"How am I suppose to love ppl who constantly put me down, fake! despises me, dont even care abt me or how i feel, dishonest, rude, so unfair, dont like me, undeserving of my love???
-sharon (this is sth i struggled a lil bit more than usual lately in my workplace)
"But you cannot give to others what you have not received yourself, and so my hope is that, as you learn how much God loves you, you'll also let him heal your heart so that his love can flow freely through you. It's impossible to love others until you really feel loved yourself."
-daily hope with rick warren
"Ï'm reminded that I am too, a recipient of God's great UNCONDITIONAL love and mercy, even when I'm so undeserving."
-sharon
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Jus today i was thinking abt money, calculating how long would i nd to save (and scrimp) for a house in sg, say cheapest 200k? it would take 55 yrs, setting aside 300/mth!!! then what if i get married, say another 100k? that would be 25.25 yrs!!! and, then retirement, say i work till 67? and live till 100? another 33 yrs. if i spent 500 a mth, it would be approx 200k!!! that will be another 55 yrs!!! opps i didnt include my cpf. still, i think it would only decrease the years i have to scrimp and save by half which comes up to abt 68 years? Salary overseas seemed much much greener. I really wonder how my dadd feed 6 ppl and still able to buy a house and a car. God's provision really. As a child, I used to think that i'll be rich when i work but well, not anymore bcos now i am more far sighted than before. Its so "FAN4" to think abt such things. Thats why i nd an insurance, i guess all financial consultant will say so. Haha. Guess what? and so happen i'm on psalms 78!
PSALMS 78
11 They forgot what he had done—
the great wonders he had shown them,
12 the miracles he did for their ancestors
on the plain of Zoan in the land of Egypt.
13 For he divided the sea and led them through,
making the water stand up like walls!
14 In the daytime he led them by a cloud,
and all night by a pillar of fire.
15 He split open the rocks in the wilderness
to give them water, as from a gushing spring.
16 He made streams pour from the rock,
making the waters flow down like a river!
17 Yet they kept on sinning against him,
rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
18 They stubbornly tested God in their hearts,
demanding the foods they craved.
19 They even spoke against God himself, saying,
“God can’t give us food in the wilderness.
20 Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out,
but he can’t give his people bread and meat.”
21 When the Lord heard them, he was furious.
The fire of his wrath burned against Jacob.
Yes, his anger rose against Israel,
22 for they did not believe God
or trust him to care for them.
Yes, like the Isrealites, sometimes, I forgot I have a rich Daddy God! If money were to consume all my time, energy, mind and soul, if i slogged and save so hard to give myself a decent life here on earth, and at the end of my life, I find myself having nth at all, maybe jus skull and bones, I guess thats sth really sad. Not at all like the abundant life God promises. But as I seek Him and His kingdom first, as I bless others with the little that I have, He gave me so much more, it may not be materially but i'm blessed bcos i know Him more. I felt that is the greatest blessing anyone could have. To have a real relationship with God and to know Him more. To obey Him and to live out His purposes and as I do so, to trust that He will meet my needs, even physcial ones. He provided me with a job, with abundance of food at home! As I remembered how he provided for me during mission trip, as i remembered how i passed each exam when i have lesser time to study in poly than the rest of my friends, as i remembered how he healed me when i was sick, as i remembered how he spoke personally to me, words of love, words of confidence, words of encouragement... how he had been so very near. As He divinely meet me and showed me He is all the Bible says He is, Love, Merciful, Patient, My Provider, My Healer, The Rock, Giver of all good things, how then can I not trust Him to care for me? I think I'd be so foolish to say I cant trust God after all the things He had done in my life and the lives of so many others, in the past and present.
When I left with only skull and bones which I cannot even bring with me,
I have You with me for eternity.
Thats the best thing man!
PSALMS 78
11 They forgot what he had done—
the great wonders he had shown them,
12 the miracles he did for their ancestors
on the plain of Zoan in the land of Egypt.
13 For he divided the sea and led them through,
making the water stand up like walls!
14 In the daytime he led them by a cloud,
and all night by a pillar of fire.
15 He split open the rocks in the wilderness
to give them water, as from a gushing spring.
16 He made streams pour from the rock,
making the waters flow down like a river!
17 Yet they kept on sinning against him,
rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
18 They stubbornly tested God in their hearts,
demanding the foods they craved.
19 They even spoke against God himself, saying,
“God can’t give us food in the wilderness.
20 Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out,
but he can’t give his people bread and meat.”
21 When the Lord heard them, he was furious.
The fire of his wrath burned against Jacob.
Yes, his anger rose against Israel,
22 for they did not believe God
or trust him to care for them.
Yes, like the Isrealites, sometimes, I forgot I have a rich Daddy God! If money were to consume all my time, energy, mind and soul, if i slogged and save so hard to give myself a decent life here on earth, and at the end of my life, I find myself having nth at all, maybe jus skull and bones, I guess thats sth really sad. Not at all like the abundant life God promises. But as I seek Him and His kingdom first, as I bless others with the little that I have, He gave me so much more, it may not be materially but i'm blessed bcos i know Him more. I felt that is the greatest blessing anyone could have. To have a real relationship with God and to know Him more. To obey Him and to live out His purposes and as I do so, to trust that He will meet my needs, even physcial ones. He provided me with a job, with abundance of food at home! As I remembered how he provided for me during mission trip, as i remembered how i passed each exam when i have lesser time to study in poly than the rest of my friends, as i remembered how he healed me when i was sick, as i remembered how he spoke personally to me, words of love, words of confidence, words of encouragement... how he had been so very near. As He divinely meet me and showed me He is all the Bible says He is, Love, Merciful, Patient, My Provider, My Healer, The Rock, Giver of all good things, how then can I not trust Him to care for me? I think I'd be so foolish to say I cant trust God after all the things He had done in my life and the lives of so many others, in the past and present.
When I left with only skull and bones which I cannot even bring with me,
I have You with me for eternity.
Thats the best thing man!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
its been a long and tiring day.
talked to God with mixed emotions.
was it bcos of the over commitment of activities?
well, maybe.
is it bcos of post night?
could be too.
its one of the days whr thr's so many why God.
why did i find myself doing so much? loving, praying, hoping, giving... yet i cant even trace a fruit sprouting out of the tree.
everything seemed so futile.
why God am i feeling so dissapionted and frustrated?
i dont want to feel so.
i should trust in You right?
Then I went to run and swam and run. Its the adrenaline rush or rather the release of emotions. From home to pool, 30 laps and back home. On the way home, I had stiches and backache. As I was about to stop, these words came. Keep running, keep loving, keep praying, keep hoping, it's painful, its hard, it can be dissapionting and frustrating but keep on going. Perservere, you will see the finish line. I ran all the way back home.
Lord, will you hold my hand as we run this race together? Cos its hard,
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagle, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31)
I give thanks bcos You are near. (Psalms 75:1) =)
talked to God with mixed emotions.
was it bcos of the over commitment of activities?
well, maybe.
is it bcos of post night?
could be too.
its one of the days whr thr's so many why God.
why did i find myself doing so much? loving, praying, hoping, giving... yet i cant even trace a fruit sprouting out of the tree.
everything seemed so futile.
why God am i feeling so dissapionted and frustrated?
i dont want to feel so.
i should trust in You right?
Then I went to run and swam and run. Its the adrenaline rush or rather the release of emotions. From home to pool, 30 laps and back home. On the way home, I had stiches and backache. As I was about to stop, these words came. Keep running, keep loving, keep praying, keep hoping, it's painful, its hard, it can be dissapionting and frustrating but keep on going. Perservere, you will see the finish line. I ran all the way back home.
Lord, will you hold my hand as we run this race together? Cos its hard,
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagle, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31)
I give thanks bcos You are near. (Psalms 75:1) =)
Saturday, December 05, 2009
new template
I like my new template, thank God it isnt very time consuming! =)
Its been a very busy week with farewells, gatherings, kids camp. Its been a mad rush and i felt so tired. Totally neglected my source of strength and help. Yet, God is always good and He is always faithful. When I turn to Him, He is always there =)
In the midst of activities, I found Him again, being so real. Just felt Him drawing me back to His loving arms again, back to the closeness we once shared.
I desire worship, not sacrifice. I desire a relationship with you more than what you can do for me bcos I love you so much. -GOD-
Its been a very busy week with farewells, gatherings, kids camp. Its been a mad rush and i felt so tired. Totally neglected my source of strength and help. Yet, God is always good and He is always faithful. When I turn to Him, He is always there =)
In the midst of activities, I found Him again, being so real. Just felt Him drawing me back to His loving arms again, back to the closeness we once shared.
I desire worship, not sacrifice. I desire a relationship with you more than what you can do for me bcos I love you so much. -GOD-
Sunday, November 22, 2009
happy birthday!
i cant slp cos i slept 3 hrs in the afternoon.
Anw, i still have much to thank God for!
Thank for for transport home sometimes, thank God for friends who cele my bday and all the well wishes, thank God for difficult situations at work that didnt have serious consequences (things could be worse if no one intervene), in fact, those difficult situations have turned into precious lessons. Thank God for bringing me thru kids service week after week, even though i'm not so gd at public speaking/teaching/leading/thinking of games, but i must say it is really GOD. Thank God for christian friends surrounding me, they have been a great form of encouragement, thank God... many a times, i keep praying cos i jus know, i need HIM more and more, cos i really dunno what i will do... jus felt so blur sometimes...
yet i know the bible says if anyone lack wisdom, he should ask, ask and it'll be given... i need memory, i need wisdom, i need to be alert and meticulous... i'm still learning. i need to ask God. There's more still to thank God for, the earth, the air, the life that i have, the pair of hands that i have, the job, the $$$ and... and the internet, oh yes, i almost forgot!! =) and hearing from jx at the nyp sccc alumni gathering has been a great encouragement too... to hearing and seeing how his life transformed from one not so sociable, abit beng boy in yr 1 to now... one that is so encouraging, sharing his life and one that is truly being set free from bitterness! I see him glow now, in God's glory =)
and pray together with me that my sis, tc and myself can find find a suitable cell and church. i know thr's no perfect church/cell, for me, its jus one tt i dont nd to request off on sun and yet able to attend cos i cant request off on weekends and also, a cell that is on weekday... hopefully similar age grp, easier to relate to (thanks eileen for that!), main focus is of cos God and being in the center of His will. cos being a christian is not jus abt me growing alone with God. what yw say is so true. thanks. talking to yw and jl, my collaugue also helped me realised an old lesson. that if we ddint on the engine, the wheel cant be steered. so i have to move first, and not jus pray and pray without moving... as i move, God will steer =)
Anw, i still have much to thank God for!
Thank for for transport home sometimes, thank God for friends who cele my bday and all the well wishes, thank God for difficult situations at work that didnt have serious consequences (things could be worse if no one intervene), in fact, those difficult situations have turned into precious lessons. Thank God for bringing me thru kids service week after week, even though i'm not so gd at public speaking/teaching/leading/thinking of games, but i must say it is really GOD. Thank God for christian friends surrounding me, they have been a great form of encouragement, thank God... many a times, i keep praying cos i jus know, i need HIM more and more, cos i really dunno what i will do... jus felt so blur sometimes...
yet i know the bible says if anyone lack wisdom, he should ask, ask and it'll be given... i need memory, i need wisdom, i need to be alert and meticulous... i'm still learning. i need to ask God. There's more still to thank God for, the earth, the air, the life that i have, the pair of hands that i have, the job, the $$$ and... and the internet, oh yes, i almost forgot!! =) and hearing from jx at the nyp sccc alumni gathering has been a great encouragement too... to hearing and seeing how his life transformed from one not so sociable, abit beng boy in yr 1 to now... one that is so encouraging, sharing his life and one that is truly being set free from bitterness! I see him glow now, in God's glory =)
and pray together with me that my sis, tc and myself can find find a suitable cell and church. i know thr's no perfect church/cell, for me, its jus one tt i dont nd to request off on sun and yet able to attend cos i cant request off on weekends and also, a cell that is on weekday... hopefully similar age grp, easier to relate to (thanks eileen for that!), main focus is of cos God and being in the center of His will. cos being a christian is not jus abt me growing alone with God. what yw say is so true. thanks. talking to yw and jl, my collaugue also helped me realised an old lesson. that if we ddint on the engine, the wheel cant be steered. so i have to move first, and not jus pray and pray without moving... as i move, God will steer =)
Friday, November 13, 2009
hello again!
after mths without technology...
hello again! =)
bought a new PC (shared with my sis)!
yay!
hello again! =)
bought a new PC (shared with my sis)!
yay!
Thursday, September 03, 2009
i met up with tc ytd, and i thought this is interesting =)
he shared this,
sometimes after service/bs/dg you felt that you have just eaten good food. maybe rice with crab, crayfish, fish soup and durains? you felt so satisfied.
in such times, give thanks.
there are also times after service/bs/dg you felt that you have only ate plain porrigde.
in such times, pray. pray for your pastor, ur bsl, your dgl becos they may b gg thru tough times, mayb they may be far from God or have doubts. maybe like job who lost all his sons and daughters? well, we never know, but God knows.
thats what family are for! everyone plays a part! =)
he shared this,
sometimes after service/bs/dg you felt that you have just eaten good food. maybe rice with crab, crayfish, fish soup and durains? you felt so satisfied.
in such times, give thanks.
there are also times after service/bs/dg you felt that you have only ate plain porrigde.
in such times, pray. pray for your pastor, ur bsl, your dgl becos they may b gg thru tough times, mayb they may be far from God or have doubts. maybe like job who lost all his sons and daughters? well, we never know, but God knows.
thats what family are for! everyone plays a part! =)
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
i really wanna drive... but i can only start in sept cos all the aug slots are fully booked =(
i made new specs... but i dont take care of my things well cos i always put my specs on my bed. opps. so i dont wear contacts. when i'm too tired i'll prob slp with it... but i will try to take care of my new specs!
yea, i realised i have been blogging! haha, maybe i cut down alot on meeting with ppl cos of tiredness but i nd an avenue to share my thoughts too yea =) and so here i am!
yea kammy =)
i made new specs... but i dont take care of my things well cos i always put my specs on my bed. opps. so i dont wear contacts. when i'm too tired i'll prob slp with it... but i will try to take care of my new specs!
yea, i realised i have been blogging! haha, maybe i cut down alot on meeting with ppl cos of tiredness but i nd an avenue to share my thoughts too yea =) and so here i am!
yea kammy =)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I LIKE...
casuarina curry...
nice mutton mutarbak large can share among 3 guys and 5 girls cost only $9!
located at upp thomson i think but i dunno hw to go.
nice place to chill...
tea time party at bukit timah sixth avenue.
we ate and played.
its somewhat like minds cafe.
nice dim sum
wen tou sek at geylang.
this one i also duno hw to go :p
steamboat at bugis
changing appetites at marina sq
hmmmmm what else...
nothing comes to mind.
casuarina curry...
nice mutton mutarbak large can share among 3 guys and 5 girls cost only $9!
located at upp thomson i think but i dunno hw to go.
nice place to chill...
tea time party at bukit timah sixth avenue.
we ate and played.
its somewhat like minds cafe.
nice dim sum
wen tou sek at geylang.
this one i also duno hw to go :p
steamboat at bugis
changing appetites at marina sq
hmmmmm what else...
nothing comes to mind.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
God is good, He is really so good.
I just felt His love overflowing as I worship Him jus now. I read about how Absalom (David's son) was killed in a battle and how when David heard of it, wept and mourned for his son. But the thing is, Absalom actually conspired against David to snatch his throne. Yet, his love for his son was still so unwavering strong. It kinda touched my heart. I think all parents would love their kids no matter how bad they are. And God the father will too, probably much more than what we could ever think of or imagine. To think he actually sent His Son to suffer and die for our sins...
And I wanna tell you abt the time when I wasnt motivated to go to work. Yet, we all have to work. Not only I dreaded work but everything else in life, wash dishes, fold the clothes, empty the bin... i grew indiffernce to the mess in my hse. It's... for no particular reason, nth spectacular happened in my life. I dont even know how to describe the feeling, I dont know hw it came abt...s... everything is so sianzzzz.. etc. Maybe, the thoughts that the world give, I haven't exchanged it for truth that God says. I tried to think of the verses I know. But I still felt... sianzzzzzzz. I know we shouldnt depend on feelings too much yet... somtimes its hard... you know what I mean? I'm like having an internal battle, talking to myself when I felt sooo desperate and said GOD I NEED YOU, I REALLY REALLY DO. He came and took away the -ve feeling. And He made my time with Him exciting again.
I just felt His love overflowing as I worship Him jus now. I read about how Absalom (David's son) was killed in a battle and how when David heard of it, wept and mourned for his son. But the thing is, Absalom actually conspired against David to snatch his throne. Yet, his love for his son was still so unwavering strong. It kinda touched my heart. I think all parents would love their kids no matter how bad they are. And God the father will too, probably much more than what we could ever think of or imagine. To think he actually sent His Son to suffer and die for our sins...
And I wanna tell you abt the time when I wasnt motivated to go to work. Yet, we all have to work. Not only I dreaded work but everything else in life, wash dishes, fold the clothes, empty the bin... i grew indiffernce to the mess in my hse. It's... for no particular reason, nth spectacular happened in my life. I dont even know how to describe the feeling, I dont know hw it came abt...s... everything is so sianzzzz.. etc. Maybe, the thoughts that the world give, I haven't exchanged it for truth that God says. I tried to think of the verses I know. But I still felt... sianzzzzzzz. I know we shouldnt depend on feelings too much yet... somtimes its hard... you know what I mean? I'm like having an internal battle, talking to myself when I felt sooo desperate and said GOD I NEED YOU, I REALLY REALLY DO. He came and took away the -ve feeling. And He made my time with Him exciting again.
Friday, July 24, 2009
i'm off. =)
thank God for the 4 peaceful nights that I had. It's really nice working this round of night compared to those that were so hectic and full of call bells.
i still haven't get my tagboard.
but there's alot of things to thank God for.
esp the many times he answered my prayers.
ytd met up with fw. really glad to have such a personal talk with her. and i enjoyed it lots. God taught me many things as I begin to be involve in her life again. i ventured into the r/s, commited, trusting again and am prepared for risk. i believe thats what my God will do. To love us all the way, even when He know He'll be hurt... thats love. thats loving unconditionally.
i really feel that ppl shouldnt comment or judge others when they dont even know the person well or understand the circumstances tt the person is in.
i'm learning to love ppl, and trying, as how i know my God would.
i need to know the truth and be anchored to truth cos the world is decietful and even my heart can be too.
never give up on ppl as God never gives up on us.
=)
some lighter happenings =)
i'm learning driving and i realised its not easy at all!! its more that jus turning the steering wheels and stepping the accelerator.
but its only the beginning cos i only passed my basic theory trial test.
long way to go...
but i'm God gave me lessons thru this too, even if its jus basic theory trial test.
i walked into the room full of confidence, i can almost memorise the whole green book yet my first attempt. 43/50. FAILED. what?! i walked out feeling like a total failure. everyone said its so easy and i actually failed. Then I remembered God.
God help me to pass, I can't do this on my own. It's too easy to fail and yet I failed. Well, maybe its for my own gd that I failed. I will study harder so I can be a safe driver and drive ppl ard. I WILL STUDY HARDERRR!!!
and i booked my the next slot, sitiing at ssdc studying. this time, i know everything is in God's control not mine. If I pass, I praise God. If I fail, I praise God too for He allows it and its for my own good.
and...
I PASSED!!! 49/50!!!
there's so much diff in the qns. but God gave me the easeir qns for my 2nd attempt. will be taking my BTT this coming mon and so, same prayer =)
*excited*
thank God for the 4 peaceful nights that I had. It's really nice working this round of night compared to those that were so hectic and full of call bells.
i still haven't get my tagboard.
but there's alot of things to thank God for.
esp the many times he answered my prayers.
ytd met up with fw. really glad to have such a personal talk with her. and i enjoyed it lots. God taught me many things as I begin to be involve in her life again. i ventured into the r/s, commited, trusting again and am prepared for risk. i believe thats what my God will do. To love us all the way, even when He know He'll be hurt... thats love. thats loving unconditionally.
i really feel that ppl shouldnt comment or judge others when they dont even know the person well or understand the circumstances tt the person is in.
i'm learning to love ppl, and trying, as how i know my God would.
i need to know the truth and be anchored to truth cos the world is decietful and even my heart can be too.
never give up on ppl as God never gives up on us.
=)
some lighter happenings =)
i'm learning driving and i realised its not easy at all!! its more that jus turning the steering wheels and stepping the accelerator.
but its only the beginning cos i only passed my basic theory trial test.
long way to go...
but i'm God gave me lessons thru this too, even if its jus basic theory trial test.
i walked into the room full of confidence, i can almost memorise the whole green book yet my first attempt. 43/50. FAILED. what?! i walked out feeling like a total failure. everyone said its so easy and i actually failed. Then I remembered God.
God help me to pass, I can't do this on my own. It's too easy to fail and yet I failed. Well, maybe its for my own gd that I failed. I will study harder so I can be a safe driver and drive ppl ard. I WILL STUDY HARDERRR!!!
and i booked my the next slot, sitiing at ssdc studying. this time, i know everything is in God's control not mine. If I pass, I praise God. If I fail, I praise God too for He allows it and its for my own good.
and...
I PASSED!!! 49/50!!!
there's so much diff in the qns. but God gave me the easeir qns for my 2nd attempt. will be taking my BTT this coming mon and so, same prayer =)
*excited*
Thursday, June 11, 2009
amazingly inspiring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9KsrH377A&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY
Put this 2 vid. together. God seemed to be telling me that, "hey sharon, I dont make junks. I made you to shine! I made you good. You dont need to be like other ppl to shine. Now, go and shine!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY
Put this 2 vid. together. God seemed to be telling me that, "hey sharon, I dont make junks. I made you to shine! I made you good. You dont need to be like other ppl to shine. Now, go and shine!"
Saturday, May 30, 2009
All that I have is Yours
What can we give that You have not given
And what do we have that is not already Yours
All we posees are this life we're living
And that's what we give to Your Lord
Sometimes its easy to forget that:
The 4 prawns that I caught
The praises of beauty, cuteness and being nice
Money
Time
I thought they are mine
But it fact, they are Yours and I'm a steward of them
All glory goes back to God, my creator, the giver of all good things.
I want to be a good steward, to use them wisely, to use them for the more impt things in life.
Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33
And what do we have that is not already Yours
All we posees are this life we're living
And that's what we give to Your Lord
Sometimes its easy to forget that:
The 4 prawns that I caught
The praises of beauty, cuteness and being nice
Money
Time
I thought they are mine
But it fact, they are Yours and I'm a steward of them
All glory goes back to God, my creator, the giver of all good things.
I want to be a good steward, to use them wisely, to use them for the more impt things in life.
Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33
Monday, May 25, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
no swine!
Thank God my dad dont have swine.
Haha, I think he got scared by my remarks that he went to have a test.
LOL.
and his bld results were normal.
And yay! my dad came back from canada. =)
Psalms 91:1
Those who dwell in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
I fear many things. Thrice, this verse comforted me this week. I feel secure in Him.
Haha, I think he got scared by my remarks that he went to have a test.
LOL.
and his bld results were normal.
And yay! my dad came back from canada. =)
Psalms 91:1
Those who dwell in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
I fear many things. Thrice, this verse comforted me this week. I feel secure in Him.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Laziness
I was dreading to wake up today when I was reminded by a verse I memorised sometime ago and I saw it again in the toilet ytd (sometimes its gd pasting things in front of the toilet bowl)
Ecc 10:18
Because of laziness, a house decays and through idleness of hands, a house leaks.
I jumped out of the sofa and started my day. =) Hahaha.
Ecc 10:18
Because of laziness, a house decays and through idleness of hands, a house leaks.
I jumped out of the sofa and started my day. =) Hahaha.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
i like blogging cos i will re read it but i seldom read my dairies cos of my handwritings and too many of them.
A sudden revelation came as i listened to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OfhL6dyQpM&feature=PlayList&p=9BCEBEA9EC0E22AF&index=0&playnext=1
I've been running to the things that Person can give and not the Person Himself.
I've been running to healing, but not the Healer.
I've been running to sleep and time for myself (I thought I'm resting), but not the Person who will cause me to rest.
I've been running after owning things, but not my Inheritance.
I've been running after food, water and money but not My Provider
I've been running after love, but not Love
I've been running after grace, but not Grace
I see it now.
=)
That was meant for myself but this entry is meant for my friends:
Can we go kopitiam next time instead of restuarants or cafes?
This doesnt mean I think the meetup is not an important one. The meetup is important but the place is not important, the person that I'm meeting with is. It's your presence that matters not the place.
For one reason or another I've bcome more "aunty" in some sense while learning to live independantly, taking care of the home, the bills, my bro allowance and the groceries. I learn to spend within my means but sometimes bcos of my weakness (like waking up late, I take cab to work). All the more, I need to be thrifty while I work on my weaknesses. I still tend to have the nature of giving but its so much lesser now, within my means. I have to control my expenses now and be disciplined, though I really wanna go nice places with ppl.
And I know my friends are all very kind and have the nature of giving as well. But I just dont like to see ppl giving me things that I feel its not worth the money. Like a cup of coffee for seven dollars? You digest it and it bcomes... Its not the coffee I enjoy, its your presence and you've given that. Youve given something precious, your time and yourself. Thats really enough, for me =)
Hope you understand.
A sudden revelation came as i listened to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OfhL6dyQpM&feature=PlayList&p=9BCEBEA9EC0E22AF&index=0&playnext=1
I've been running to the things that Person can give and not the Person Himself.
I've been running to healing, but not the Healer.
I've been running to sleep and time for myself (I thought I'm resting), but not the Person who will cause me to rest.
I've been running after owning things, but not my Inheritance.
I've been running after food, water and money but not My Provider
I've been running after love, but not Love
I've been running after grace, but not Grace
I see it now.
=)
That was meant for myself but this entry is meant for my friends:
Can we go kopitiam next time instead of restuarants or cafes?
This doesnt mean I think the meetup is not an important one. The meetup is important but the place is not important, the person that I'm meeting with is. It's your presence that matters not the place.
For one reason or another I've bcome more "aunty" in some sense while learning to live independantly, taking care of the home, the bills, my bro allowance and the groceries. I learn to spend within my means but sometimes bcos of my weakness (like waking up late, I take cab to work). All the more, I need to be thrifty while I work on my weaknesses. I still tend to have the nature of giving but its so much lesser now, within my means. I have to control my expenses now and be disciplined, though I really wanna go nice places with ppl.
And I know my friends are all very kind and have the nature of giving as well. But I just dont like to see ppl giving me things that I feel its not worth the money. Like a cup of coffee for seven dollars? You digest it and it bcomes... Its not the coffee I enjoy, its your presence and you've given that. Youve given something precious, your time and yourself. Thats really enough, for me =)
Hope you understand.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Knowing i'm like a baby is part and parcel of growing up right?
Only can an adult feel like that right?
Can a baby says I'm too baby-ish?
I dont think so.
Prob I'm an adult but act like a baby.
I make expectations in r/s, in ppl or even God, and when they dont happen I get dissapointed.
Isnt that like a baby, always reaching my hands and recieving? And when people dont give you what they want you feel they dont love you?
Even the most sure and steadfast love I can doubt, but You are always patient and merciful to show me You still love me.
God, I think you are very hurt by my attitude sometimes. I seemed to be always asking you for this and that but not making any effort to love you like not taking time to develop that r/s with you. I think I probably irritaed you many times. Like, sinning against you and still have the cheek to ask you for this and that. Knew you are merciful but I took advantage of that. I think I'm not a good person. I dont see any good in me.
Yet, you've always chased after me with unfailing love.
How can that be?
How true this song is...
"Nothing you can do, to make Him love you more
And nothing you have done, could make Him close the door.
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son, everything was done so you would come.
Broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all..."
Indeed,
Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in Your hands...
I want to stop being a baby and always recieve but as much as I recieved Your sure and steadfast love, may I give as well. May I be patient and merciful as You are.
I want to chase after You.
Only can an adult feel like that right?
Can a baby says I'm too baby-ish?
I dont think so.
Prob I'm an adult but act like a baby.
I make expectations in r/s, in ppl or even God, and when they dont happen I get dissapointed.
Isnt that like a baby, always reaching my hands and recieving? And when people dont give you what they want you feel they dont love you?
Even the most sure and steadfast love I can doubt, but You are always patient and merciful to show me You still love me.
God, I think you are very hurt by my attitude sometimes. I seemed to be always asking you for this and that but not making any effort to love you like not taking time to develop that r/s with you. I think I probably irritaed you many times. Like, sinning against you and still have the cheek to ask you for this and that. Knew you are merciful but I took advantage of that. I think I'm not a good person. I dont see any good in me.
Yet, you've always chased after me with unfailing love.
How can that be?
How true this song is...
"Nothing you can do, to make Him love you more
And nothing you have done, could make Him close the door.
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son, everything was done so you would come.
Broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all..."
Indeed,
Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in Your hands...
I want to stop being a baby and always recieve but as much as I recieved Your sure and steadfast love, may I give as well. May I be patient and merciful as You are.
I want to chase after You.
After some thoughts, I decided that even if I were to be angry with someone in the furure, I will still not express my anger towards the person until i can rationalise and logically judge the whole matter better when i'm cooled. I have to first remove the log in my eye to see the speck of dust in other ppl's eye, which means to say, I can't always think that the other person wronged me, I have to scrutinize myself first to get a clearer pic cos most of the time, we dont. I believe this is not being hypocritical bcos being a hypocrite is a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude (which i think i am ytd) but next time my intention shall not be to feign to be desirable but instead, it is to rationalise things so that i will not speak out of anger but of love.
I think its not about what you do that is right or wrong but its about why you are doing what you are doing, your heart intentions that matters.
I think its not about what you do that is right or wrong but its about why you are doing what you are doing, your heart intentions that matters.
Monday, May 11, 2009
dear taggers, i feel so warm coming here cos of ur taggs sometimes.
dwl: :)
yunz: its meaningful too. glad u enjoyed it =)
Proverbs 3:12
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
had a bad day today. was being showered with scoldings but beyond that, i realised many things (maybe i've realised them long ago but wasnt that bothered abt it till it hurts).
truth hurts, (not that i agree everything tt my boss scold me abt)
but i can have 2 reactions.
1. everyone is doing it! why am i the only one being scolded! (which i did initially). i really felt like my boss was biased (maybe or maybe not)!
or
2. thank God for not leaving me where i am.
truth #1 i dont have much structure in my life.
say, messiness- its so evident in my room now.
being late- likes to off the alarm n slp.
passivity- not taking initiatives.
lack of discipline- cant follow thru things.
why can't i have more self-disciplined?
i guess its just an area i have to learn and grow in.
I want to grow in discipline.
truth #2 i realise i can act so well sometimes (in other words hypocritical- i dont like that!)
like, i'm so hurt and angry but i can still talk to the person like i'm not affected (although sometimes its wise, i feel, not to say anything or react till you've processed thru. You wont want your emotions to get the better of you. When you speak, its wiser to say it out of love.).
i was crying halfway, picked up the phone and naturally stopped crying
why can't i be real?
mayb i'm afraid of being labelled as a cry baby or over-sensitive which ppl have always commented since my childhood. i dont want to be!
mayb i feel that even if i cry in front of others, they cant really undertsand cos they're not in it or not me. they may think its jus a small prob, its hard and tiring for them to see me cry so often at lil things.
mayb its an issue of acceptance. mayb its an issue of trust.
Even so, i do cry alot... when its beyond my control... like when the balloon burst and really, dont have to be bothered by it, cos I wont cry for a lifetime, haha, its okay. And most of the time, I'll really think its a small issue actually.
I want to grow in Truth.
truth #3 bended principles to fit in
i told myself i would never put anyone down behind his/her back, even if its the truth but i jus did. It's hard when you also agree with what your friends have to say abt him/her.
why can't i rather be straight forward?
mayb i'm not so close to the person and bcos truth really hurts, its hard to tell. mayb i havent find the appropriate time to tell.
mayb i dont know how to express myself well (i'm better if i sit down and thought through, organisise my thoughts a lil. i dont do well in impromptus. i guess thats why i'm a better writer than speaker.)- BUT ITS NOT A GD EXCUSE!
Mayb, i cant love the person? Well, afterall, its only someone who love you enough to want to see you change for the better that they will go through the trouble of putting your problems in words that is not too hurting, isnt it?
Tell me how to love an unloving person enough...
Teach me please.
I want to grow in Love.
So i'm grateful at this time to have Someone who loved me enough to not leave me where I am. And though it hurts alot, I'm grateful for that Someone whom I can be real to, and share my most intimate thoughts and feelings with, knowing that Someone will be with you thru your growth process.
Just a few days ago, I told some ppl that I wanna grow... but I dunno in what areas. Now I know. =)
dwl: :)
yunz: its meaningful too. glad u enjoyed it =)
Proverbs 3:12
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
had a bad day today. was being showered with scoldings but beyond that, i realised many things (maybe i've realised them long ago but wasnt that bothered abt it till it hurts).
truth hurts, (not that i agree everything tt my boss scold me abt)
but i can have 2 reactions.
1. everyone is doing it! why am i the only one being scolded! (which i did initially). i really felt like my boss was biased (maybe or maybe not)!
or
2. thank God for not leaving me where i am.
truth #1 i dont have much structure in my life.
say, messiness- its so evident in my room now.
being late- likes to off the alarm n slp.
passivity- not taking initiatives.
lack of discipline- cant follow thru things.
why can't i have more self-disciplined?
i guess its just an area i have to learn and grow in.
I want to grow in discipline.
truth #2 i realise i can act so well sometimes (in other words hypocritical- i dont like that!)
like, i'm so hurt and angry but i can still talk to the person like i'm not affected (although sometimes its wise, i feel, not to say anything or react till you've processed thru. You wont want your emotions to get the better of you. When you speak, its wiser to say it out of love.).
i was crying halfway, picked up the phone and naturally stopped crying
why can't i be real?
mayb i'm afraid of being labelled as a cry baby or over-sensitive which ppl have always commented since my childhood. i dont want to be!
mayb i feel that even if i cry in front of others, they cant really undertsand cos they're not in it or not me. they may think its jus a small prob, its hard and tiring for them to see me cry so often at lil things.
mayb its an issue of acceptance. mayb its an issue of trust.
Even so, i do cry alot... when its beyond my control... like when the balloon burst and really, dont have to be bothered by it, cos I wont cry for a lifetime, haha, its okay. And most of the time, I'll really think its a small issue actually.
I want to grow in Truth.
truth #3 bended principles to fit in
i told myself i would never put anyone down behind his/her back, even if its the truth but i jus did. It's hard when you also agree with what your friends have to say abt him/her.
why can't i rather be straight forward?
mayb i'm not so close to the person and bcos truth really hurts, its hard to tell. mayb i havent find the appropriate time to tell.
mayb i dont know how to express myself well (i'm better if i sit down and thought through, organisise my thoughts a lil. i dont do well in impromptus. i guess thats why i'm a better writer than speaker.)- BUT ITS NOT A GD EXCUSE!
Mayb, i cant love the person? Well, afterall, its only someone who love you enough to want to see you change for the better that they will go through the trouble of putting your problems in words that is not too hurting, isnt it?
Tell me how to love an unloving person enough...
Teach me please.
I want to grow in Love.
So i'm grateful at this time to have Someone who loved me enough to not leave me where I am. And though it hurts alot, I'm grateful for that Someone whom I can be real to, and share my most intimate thoughts and feelings with, knowing that Someone will be with you thru your growth process.
Just a few days ago, I told some ppl that I wanna grow... but I dunno in what areas. Now I know. =)
Saturday, May 02, 2009
kam: yupp okay! =) thanks
infinity: thanks qi, hope we can meet up! =)
odie: okay. thanks =)
liane: yea, sure do. time past fast. jo is studying in sim! =)
davin: coming to church later! =)
dwl: yea sis, i know even when we dont meet, we are still a big family of God! =)
yun: you are always so sweet. so happy to attend hp wedd & to meet up with you guys. missed poly days. haha, and waiting for ur gd news~!
rachelyn: i'm so glad to hear that! =)
venod: sorry for MIA-ing so long fr sjab! :s
i'm still clearing my house... when will i finish clearing?
These few mths have been rather busy with the housework, rather than clearing my house. I never knew a homemaker can be that busy too. But well, its a good experience for me to learn to be independant and to prepare for the future isnt it? keke.
Though I seldom meet up with friends but I thank God that our r/s is not strained. I really have a bunch of good friends. I appreciate once in a while gathering like huiping's wedding. Enjoyed myself; surprised; reminences...
infinity: thanks qi, hope we can meet up! =)
odie: okay. thanks =)
liane: yea, sure do. time past fast. jo is studying in sim! =)
davin: coming to church later! =)
dwl: yea sis, i know even when we dont meet, we are still a big family of God! =)
yun: you are always so sweet. so happy to attend hp wedd & to meet up with you guys. missed poly days. haha, and waiting for ur gd news~!
rachelyn: i'm so glad to hear that! =)
venod: sorry for MIA-ing so long fr sjab! :s
i'm still clearing my house... when will i finish clearing?
These few mths have been rather busy with the housework, rather than clearing my house. I never knew a homemaker can be that busy too. But well, its a good experience for me to learn to be independant and to prepare for the future isnt it? keke.
Though I seldom meet up with friends but I thank God that our r/s is not strained. I really have a bunch of good friends. I appreciate once in a while gathering like huiping's wedding. Enjoyed myself; surprised; reminences...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thanks for your concern, kamsiah, odie, dwl, davin, yunz, rachelyn and thanks loveGod for that info. It sure feels good to know that people still cares for you, really. Appreciate that alot. =)
Sorry for being missing in action for so long.
AND for not replying msges, miss calls, so on and so forth.
Probably I've been busy for too long in my life. I've been out most of the time eversince i joined st john in sec sch. Even during the hols, i'm seldom at home. I haven't seen my grandma for 8 years bcos we always have activities during the holidays. I seldom had time for my family, though I loved them. My younger brother, elder brother, my elder sister, my mummy and my daddy, i loved them alot. I've always wanted to spend time with my family. I've always wanted to see my grandma. But, somehow, there's always another friend to meet, another meeting to attend, another something. I just want some time to spend with my family and ignore all other request. I just want to clear my home and make it nice and neat so that my family will feel like coming home and be proud of our home. I just want our family to be united, to love one another in the love of God, to do things together, to worship and serve at the same church. I wished we could all stay in the same block when we grow up. I love my family, I really do. But all these years my friends gets priority, activities gets the priority, work gets the priority, everything except family. May I be excused for the time being? I am concentrating on making my home a better place right now since no one is pretty much at home. Just let me be... I will be fine. God is with me.
Thanks dwl for always encouraging me even when i don't respond well sometimes but I really see your heart in the many msges that you've sent. Am amazed at your love for me, you never gave up even when i dont reply for days. You surely resembles our Heavenly Dad. =) Thanks for being such a dear sis.
And friends, you are not forgotten all these while when MIA-ing. Sometimes, I do think of you and very much missed the moments we share but let me clear up my house first. It might take a long time. But hang on there, okay? Will definately invite you to my house when its neat and tidy. Meanwhile, takecare! I am still contactable if you need me.
Thank you for your kind understanding.
Love, sharon.
Sorry for being missing in action for so long.
AND for not replying msges, miss calls, so on and so forth.
Probably I've been busy for too long in my life. I've been out most of the time eversince i joined st john in sec sch. Even during the hols, i'm seldom at home. I haven't seen my grandma for 8 years bcos we always have activities during the holidays. I seldom had time for my family, though I loved them. My younger brother, elder brother, my elder sister, my mummy and my daddy, i loved them alot. I've always wanted to spend time with my family. I've always wanted to see my grandma. But, somehow, there's always another friend to meet, another meeting to attend, another something. I just want some time to spend with my family and ignore all other request. I just want to clear my home and make it nice and neat so that my family will feel like coming home and be proud of our home. I just want our family to be united, to love one another in the love of God, to do things together, to worship and serve at the same church. I wished we could all stay in the same block when we grow up. I love my family, I really do. But all these years my friends gets priority, activities gets the priority, work gets the priority, everything except family. May I be excused for the time being? I am concentrating on making my home a better place right now since no one is pretty much at home. Just let me be... I will be fine. God is with me.
Thanks dwl for always encouraging me even when i don't respond well sometimes but I really see your heart in the many msges that you've sent. Am amazed at your love for me, you never gave up even when i dont reply for days. You surely resembles our Heavenly Dad. =) Thanks for being such a dear sis.
And friends, you are not forgotten all these while when MIA-ing. Sometimes, I do think of you and very much missed the moments we share but let me clear up my house first. It might take a long time. But hang on there, okay? Will definately invite you to my house when its neat and tidy. Meanwhile, takecare! I am still contactable if you need me.
Thank you for your kind understanding.
Love, sharon.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
*holding 2 mandarin oranges and say "gong xi fa cai, wan shi ru yi!"*
shen zhu fu man man =)
replies:
odie & kam: yea yea! i love ice kachang and ice kachang aunty and uncle. thx for intro-ing me.=)
xueer: same here... hehs.
rachelynn: ah! 'm good. you? =)
updates:
yay! i have 4 days of hol! shiok! but the best part is that walk with God again, after not walking with him for about a week. i realise how impt it is to have strength and to live in victory. That's why Jesus makes solitude a priority. relationship with believers is also impt as well. had a simple, nice talk with JX and he sent me some articles to read. found new strength. Knew what am i missing and act upon it. I'm still like a baby sometimes. Spiritual growth is intentional. Just like how you need to intentionally brush and floss your teeth to prevent decay. It wasn't that intentional before. I used to be fed well, like a baby. But, part of growing is learning to feed yourself.
*holding 2 mandarin oranges and say "gong xi fa cai, wan shi ru yi!"*
shen zhu fu man man =)
replies:
odie & kam: yea yea! i love ice kachang and ice kachang aunty and uncle. thx for intro-ing me.=)
xueer: same here... hehs.
rachelynn: ah! 'm good. you? =)
updates:
yay! i have 4 days of hol! shiok! but the best part is that walk with God again, after not walking with him for about a week. i realise how impt it is to have strength and to live in victory. That's why Jesus makes solitude a priority. relationship with believers is also impt as well. had a simple, nice talk with JX and he sent me some articles to read. found new strength. Knew what am i missing and act upon it. I'm still like a baby sometimes. Spiritual growth is intentional. Just like how you need to intentionally brush and floss your teeth to prevent decay. It wasn't that intentional before. I used to be fed well, like a baby. But, part of growing is learning to feed yourself.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Can I just exclaim?
Can I just stand on the mountaintop and shout,
"GOD YOU ARE JUST SO GOOD!!!"
=)
sharon is filled with the JOY of the Lord, even when there are thousands of other reasons to be in negativity, even it's so easy to go into a pity party but sharon holds on to God's promises bcos they are trustworthy, sharon trust in the Lord God Almighty.
I can trust that He has a great future for me. He is still working on me and most of all, He loves me.
sharon is overwhelmed by God's goodness.
i learnt:
"Enoch walked with the Lord" Gen 5:24. What does it means to walk? How can I walk with the Lord? Let me think. How do I walk with a friend? I converse, am connected to the person, am aware of the person's presence. That's how I walked with the Lord! =)
sharon wants to walk with the Lord all the days of her life! =)
Can I just stand on the mountaintop and shout,
"GOD YOU ARE JUST SO GOOD!!!"
=)
sharon is filled with the JOY of the Lord, even when there are thousands of other reasons to be in negativity, even it's so easy to go into a pity party but sharon holds on to God's promises bcos they are trustworthy, sharon trust in the Lord God Almighty.
I can trust that He has a great future for me. He is still working on me and most of all, He loves me.
sharon is overwhelmed by God's goodness.
i learnt:
"Enoch walked with the Lord" Gen 5:24. What does it means to walk? How can I walk with the Lord? Let me think. How do I walk with a friend? I converse, am connected to the person, am aware of the person's presence. That's how I walked with the Lord! =)
sharon wants to walk with the Lord all the days of her life! =)
Sunday, January 04, 2009
i wanna run and swim again! been a couch potato for the longest time ever!
ecp that day was great!
all the captain ball, abit of volleyball, frisbee n rugby.
the best thing was- weather's awesome. like its gonna rain but doesnt rain.
NO SUN AT ALL- YES!
and actually its quite exhilirating to be swung, thrown up and into the sea.
again, again! (sounds like teletubbies. LOL)
someone said i dont have pimples. i have larh, jus that it wasnt as bad as when i was seventeen. i never used facial foam but the outbreak force me to try whatever i can to get rid of those zits. they were all useless. i prayed and my mum bought this pearl powder for me to drink. after awhile, they were gone, totally. and i never used facial foam anymore, I can't. it's not suitable. God knows my skin best =)
today i ran: 1.8km, 15mins
today i read: Num 23:19
"God is not a human, that he should lie, not a human being that he should change his mind. Does he speak and not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
When God told David that he will be king, he hold on to that promise for 21 years before he actually became king.
He brings to pass what he has promised. It is for us to keep believing, keep waiting, keep praying, and keep holding on.
(Abstracts fr you were made for more by jim cymbale n pkc lesson)
It's worth holding on =)
ecp that day was great!
all the captain ball, abit of volleyball, frisbee n rugby.
the best thing was- weather's awesome. like its gonna rain but doesnt rain.
NO SUN AT ALL- YES!
and actually its quite exhilirating to be swung, thrown up and into the sea.
again, again! (sounds like teletubbies. LOL)
someone said i dont have pimples. i have larh, jus that it wasnt as bad as when i was seventeen. i never used facial foam but the outbreak force me to try whatever i can to get rid of those zits. they were all useless. i prayed and my mum bought this pearl powder for me to drink. after awhile, they were gone, totally. and i never used facial foam anymore, I can't. it's not suitable. God knows my skin best =)
today i ran: 1.8km, 15mins
today i read: Num 23:19
"God is not a human, that he should lie, not a human being that he should change his mind. Does he speak and not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
When God told David that he will be king, he hold on to that promise for 21 years before he actually became king.
He brings to pass what he has promised. It is for us to keep believing, keep waiting, keep praying, and keep holding on.
(Abstracts fr you were made for more by jim cymbale n pkc lesson)
It's worth holding on =)
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