Just a quick testimony. I felt like I was going insane one night! Felt super duper upset! The kind where you feel like dying, like life is just too hard, no point trying, just end it all! I just can't do it! It came on 13/11 night. I'm on my bed, fatigue but can't sleep. Work and people momentarily took away this feeling, but it comes back when i'm alone. I wondered how can Jesus survive in this world? I felt like I can't! Too much guilt and condemnation! Too much of why am I like that? Why am I not able to? I wanted to know how Jesus made it since He's 100% man. So, I started listening matthew on the train, to movie and on the way to btj. As I listened, faith and conviction grew. The part where Jesus scolds His disciples saying you of little faith when they feared the storm. It wasn't a condemning voice but one that says, don't worry, I'm (God) here, I'm (God) able to calm the storms in your life!
During btj, I understood why I went through this difficult time and had such torturing feeling. All these while, i've been clinging on to my job cos it gave me enough security. Stable job, stable income, can even bless ppl with my wealth, doesn't it sound good? But felt that God is telling me: Sharon, that's fake security. $70 can be gone in a day. The things that you think are secure can be easily gone. Let your security be in Me alone. I've come to realise that even security doesn't satisfy me and the end of the day, if my security is not in God, I am still shaken and empty, defeated and depressed, not being able to experience the abundant life God has promised.
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11:43pmExpand
Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan
And i'm set free. I am truly happy now! I felt a great release in my spirit when I made the decision to put my security in God alone! The beginning of my abundant life!
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11:50pmExpand
Show ImagesSharon Yu Shu Yan
And yes, I invite you to hold me accountable to the things I said today! May I not be fickle minded, rationalise and change my mind again cos this is where I found my joy- in God! If I do, remind me of today! :-)
