God is really training me. I have no idea why ever since I graduated from advance dip and started working again, my self esteem has been really low... even till recently. It used to be really high in sec sch, poly, in later part of prev ward and in adv dip. I seemed to be always well loved and approved by others. I seemed to often be given impt roles and coming out with valid and smart ideas. But not now.
Sometimes when i speak, the reactions of people make me feel that i've said sth really dumb. Sometimes ppl more juniour than me could be smarter and more competent at work than me. Most of the time, my brain processor is so slow. Sometimes I feel like i've done a lousy job on stage when I spend majority of my free time preparing. Sometimes when I pray, people don't say amen. Sometimes, ppl doubt my ability and I don't get selected for impt roles. Sometimes, I find myself so easily fall into sin and becoming so unholy in my thoughts and actions than before. Seldom, do I hear ppl praising me now. Have my social circle shrank? Have I changed? Have my creative juices stop flowing? Maybe.
''Be faithful still, be obedient still and live by the approval of Me alone.'' God
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