. Depend on God.

Amos 3:3
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Philip 1:6 God's part
2 peter 1:4 Our part
Prov 4:23- guard your heart
Mark 7:15, 20-23
Luke 6:43-45

God and us are a team! All team members must give something to the table. God gives love, grace, forgiveness, joy, we too must give all we have, our brokenness, our weaknesses, etc.






Wednesday, May 02, 2012

3rd revelation from kuching

The trek at bako national park was tough! The route through the forest were of different terrain and inclination. I'm sweating and breathing hard. The rocky terrain, steep slope and the slippery grip (plus my heavy backpack) really made me wonder if I could make it... to the beach and back. But what gave me confidence was that many had gone before me and made it! The wooden makeshift stairs (though looked dangerous and unsteady) was made by ppl who had trekked through this route and survived! That means I can do it too. And yes in the end, we all made it, even a 50 over year old aunty who went trekking with us. :-)


At the end of the trek, I felt really happy. Not only did we enjoyed the beach and finished the trek but more so cos I felt God encouraging me through this trek to not give up walking with Him. Yes, walking with Him may not be easy. There are many times I wondered if I could do it and sadly many times i've been dissapointed at myself. I wondered am I really a real christian sometimes- knowing my heart intentions and motives are so far from His, and not desiring to pray and read His Word sometimes. My life seemed to be like a roller coaster, up when inspired, down when not... Well and His answer to me was, look at the many who had gone before you! These ppl who really followed after me- george muller, bill bright, pastor lim ghee tiong, dr joon gon kim, hudson taylor, corrie ten boon, d l moody, they have lived so many years with God and some have already lived through their lives and all have made it, they've lived like real christians, they've lived an abundant life and a life of calling and obedience, a life without regrets, a life that's been greatly used by God. Look at the many who had gone before you, they've walked with Me and allow Me to be God of their lives. Now, the question is no longer if I can be a real and good christian cos I can never be, on my own but whether can I choose to walk with God and let God be God in my life all the days of my life. It is possible cos MANY (some not even published) had gone before me doing so.


So sharon, walk on with Jesus and never give up! :-)


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Friday, April 13, 2012

Revelations from kuching (it's long due!): Be Grateful

As promised, I want to share with you my 2 other revelations from the kuching trip!

Blogger driod has made blogging so much easier! I'm blogging now on the train!

Here goes revelation 1:

要感恩. Be grateful.

10 lepers healed, only 1 went all the way back to thank Jesus. Aloud! He couldn't contain the excitement that is in him! He had leprosy, suffered and now he's healed and cleansed! Can you imagine how happy and grateful he must be? Like wow Wow WOW i'm healed! I'm healed!

Oh how easily I get excited over what amazing things God has done and blessed me with, yet all too easily I forgot and become ungrateful, especially in the midst of storm. Sometimes I get so depressed and upset and forgot that God is still good.

So sharon be grateful! Wow Wow WOW! God is good, God is good! He provided for all my mission trips when i'm not working! He opened my eyes to hear and see how God touched and changed many lives! Rebellion turned obedient, drug addicts were set free. Gangster turned pastor and so so SO much more! He hold the rain when we were giving bibles in thailand! He gave me such good mentor and good friends! He miraculously told me ''I love you sharon, come back to me'' through a stranger when I looked super fine on the outside! He speaks to me! He told me that He'll uphold my right hand when I felt I can't go on anymore! And so much more! Click through the pages of my blog! God's goodness is meant to be shared! It helps me recall, remember and get excited all over again! I wanna share and be grateful always! :-)

Revelation 2:

Hmmm... Too late now, another day perhaps. Good night! :-)

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Monday, April 02, 2012

Insecurities

Dear God, help me to be secure in Your love and not look to the approval of others. Help me to be faithful and obedient, leaving the results to you. Take away my fear o Lord that I may be bold and courageous to obey You. In Jesus name I pray, amen.


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Training In Progress

God is really training me. I have no idea why ever since I graduated from advance dip and started working again, my self esteem has been really low... even till recently. It used to be really high in sec sch, poly, in later part of prev ward and in adv dip. I seemed to be always well loved and approved by others. I seemed to often be given impt roles and coming out with valid and smart ideas. But not now.


Sometimes when i speak, the reactions of people make me feel that i've said sth really dumb. Sometimes ppl more juniour than me could be smarter and more competent at work than me. Most of the time, my brain processor is so slow. Sometimes I feel like i've done a lousy job on stage when I spend majority of my free time preparing. Sometimes when I pray, people don't say amen. Sometimes, ppl doubt my ability and I don't get selected for impt roles. Sometimes, I find myself so easily fall into sin and becoming so unholy in my thoughts and actions than before. Seldom, do I hear ppl praising me now. Have my social circle shrank? Have I changed? Have my creative juices stop flowing? Maybe.


''Be faithful still, be obedient still and live by the approval of Me alone.'' God


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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Kuching trip (retrospective entry)

This was long due but was too busy to write. The kuching trip was not only a great leisure, a great rest but also a great spiritual journey. During one prayer meeting at blessed kuching church, God showed me that He is my Daddy! He loved me and would listen to me! He wouldn't give me a stone if I ask for bread or snake if I ask for an egg! Even earthly daddy, knowing evil would give us good things, how much more our heavenly Daddy! A man would still give you bread in the middle of the night if you keep asking, what more Heavenly Daddy,  What is in your heart today? Cry out to Him! 爸爸! 爸爸! 爸爸! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! At that moment I just cried out my heart to Him. I cried for my this patient who I had compassion for. He only came in for backache but he became confused, weak and deteriorated, seemed to have stroke out.  Why? I don't know. Daddy please help him. You are his Daddy too!!! (This patient was well again when i came back from kuching! Praise God!). I cried for myself, for being indifferent, for not listening and obeying God, for walking on my own for too long. I heard this teaching many times. But its the first time I was touched by it. First time I cried over it. Cos at that moment God seemed to speak directly at me. 我是你爸爸, 我爱你, 我喜欢听你说话... I'm your Father, your Daddy, I love you, I delight to hear your voice, tell me your heart, I love to listen to you speak.


It was such an awesome heart to heart talk I had with my Dad that night after a very long while. I want to remember this and be grateful always.


There's 2 more revelations from the trip I want to write but haven't got time now. Next time!


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Friday, March 30, 2012

Weaknesses

Poor memory, lack of focus, public speaking are some very evident weaknesses that sometimes causes me to get into trouble, feel bad or be embarrased about, especially when these weaknesses doesn't benefit others the way I hope to. Subconsciously, I'd defend myself and validate the reason for my poor memory. But after defending myself, I feel even worse cos I know it's bcos I didn't wanted to be vulnerable, I didn't wanted to be lousier than what others have in their mind of me and that's pride, isn't it? These weaknesses somehow become more evident in my life right now. Maybe the people I'm with are so much smarter than me now. Sometimes, I would start wishing... I wish I have better brains, I wish I'm wiser, smarter, cleverer, more talanted...

Then again, no one is perfect and it is because of these imperfections that I depend on God all the more. I believe when God calls me, He'll equip and empower. As how He called Moses, even though Moses is really lousy at public speaking, God reassured him, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say." (Ex.4:11-12) . Yes, it is You, O Lord, that make me speak, hear and see. I believe my weaknesses reminded me that You, Lord Jesus, Creator of me, my Heavenly Pa Pa, my closest Companion, my King, is and will be all I need. You told Paul, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So that Paul can say, "So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." (2 Cor. 12:9). Likewise for me.

Jesus, thank You for Your grace in my life. There are moments of glory and times when I'm really proud of myself. When I transferred school in p.6 and went to the only school and the only class that has space, I seemed to be so proud of my results in comparison to the rest. I soon realised that that's the last class. When I got a PSLE score of 219, I thought I was rather smart. In secondary school, I remembered recieving the best camper award in a St Johns camp and the following year, a best NCO (though there's only 4 NCO to choose from, I was still kind of proud). And soon I was appointed as the chief executive of YTSS SJAB. I really wondered how I got there. But it was a good experience. Working with my best pal, Zhen Wen (I feel that she got better leadership than I do), we organised trainings, activities, camps and hikes. It was really fun! In fact, many a times, she trained me. I remembered when I had to shout commands and lead contingent for SJ day/NDP. She stayed back to shout with me and even wrote me a card to encourage me. TT. I remembered how I was praised for my formal letter and AGM report. Then when I transferred to NA, I was the top few again. I remebered the composition I wrote was praised and being photocopied and distributed to the class, I remebered I topped geography in one of the class test without studying. I was within the top 10 in N levels with a score of 3 and O levels with a score of 15 (5 subjects) and 17 (6 subjects). Then, I became an officer and trained teams for competitions. I remembered how I got an A for one of the behavoural science modules in polytechnic when I started studying only after my best friend reminded me that there's a test after school. I remembered... the list goes on... O, how I wished I'm still there and always will be there, to feel smart, good and proud. But would I really want to know You and cry out to You when I feel I'm good on my own? Even if I'm gloroius my whole life, it will still end within 70-120 years but a relationship with You will last for eternity. And when I leave this earth, how much more joy will I have when I see You face to face, a God that I already have a relationship with all these while... to have You hold my hand as I depart earth. Beautiful.

Now as I look back, I see Your grace and Your hand in those moments of glory. Though now, I seemed to be the worst and lousiest among the ppl that's around me, I know I'm here as You will. Help me to be humble and learn. And by Your hand and by Your grace, I will continue on in this journey with You as I place my hope and confidence in You alone.

If I boast, let me boast in my God.